[Copypasta] I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

UNO skip card

⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣾⡿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀ ⢸⣿⢠⠞⣩⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⡆ ⢸⣿⣄⣈⣉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡟⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠋⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⠛⢿⣿⠀ ⢸⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠞⣡⡼⢸⣿⠀ ⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣥⣴⣿⠟⠀
ascii art
March 2021

Classic

48 year man from somalia

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp Aryan, am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england.. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "heart of stone" and i want to become the goodest player like you. I play with 400 ping on US server and i am rakn 17. pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

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