twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
It seems you've Eucked Fk0p
twitchquotes:
As Trump leads Mira into the bedroom, she thinks about how many viewers tucking Frump will get her. As they get in bed, Trump turns off the light. After a vigorous minute, Mira rolls off Trump. "Could you host my stream?" she asks. "Sure," replies Ek 
p. As Mira recoils in horror, Trump speaks from the door, "It seems you've Eucked Fk0p."
p. As Mira recoils in horror, Trump speaks from the door, "It seems you've Eucked Fk0p."
twitch chat
Trump
I hate April Fool's Day
Iβm fucking shaking and crying right now yβall, and people arenβt taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISNβT FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. Iβve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, theyβd be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as Iβm BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. Iβm allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because ITβS SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. Iβve had enough
Kappa
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Classic
Salt season pass
twitchquotes:
Kripp, this is Don salteroni from Sodium enterprises, we would like to remind you to renew your season pass as soon as possible if you would like to continue receiving daily shipments of table salt, best regards Don salteroni. pls no 
twitch chat
Kripp
spagootie
sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days.
next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.