twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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More Copypastas
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I donβt know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itβs my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iβll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iβll walk around my house and pick up various different βtrinketsβ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like βIβll be having thatβ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (βtrinketsβ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iβm 99% sure they donβt know itβs me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
Classic
Confessions
Kripp's MALDHAWK
twitchquotes:
Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
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Kripp
Faceful Void
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Dota 2
POWERING UP PORTAL ONLINE
twitchquotes:
<(-O-)> POWERING UP <(-O-)> PORTAL ONLINE
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Forsen
RIP Joe the Spider
I know this is really stupid but Iβm sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. Iβm a girl who lives alone so I guess some βdudeβ stuff hasnβt been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. Heβs a dandy long leg. Heβs been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said βyouβre welcomeβ. Iβm super confused. So I ask βfor what?β He says βI just killed a big ass spider for youβ.
I couldnβt even contain myself. I just yelled βYOU KILLED JOE?!β And started tearing up. I didnβt tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. Heβs a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joeβs trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.