twitchquotes:
why is this game looks like 1998 fidget spinner simulator ???
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
King Kamehameha
twitchquotes:
Aloha Forsen, my name is King Kamehameha, King of Hawaii. I want to invite you to come to our tropical island paradise to teach us Cardstone. You will be compensated with a million palm leaves (over 10 million Swedish dollars). We would love to hear from you. Please no copypasterino
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Forsen
Hearthstone
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Ukrainian President asks Kripp for help
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴜᴋʀᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴘʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴏʟᴇᴋsᴀɴᴅʀ ᴛᴜʀᴄʜʏɴᴏᴠɪɴᴏ. ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴏᴘᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʀᴜssɪᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄɪᴛɪᴢᴇɴs ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴏʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴊ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
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Kripp
KAPOW
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠀⢠⣾⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢠⣶⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⢀⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣾⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣸⣿⣯⣴⢿⣿⣿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠹⡿⢣⣿⡿⠋⠀⠘⠛⠁⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⣾⣿⠟⠉⣸⡿⢣⣾⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣿⣿⣠⡴⠟⢡⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⢀⣴⡿⠃⠀⠟⠋⠁⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife
twitchquotes:
A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife, he stumbled across an old woman in an alleyway after buying some lentil soup. She told Kripp to give him the soup and in return he would find a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, Kripp didnt realize the old woman was the succubus Raina, who would eventually make him a simple casualarrians
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Kripp