twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...
twitchquotes:
Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. It’s boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. I’m not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though they’re not.
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being misplayed during tournaments and silencing the incorrect cards. People say to me that a person being an owl is ridiculous and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a genetic engineer put ironbeak owl DNA into my body, equipping me with feathers, beaks, and the power to silence others. From now on I want you guys to call me "Owlsen" and respect my right to silence from above and silence needlessly. If you can't accept me you're an owlphobe and need to check your animal privilege. Thank you for understanding.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
I sexually Identify as
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
Navy Seal
Kaceytron's Porn Producer
twitchquotes:
ＫＡＣＥＹＴＲＯＮ, ＨＥＲＥ＇Ｓ ＹＯＵＲ ＰＯＲＮ ＰＲＯＤＵＣＥＲ ＣＡＬＬＩＮＧ ＹＯＵ ＯＵＴ！ Ｉ ＣＯＵＬＤＮ＇Ｔ ＲＥＡＣＨ ＹＯＵ ＯＮ ＰＯＲＮＨＵＢ ＯＲ ＢＲＡＺＺＥＲＳ, ＳＯ Ｉ＇Ｍ ＣＡＬＬＩＮＧ ＹＯＵ ＯＵＴ ＨＥＲＥ ＯＮ ＴＨＥ ＴＷＩＴＣＨ ＣＨＡＴ, ＨＯＰＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ ＭＩＮＤ！ ＷＥ ＪＵＳＴ ＳＣＨＥＤＵＬＥＤ Ａ ＮＥＷ ＭＯＶＩＥ ＣＡＬＬＥＤ "ＫＩＮＧ ＤＯＮＧＥＲ" ＹＯＵ＇ＬＬ ＢＥ ＴＨＥ ＭＡＩＮ ＳＴＡＲ ＡＬＯＮＧ ＷＩＴＨ ＢＥＮ Ｄ＇ＯＶＥＲ ＡＮＤ ＫＩＮＫＹ ＫＯＮＧ！ ＣＯＭＥ ＯＶＥＲ ＴＯＭＯＲＲＯＷ ＡＴ １２ＰＭ, ＷＥ ＳＴＡＲＴ ＰＲＯＤＵＣＴＩＯＮ ＡＴ ＴＨＡＴ ＨＯＵＲ. ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＤＯ ＷＥＬＬ, ＹＯＵ＇ＬＬ ＨＡＶＥ ＡＮ ＥＸＴＲＡ. ＜３ ＸＯＸＯ
twitch chat
Kaceytron
Twitch Chat containment solution
twitchquotes:
International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat