twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
twitch chat
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Bloons TD Dart Monkey
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⡟⠉⣻⣿⣿⡏⠰⣷⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⡀⠙⣻⣿⣿⣄⣠⣴⡿⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣉⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⢡⣽⣿⣿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣴⡨⠛⠋⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢈⣿⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣿⣷⡜⣿⣧⡉⠉⠙⠋⠁⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⢠⣾⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded
Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world
Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
Ahegao 2
⣿⡇⠘⡇⢀⣶⣶⠄⠈⣾⡟⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⢾⢃⣿⣿⡟⣸⢸⣿⣿⣸
⣿⢸⣦⢧⢸⣿⣿⢱⠄⠄⣇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⡯⠸⣿⢳⢱⡏⣼⣿⢇⣿
⡏⣾⢽⣼⢸⣿⣿⡘⣆⢀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⢇⣿⠂⢌⡾⡇⣿⡿⢸⣿
⢧⣿⠄⢹⢸⣿⣿⣷⣭⢸⡄⣿⣿⣿⢋⣵⣿⣿⡿⠟⡨⡡⠄⣾⣿⡆⣭⡇⣿⣿
⣼⡏⡀⠄⢀⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⡇⣿⡿⣡⢁⣿⣿⣫⡶⢃⡵⣡⣿⣮⡻⡇⣿⢸⣮⢿
⣿⡇⣧⢠⠸⡎⡍⡭⢾⡏⣧⢋⢾⠏⣼⣿⣿⠿⣵⣾⣕⠿⣿⣿⣷⢡⠏⣾⣿⣿
⣿⠁⣿⠈⠄⠄⢃⢹⡀⠸⢸⢿⠸⢰⢻⢿⣟⢁⣀⠄⠄⠉⠒⢝⢿⠸⣴⣿⣿⣿
⡍⠇⣿⣷⢰⢰⢸⠄⡃⡆⠈⠈⡀⡌⠠⠸⠃⣿⣏⡳⢷⢄⡀⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⠸⣿⢸⣿⣶⡄⣇⠃⡇⡄⡇⠁⠃⠄⠈⢊⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⠄⢻⣸⣿⣿⠏⡙⢸⣇⣡⢰⢀⠄⠄⠄⠈⡁⢱⢈⢿⣿⡿⡄⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡿⢰⡇⠆⠲⠶⣝⠾⠸⢴⢠⠄⠇⢸⢸⠄⡶⡜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏
⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡇⠧⢣⣸⣦⣄⣀⠁⠓⢸⣄⠸⢀⠄⡀⡀⡪⣽⣿⣿⢿⣿⢟⣬
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢧⠯⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠰⣷⠄⣿⣇⡿⠄⡀⠦⣰⣿⡿⣱⣿⡏⢾⣫
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣌⢌⢿⣿⣿⠇⠼⢃⢠⢇⣻⣧⣿⡡⣸⣿⠿⢁⡟⢁⣳⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠳⢝⣒⣒⠰⣘⣴⡧⠿⣿⣛⡯⣱⡿⣫⢎⣪⣎⣿⣧⢻⠿