[Copypasta] My son got kicked out of school

twitchquotes: My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. FeelsBadMan
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August 2017
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Brazilian No. 1 Futbol Player Eduardo Pasterinho

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! Iᴛ ɪs I, Bʀᴀᴢɪʟɪᴀɴ Nᴏ. 1 ғᴜᴛʙᴏʟ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ Eᴅᴜᴀʀᴅᴏ Pᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ. Aғᴛᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ɢᴏᴛ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴇʀᴍᴀɴ ᴛʀʏʜᴀʀᴅs, I ғᴇᴀʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ. Pʟs ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙʏ ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ ᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍʏ sᴀʟᴀʀʏ. Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ
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December 2014
Kripp

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

I am like a boomerang, I will always return

twitchquotes: Dear nazi mods. you may have permabanned my other account, but shitposting will always find a way. I will lie about how to make faces. I will accuse teams of 322. I will raise my dongers. So don't even waste your time banning me, because I am like a boomerang. I will always return. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino cappucino.
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March 2014

MODS

forsenCD

⠉⡛⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣸⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠉⢉⣴⠏⠉⢁⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⣸ ⣯⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⡤⠿⢉⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⠄⠄⢠⡄⣸ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡀⡀⡀⠠⢀⣾⢟⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣷⣽⣴⣋⣥⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠒⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⣀⢀⣤⣤⣌⣁⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2019
Forsen

Emote

Ben Shapiro LEGO city

Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY! This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?
December 2020

Lego City

Ben Shapiro

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