[Copypasta] I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/qil34t/comment/hilda9s/
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GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good ‘ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies 🚀 Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out 🚀🚀🚀 For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

HODL

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
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February 2021

WallStreetBets

Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave “smile more” on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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