[Copypasta] Missing shots

Can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?

twitchquotes: reynad, everytime I watch you I start sweating, I believe this is because you have the power to harvest salt through my pores even through the internet, can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?

twitch chat

November 2014

Reynad

salty

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

August 2021

Head automatically goes to pillow

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Heroes of Storm，ｍｙｈｅａｄａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙｇｏｅｓｔｏｔｈｅｐｉｌｌｏｗ．Ｉｗａｔｃｈｈｉｍｓｐａｍ２ｓｋｉｌｌｓｗｉｔｈｎｏｇｒａｐｈｉｃｓａｎｄＩｆｅｅｌＩｈａｖｅｓｅｘｗｉｔｈｔｈｅｐｉｌｌｏｗ．ＡｌｌｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇＳＬＥＥＰ

twitch chat

March 2014

Kripp

Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.

twitch chat

October 2014

Kripp

Hearthstone

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

twitchquotes: Red 🔴 📛 sus 💦 💦. Red 🔴 🔴 suuuus. I 👁👄 👁 said 🤠🗣 💬👱🏿💦 red 👹 🔴, sus 💦 💦, hahahahaha 🤣 🤣. Why

arent you 👉😯 👈 laughing 😂 😂? I 👁🍊 👥 just made 👑 👑 a reference 👀👄🙀 👀👄🙀 to the popular 👍😁😂 😂 video 📹 📹 game 🎮 🎮 "Among 🇷🇴🎛 💰 Us 👨 👨"! How can you 👈 👈 not laugh 😂 😂 at it? Emergeny meeting 💯 🤝! Guys 👦 👨, this here guy 👨 👱🏻👨🏻 doesnt laugh 🤣 ☑😂😅 at my funny 😃😂 🍺😛😃 Among 💰 💰 Us 👨 👨 memes 🐸 😂! Lets 🙆 🙆 beat ✊👊🏻 😰👊 him 👴 👨 to death 💀💥❓ 💀! Dead 💀😂 ☠ body 💃 💃 reported ☎ 🧐! Skip 🐧 🏃🏼! Skip 🐧 🐧! Vote 🔝 🔝 blue 💙 💙! Blue 💙 💙 was not an impostor 😎 😠. Among 😂 🙆🏽🅰 us 👨 👨 in a nutshell 😠 😠 hahahaha 😂👌👋 😂. What?! Youre still 🤞🙌 🤞🙌 not laughing 😂 😂 your

ass 🍑 🅰 off 📴 📴☠? I 👁 👁 made 👑 👑 SEVERAL 💯 💯 funny 😀😂😛 😃❓ references 👀👄🙀 📖 to Among 💰 💑👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩 Us 👨 🇺🇸 and YOU 👈🏼 😂👉🔥 STILL 🤞🙌 🙄 ARENT LAUGHING 😂 😂😎💦??!!! Bruh ⚠ 😳🤣😂. Ya 🙏🎼 🙀 hear 👂 👂 that? Wooooooosh 💦👽👾 💦👽👾. Whats 😦 😦 woooosh 🚁 🚁? Oh 🙀 🙀, nothing ❌ 🚫. Just the sound 👂 🔊 of a joke 😂 😂 flying ✈ ✈ over 😳🙊💦 🔁 your

head 💆 💆. Whats 😦

that? You 👈

think 💭 💭 im 👌 💘 annoying 😠 😠? Kinda 🙅 🙅 sus 💦 💦, bro 👆 🌈☺👬. Hahahaha 😂 😂! Anyway 🔛 🔛, yea 😀 💯, gotta

go 🏃 🏃 do tasks ✔ 📋. Hahahaha 😂 😂!

twitch chat

December 2020

[Copypasta] Missing shots

Can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?

salty

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Head automatically goes to pillow

Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion

Hearthstone

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

Among Us / Amogus

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