[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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November 2021

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
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COVID

Coronavirus

Kripp gets married in a shack

twitchquotes: Rania: "why are you playing Diablo 3, Kripp? How can we afford Big Fat Greek Wedding with 5k Diablo viewers?" But the Kripp doesn't listen. He plays Diablo 3 and loses all his viewers and gets married in a shack.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
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I think its hilarious u kids talking shit about Tim

twitchquotes: i think its hilarious 😂😭 u kids 👶🙋 talking shit🗣💩 about Tim. u wouldnt say this *** to him irl, hes jacked💪👊. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes,👕👖 eats at the chillest restaurants🏯❄ and hangs out with the hottest dudes🔥😎. yall are pathetic lol✋
twitch chat
November 2016
TimTheTatman
Text-to-Speech Playing