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4745 copypastas found. 75 streams found. 83 copypasta tags found.
I used to be a real ad
75 streamers found.
83 tags found.
4745 copypastas found.

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

I'm epic gamer style

twitchquotes: Yeah Iโ€™m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault Iโ€™m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldnโ€™t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
twitch chat
May 2019

Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lilโ€™ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.โ€
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Yer in proper mess ya nob head

twitchquotes: แดœ แดกแดแด› แด8? ษช sแดกแด‡ส€ แดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แดษดแด‡ แด„สœแด‡แด‡แด‹ส แด„แดœษดแด› แดแด€แด›แด‡, sแด€ส ษชแด› แด›แด แดส า“แด€แด„แด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษดแดแด› แดษดสŸษชษดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แดกแด‡'สŸสŸ sแด‡แด‡ แดกสœแด€แด› สœแด€แด˜แด˜แด‡ษดs. ษช sแดกแด‡ส€ 2 แด„สœส€ษชsแด› I'สŸสŸ สœแดแดแด‹ สแดแดœ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ ษขแด€ส™ส™แด€. สแดแดœ ส™แด‡แด›แด›แด‡ส€ sสœแดœแด› สแดแดœส€ แดแดแดœแด›สœ แดส€ ษชแด แด„แด€สŸสŸษชษดษข แดแด‡ สœแดแดแด‡ส™แดสs ส€ษชแด›แด‡ ษดแดแดก แด˜ส€แด‡แด˜แด€ส€ษชษด า“แดส€ แด€ แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด‡ส€ ส€แดœแดส™สŸแด‡. แด›สœแด€ ส€แดœแดส™สŸแด‡ แด›สœแด€แด›สŸสŸ แดแด€แด‹แด‡ สแดแดœส€ ษดแด€ษด sแดส€แด‡ แดŠแดœs สœแด‡แด€ส€ษชษด ส™แดแดœแด› ษชแด›. สแด‡ส€ ษชษด แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด‡ส€ แดแด‡ss สแด€ ษดแดส™ สœแด‡แด€แด….
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Cypher

twitchquotes: What do we have here? Ah, itโ€™s the enemy, trying to hide their secrets among their little, feeble minds. But they fail to realize one thing. I am always watching, I know your every move, every step because nothing stays hidden from me. You can try to hide behind your corners, you can try to scurry away to safety, but I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE! But first, gimme a corpse
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

I have given in to the copy pasterino

twitchquotes: ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ) I have given in to the copy pasterino. From now on I will devote myself to replicating every text, every word so that it may live on forever and fill the hearts and souls of our fellow copy pasterino's! ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking

twitchquotes: I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking, but I'm hoping viewers watch w/ an open mind. Beneath what looks like Quick Attack spam is actually a lot of depth in the MU. Knowing when to press the B button is important. Pika dealing with his own height is intriguing too.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

I have to tell you guys something that is very important indeed

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

KappaPride

where were u wen Melon Captol die (GameStop short squeeze)

apolgy for bad english where were u wen Melon Captol die i was at Gamestock buying Ps5 when phone ring "Melon is kil" โ€œyesโ€
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Goldshire Footman is one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Goldshire Footman quickly became one of my favorite cards. He might not be the strongest minion in the game, but he protects me without hesitation against large minions and the way he says "Ready for battle" always fills me with confidence :)
twitch chat
January 2019

Hearthstone

could you please take post down (Twitter)

Excuse me, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. That is my sister who was killed by a metra train. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know her but I need you to take this down please.
April 2021

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021

Reddit is a privilege, not a right

I just downvoted your thread. # FAQ: ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your thread and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: Rudeness towards other Redditors, Spreading incorrect information, Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. Trump. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is a privilege, not a right.
December 2020

Reddit

Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...

twitchquotes: Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. Itโ€™s boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. Iโ€™m not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though theyโ€™re not.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I love seeing TRUMP lose

twitchquotes: I love seeing TRUMP lose, it's my daily medicine, my weekly energy, my monthly inspiration and my yearly motivation. His loss is the only reason i'm still alive, i was born to love and enjoy the failure that he has achieved.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Niga Higa Bromance song lyrics

๐ŸŒˆ BROMANCE ๐Ÿ‘Š nothing really gay ๐Ÿฅต about it ๐Ÿ’ฏ not that there's ๐Ÿ‘Œ anything wrong with being KappaPride gay ๐ŸŒˆ BROMANCE ๐Ÿ‘Š shouldn't be ashamed ๐Ÿ‘€ or hide it ๐Ÿ‘ค I love you ๐Ÿ˜ in the most heterosexual way ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ’ฆ
February 2021

PC vs console youtube comment

Says the poor brainless console peasant. No mods, no money to achieve high performance, no creativity to set up your own devices. Calling me pathetic lol, I actually work and gather money for Gaming PC whilst you console peasants probably beg to your parents for buying you a console. So tell me, have you been a good brat by doing house chores?
June 2021

I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didnโ€™t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, โ€œOh, like youโ€™re doing now?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like โ€œSir, you need to pay for those first.โ€ At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually โ€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,โ€ and then turned around and winked at me. I donโ€™t even think thatโ€™s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing