twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My chat experience is ruined with dinger spam
twitchquotes:
I for one am glad submode is on. I pay $4.99 USD a month to watch the living legend, Michael "iamacutepie" Santana, and I feel my experience is ruined with "dinger" spam, whatever that means.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
See you in court
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
twitch chat
Kripp
The year is 2025. MoonMoon lies on his deathbed
twitchquotes:
The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he hits the hardest dab known to humanity
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Because it's a cool cat
FORCED I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.