twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
Who came? Bananaman
twitchquotes:
My son is running around the house without pants saying "Who Came". I came over to his computer and your sub sound is completely inappropriate. I have the strong urge to disown my son now. Unbelievable. As a parent you disappoint me.
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shroud
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds
It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house
twitchquotes:
It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Lassiz looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Lassiz begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Lassiz releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner.
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MOONMOON
KappaPride
HELLO DALLAS FUEL? IT'S THE POINT
twitchquotes:
π 
HELLO DALLAS FUEL? π IT'S THE POINT π IM RUNNING OUT OF TIME
HELLO DALLAS FUEL? π IT'S THE POINT π IM RUNNING OUT OF TIME
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
TOUCH IT KRIPP
twitchquotes:
β°Uβ―β(βΙ·β ) TOUCH THE DONGER KRIPP
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Kripp