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My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917
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I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of seizing the means of production from the dirty bourgeoisie. People say to me that a person being a historical communist revolution is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon instal hammers, sickles, and other assorted proletariat farming tools on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Comrade" and respect my right to seize the means of production and free the working class. If you can't accept me you're an oppressor and need to check your capitalist privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually Identify as
His name was Norman Reedus
I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
Surprised Shrek
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⠟⠫⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣩⡍⣙⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿
⣿⠤⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣧⣿⠇⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢻
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣾⣿⢟⣼⠒⢲⡔⣺⣿⣧⠄⠄⣠⠤⢤⡀⠄⠟⠉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣾
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣀⣬⣵⣿⣿⣿⣶⡤⠙⠄⠘⠃⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠂⠉⠒⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣷⣶⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣰⠄⠄⠄⠄⢾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⠋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠐⡇⠄⠈⠙⠛⠋
⠋⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⣬⣿⣤⣐⣂⣄⣀⣠⡴⠖⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠈⠈⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣉⡉⠉⠈⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⡈⢿⣷⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⡦⢤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣠⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
Shrek
MONTHLY PLEB TEST
twitchquotes:
PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ btsLdW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ btsKotlW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ mitchW ✓ singsingFcuk ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ btsGodzW ✓ merliniHappyMerlini ✓ taymooW ✓ rtzW ✓ admiralW ✓ envySwag ✓ sumailKappa ✓ btsMerliniW ✓ wtrWtR ✓ dagerDendi ✓ ppdSalt ✓ fearGASM ✓ singsingP ✓ fluffyW ✓ ratW ✓ Pleb test passed
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Classic
Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom
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"Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
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Kripp