[Copypasta] I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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Only way I can feel safe

twitchquotes: When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to Kripps youtube, turn the brightness all the way up and watch the video with the laptop screen close to my eyes. When the video is done I close my eyes and can still see Kripps face while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth: ~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~ KappaPride ~ KappaPride ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

Classic

KappaPride

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Don't feel too bad after Team Liquid destroys G2

twitchquotes: Hey EU fans, don't feel too bad after Team Liquid absolutely destroys G2 tonight. Being the 2nd best region in the world (after North America of course) is still something to be very proud of! ๐Ÿ™‚
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

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