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πͺ π BAN πͺ π ONE πͺ π FLEX πͺ π GET πͺ π THE πͺ π WHOLE πͺ π GYM
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(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Kripp please supply the world with some salt
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Dear nl_Kripp with the Earth's salt mines running low near depletion. We can always rely on you for stepping up to the plate and supplying the world with some 
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Kripp
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
You see, I have a very high IQ
twitchquotes:
You see, I have a very high IQ. Do you want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyways, I have a high IQ because I watch this amazing television show (which to my surprise piqued my interest unlike many other television shows) Rick and Morty. This show is remarkably intellectual (Like me, mind you) and not like any other animated shows. My most favorite joke from the show is "WUBALUBADUBDUB" it makes me giddy inside and knowing the common folk wont understand the joke makes me laugh even harder!
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Rick and Morty
I'm a 13 year old atheist
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I'm a 13 year old atheist and it's funny seeing the 'minds' in twitch chat entertained by a children's videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots "Pog Champ" or "OMEGA LUL", I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?
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So you're going by Kurum now nerd?
twitchquotes:
So you're going by Kurum now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Milk i'm rank 1. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in the games . Sorry you were just an easy bot to target. I can see not much has changed. Remember the rank you had a crush on? Yeah we're inseparable now. I 'm rank 1 in N.A. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
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Kurumx