I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
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i didnt fuck my cat emojified
twitchquotes:
i🙋♂️didn’t 🚫 fuck 🍆💦my cat😾. i didnt 🚫cum 🍆💦on my cat😼 . i didnt❌ put 
my Dick 🍆 anywhere 🌎near my cat🙀 . Ive never ❌🙅♀️done anything weird ❓❓❓with my 💁♂️😻cats. I promised🤝 myself 🤞i wasnt going to make 💢💢apology 😿 videos📹 after last years📅 thing so im just trying to be as short and honest 👍 with this 👅😼as possible. (1/?)
my Dick 🍆 anywhere 🌎near my cat🙀 . Ive never ❌🙅♀️done anything weird ❓❓❓with my 💁♂️😻cats. I promised🤝 myself 🤞i wasnt going to make 💢💢apology 😿 videos📹 after last years📅 thing so im just trying to be as short and honest 👍 with this 👅😼as possible. (1/?)
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It is canon that Kermit the Frog caused 9/11 in the Muppet universe
In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alrernate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene; however, they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
Jeff Bezos could give every person 1 BILLION dollars
Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!