I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
learn instead of crying
twitchquotes:
This is a game of pure skill and you lost because you were completely outplayed and outmaneuvered. It's better to learn from your mistakes instead of crying because you believe your opponents are luckier than you are. One day, when you can actually admit to your mistakes, you might actually be better at the game. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Among Us player was ejected
twitchquotes:
. γγγγγγβ’γ γοΎγγγ γγ.γγγ.γγγ γγ.γγγγγγγγ γγ. γ.γγ γγ ΰΆ γγ . β’ . [Enter name] was ejected. . . γ γγ. γ γγγγγγγγγοΎγγγ.γγγγγ. ,γγγγ.γ .γγ .
twitch chat
Among Us / Amogus
Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!
twitchquotes:
β°[βΔΉΜ―ΰ² ]β―Ahoy, matey! Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!β°[βΔΉΜ―ΰ² ]β―
twitch chat
Reynad
This guy's deck is average
twitchquotes:
β βThis guy's deck is averageβ β βMy deck wins about half of the time against a deck like thatβ β "He played precisely those two cards" β βHe topdecked a mediocre card for a mediocre turnβ β "He had several cards" β βThere were multiple options open to meβ β βI played that"
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
This Copypasta Is CRAZY!
There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist
There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.