[Copypasta] My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
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August 2017
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There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY

เถž AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers Ok so we were flirting and he took of his pants and started to rub his bulge then he pulls his dick out, I dead ass said โ€œ thatโ€™s pretty pogโ€ he then broke up with me after we were done ๐Ÿ’€
July 2021

HassanChop

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
April 2018

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ“ฎ๐Ÿ“ฎโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i canโ€™t expose who he is to other crewmates ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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