I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon
Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon.
✨
.-' `'.
✨ / \ . ☀️ ☀️
| ;
✨ | | ___.--,
_.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. ✨
__.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""`
( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __
_`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . ☀️
`---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.'
| | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` ✨
\ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) ✨
✨ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-.
jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\
, _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . ☀️
`--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | (
(/` ( (` ) ) '-;
` '-; (-' ✨ ✨
✨
☀️
🚀 <--- BULLS ✨ ☀️
✨
🌙
☀️ ☀️
☀️
✨ 🌎
✨ 🌝
☀️
✨ ✨
WallStreetBets
Mitch is the type of dude who...
Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole
Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco
Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal.
Mitch the kinda guy to leave “smile more” on the tip section of a receipt
Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant
Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit
Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands
Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy
Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
WallStreetBets
Damn missed the TSLA pump
Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
WallStreetBets
Team Bull vs Team Bear
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
WallStreetBets
Wallstreetbet's Christmas break
Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.