Search Results | TwitchQuotes

4745 copypastas found.

Day 2 without sports

twitchquotes: Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice. Apparently we also have 2 kids.

twitch chat

March 2020

Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?

According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.

November 2021

Who Asked?

The prodigal son has returned

twitchquotes: Papparin opens the door to see a hobo squating outside his house. He hugs the lankey figure and tears drip onto a Diablo 2 shirt that has seen better times. "Tonight we feast," Papparin says as he begins to prepare a meal of falafel. Kripp flops down on his bed, surrounded by empty OJ cartons from a year ago. The prodigal son has returned.

twitch chat

June 2015

Kripp

Imagine complaining about aim assist

twitchquotes: Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We can’t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.

twitch chat

February 2019

Fortnite

I hope Seraphine wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Seraphine wins xD. I'm a Sera main and she's just so fun!! People get so trolled by the charm, and her tweets are so cute like when she writes about anxiety LOL! She's super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD

twitch chat

October 2020

League of Legends

Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: I’ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious it’s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what he’s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao I’m outta here

twitch chat

November 2020

Aurateur

Imaqtpie's daily routine

twitchquotes: BrokeBack

wait 20 min for queue BrokeBack

spam ads

start game BrokeBack

feed all game BrokeBack

say "wow we lost that" BrokeBack

spam ads

repeat for 8 hours BrokeBack

twitch chat

November 2018

imaqtpie

League of Legends

GIDDY UP SEXMAS

December 2023

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.

twitch chat

April 2015

Kripp

Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch

Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ————————————————————————

twitch chat

March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."

September 2021

NSFW

Get Jousted

twitchquotes: ╰༼.◕ヮ◕.༽つ¤=[]———— Get Jousted

twitch chat

August 2015

Reynad

Hearthstone

I am... the Kripp

twitchquotes: My name is Octavian Morosan, and I am the saltiest man alive. To the outside world, I'm an ordinary vegan, but secretly, with the help of my friends at P.E.T.A. Labs, I play childrens card games and find other babies like me. I BM'd the man who killed my mother, but in doing so, I opened up our world to new threats. And I am the only one salty enough to complain about going second. them. I am... The Kripp!

twitch chat

February 2017

Kripp