twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
twitch chat
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Among Us concerned father
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game “Among Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ‘kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll “eject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a “crewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use “vent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
Among Us / Amogus
C9 THIS C9 THAT
twitchquotes:
C9 THIS C9 THAT YOU GUESSED IT IM PLAT
C9 THIS C9 THAT YOU GUESSED IT IM PLAT
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Rhyme Chant
Overwatch
Wallstreetbet's Christmas break
Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
WallStreetBets
If your girlfriend cheats on you
twitchquotes:
If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
Putin had a private screening of Morbius
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”