twitchquotes:
why is this game looks like 1998 fidget spinner simulator ???
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
There was a bug in the toilet
twitchquotes:
WHEN I SAT DOWN β¬οΈ TO PEE π§ββοΈπ¦ THERE WAS A BUG π IN THE TOILET π½ BUT I THOUGHT π IT WAS DROWNED ππ» ββββ N WHEN I GOT UP β¬οΈ βΌοΈIT WASN'T β THERE 
IM SOBBING π IS IT IN MY FUCKING π BUTTHOLE πβ WHERE IS ITβοΈβοΈβοΈ
IM SOBBING π IS IT IN MY FUCKING π BUTTHOLE πβ WHERE IS ITβοΈβοΈβοΈ
twitch chat
Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house
twitchquotes:
Michael, this is Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house and killed Scarra. The legend says the one that carrys the mark of the donger on his forehead is destined to stop the dark lord. Please Michael avenge Scarra!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
Attention all Fortnite gamers, Trump needs you!
twitchquotes:
Attention all fornite gamers. President Trump is in trouble and needs your help. Grab your pickaxes and get that quick build on. We need your Fortnite building skills to get that border wall up. Quick! find the nearest quad crasher and join Ninja in keeping those migrants out and America safe.
twitch chat
Fortnite
That's not his knee
twitchquotes:
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) that's not his knee ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
Kripp