[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp's old channel description

twitchquotes: Did you know Kripp and Krippi are the first to kill Diablo with Hardcore characters on Inferno? Kripparrian’s channel features end game coverage of Hearthstone, Diablo, Warcraft, Guild Wars 2, and other games. All played at the most hardcore and competitive levels possible, live every day!
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

PepegaPhone

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⡀⢠⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣟⣉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣉⡻⢿⣇⣠⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣁⣄⡈⠻⣿⢃⣴⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣭⣭⣄⡀⠛⢡⣾⡏⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡏⠄⠄⠢⠘⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⡿⠁⠙⣿⡄⢸⣿⡇⢰⡷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠋⣷⢸⣿⠇⢰⠆⣿⡇⠈⢿⡿⠆⠄⣠⡄ ⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣇⢿⡌⠻⣤⣤⠶⠟⣁⠐⡖⠒⠂⢉⣩⣀ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⣥⣤⣤⡄⠄⠘⠋⠛⠿⡌⠛⠳⠶⠆⣠⣴⣿⣷⡘⢋⣽⣿⡿⠟ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣇⡈⠟⢠⣄⣰⢏⡠⠄⠰⢶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣟⣡⠴⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣯⣠⠞⣠⣈⠻⠿⠿⢿⣛⣉⠤⠶⠛⣫⡀⠄⠄ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⢿⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣻⡄⣀⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡖⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣾⡿⠇⣀⡀⠄⠄⠁⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣤⣤⣴⠶⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching [insert streamer here]. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
September 2020

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing