[Copypasta] I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Repeating yourselves like parrots

twitchquotes: Wow, you imbeciles are especially stupid tonight. Repeating yourselves like parrots, spouting puerile taunts at each other, using crude 'emoticons'... Can you even form SENTENCES? One day you'll all be too dumb to even type your 'dongers,' and then twitch chat can finally have some merit. Until then, I'll stick to the moderated streams..
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I hate Twitch Chat

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ Ｏｐｔｉｍｕｓ Ｐｒｉｍｅ ｒｅｓｐｏｎｄｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｙｏｕｒ ｅｎｃｏｄｅｄ ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ． Ｗｅ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄ ｉｎ ｐｏｕｒｉｎｇ ｏｕｒ ｓｅｌｆ ｉｎ ＯＪ ｗｈｉｌｅ Ｔｏｐｄｅｃｋｉｎｇ Ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｂｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｔｈａｔ ａｎｙｍｏｒｅ ｂｅｅｐｉｎｇ ｗｉｌｌ ｌｅａｖｅ ｍｅ ｎｏ ｃｈｏｉｃｅ ｂｕｔ ｔｏ ｐｅｐｐｅｒｏｎｉ ｔｈｅ Ｎａｚｉ ｍｏｄｓ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Second breakfast

twitchquotes: "Rania, where's my breakfast?" asks the Kripp. "You already had it!" she replies. "Yes, I've had one, but what about second breakfast?" asks the Kripp. As Rania walks away, Kripp is startled. "I don't think she knows about second breakfast," Kripp panics, "What about brunch, elvensies, afternoon falafel?"
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Imagine the profit!

twitchquotes: soon kripp. you will have enough subs to turn it into sub mode. you will cause a rage so fierce from the common plebs that they will only turn to subbing to not lose their spam rights. you will become the richest streamer on here based off the rage of others. imagine the profit!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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