I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
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How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)
Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED
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LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED 
BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ
BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED BZZZ BZZZ
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Will you be my Quaran-TINE?
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Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
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Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols
twitchquotes:
☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ .☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩
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strifecro
Taking my polar bear for a walk
twitchquotes:
╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ʕ° ᴥ°ʔ Oh, don't mind me. Just taking my polar bear for a walk.
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Trump