[Copypasta] That's the power of cargo pants

twitchquotes: Excuse me? Cargo pants, motherfucker. My pockets have pockets. You can't stop the storage. And when it gets too hot, just unzip and remove the lower half of the legs. Utility, motherfuckers. Want me to hold your phone for a second? how about I hold one of every phone on the market, each with their own individual pocket. Want me to hold your souvenir from your vacation to Europe? How about I put Europe in my pocket. That's the power of cargo pants, motherfuckers
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta

HOLA👋🏻 all you dirty little TACO🌮SLUTS😘🤣do you know what day it is?!🤔 I smell immigrants🙎🏾‍♂️🙋🏽‍♂️ and CULTURAL APPROPRIATION🙅🏼 so it must be SINKO DE FUCKING MAYONNAISE😩💦🍻🌮❤️🌯 Hide your KIDS👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, hide your BURRITOS🌯, and get your CUMMIES READY😩cause DADDY TRUMP🇧🇪is coming to deport us all🤷🏽‍♂️🙆🏾 But DONT FORGET to drink TACOS 🌮 and eat TEQUILA 🍸because the only way for you FILTHY CUMSLUTS to stay in America🇺🇸is to PARTYYY🎈🎉🎁😍💦😩 So send this to CINCO(5 you dumb bitch) of the SLUTTIEST😏 jars of MAYO you know and if you DONT ❌get any back you get NO 🚫🚫CULTURAL CUMMIES 😭🤷🏽‍♂️🌮💦😩
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

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Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Dick Butt v2

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ascii art
July 2022

Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lil’ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.”
February 2022

WallStreetBets

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.
May 2021

Simps

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