[Copypasta] I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

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Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.
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Damn missed the TSLA pump

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Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

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Google employees complaints

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January 2021

WallStreetBets

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

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May 2022

WallStreetBets

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