Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโs not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโs a ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
I used to be a real ad
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I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me ๐ซ
I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me ๐ซ
WallStreetBets
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iโm disgusted and Iโm honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itโs halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenโt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadโs wifeโs girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iโm seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iโm low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheโs giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itโs still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itโs time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itโs 2021 you bigots.
WallStreetBets
Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K
Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
WallStreetBets
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ๐๐ go up ๐๐ธ, my dick goes too ๐โฌ๏ธ๐ณ. Bullish ๐ market ๐ฌ makes me hard ๐ฆด๐ฆ. All the countries ๐ณ๏ธ๐ด๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐บ๐ณ try to recover ๐ from corona ๐ฆ so the money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ flows ๐ฌ into my pocket ๐ณ. Soon ๐ there will be a crash ๐๐ญ๐ฅบ๐ and the bears ๐ป will crawl ๐ผ out of their holes ๐ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โ๏ธ๐๐ฉธ if I donโt โ eat โem out ๐
๐ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐โก๏ธ๐ป and make ๐ค๐ผ more money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ and eat some honey ๐ป๐ฏ. When Iโm done โ
Iโll throw a party ๐๐ท๐พ and eat your ass ๐
๐.
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WallStreetBets
Red futures :(
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.