[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hospitals

twitchquotes: If 700,000 people die in hospitals every year. Why don't we close down these hospitals and prevent those deaths? (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

Grandmaster accused of cheating, responds hilariously

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
August 2021

Chess

Daga Kotowaru (I refuse)

⣼⠀⠀⢻⠿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣟⣒⠶⠿⢿⣷⣷⣦⣟⣻⡿⠿⣷⣶⣭ ⠻⣄⢀⡤⠤⠴⠛⢦⣩⡭⠗⢺⡿⠯⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣽⣟⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦ ⠀⠹⣾⠁⣀⠀⠀⣊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣀⣤⠴⠛⠉⢿⡓⠶⣯⣭⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⡟⢹⢠⡞⣡⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⡋⠁⠀⠙⠻⣭⣟⡒⡲ ⠀⠀⣿⠶⠾⡟⣆⢰⡄⠀⣠⠔⠋⠁⡗⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⣉⡳⠄⠀⣠⣾⠿⠈⠙⢓ ⠀⣰⣿⠁⢀⣙⢮⡳⣥⠞⠁⠘⠄⠀⣧⣶⣋⣥⢶⣻⡭⠿⣗⣴⡋⣟⣆⣠⠾⠋ ⠀⣧⣿⠼⣿⠛⢷⣿⣾⡇⠀⢠⡏⢉⣉⣥⣖⣋⠛⠦⢤⣀⠀⠀⡽⠸⣏⡀⢠⠋ ⠀⢳⣾⠀⠈⢩⢹⣿⡿⠁⠀⠁⠸⣄⠘⢯⣉⣉⣯⣿⣳⣮⠀⠘⣇⣠⡬⣺⣏⢣ ⠀⠈⣿⠀⠐⠀⢀⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠊⠓⠄⡉⢩⣭⠿⠀⠐⠒⡉⣯⠞⣧⢸⠈ ⣤⠤⣼⡇⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⡏⠀⢈⣤⡼ ⢠⠞⢉⣧⠀⠀⣇⠤⣦⣄⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⡐⠛⠂⠀⢀⡟⣀⡾⠋⠁ ⠏⢠⡞⣿⢠⣶⣞⢷⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⡜⠀⠀⠀⣔⣫⣾⡿⣧⠀⠀ ⢀⡟⠀⢻⣠⣿⡾⣭⣽⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⢡⠏⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⡾⠋⠀⢼⡇⠀ ⢸⠁⠀⢸⡏⢣⣝⡛⠛⠻⠧⠀⠀⠀⢀⠚⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⢻⢳⢆⢀⣼⡇⠀ ⠸⡇⠀⠸⡇⠈⠌⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠏⢿⣾⣿⣰⣿⠎⣿⠦ ⠀⢹⡄⠀⣿⢐⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠆⣀⣠⠴⠖⠛⠉⠀⠀⢀⣤⢞⣵⠃⠀⠹⣇ ⢣⡀⠙⢦⡈⠓⠮⢤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡤⠞⠋⡤⠜⠃⠀⠀⠤⠛
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Ultra Variety Pack bag of Dongers

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Ultra Variety Pack™ bag of Dongers. ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

LS, aka "Life Support"

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Life Support", is a dying streamer for CLG and a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for playing the same 5 songs every stream and questionable tft game knowledge. He is specifically known for his varus one trick pony in low gold korean tft solo-queue.
twitch chat
July 2019
imls

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing