[Copypasta] I'm epic gamer style

Mayor of Canadaland

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʏᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴄᴀɴᴀᴅᴀʟᴀɴᴅ. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴍʏ sᴏɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀ sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴜs ᴏᴜʀ sᴀʟᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴅʀʏ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ɪs ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ʜᴀʀᴅ-ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅᴀɪʟʏ ᴍᴇᴀʟs. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.

twitch chat

December 2014

Kripp

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, “Alright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, “Get down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, “Fucking stream snipers.”

twitch chat

May 2016

Kripp

Hearthstone

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good

August 2021

haHAA emote

⡿⢋⡿⠛⣡⣿⣿⡟⢉⣽⣟⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠰⠏⠽⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⠛⣀⣈⠩⠭⠤⠤⠴⢶⣶⣤⡐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠆⣠⣶⠖⠒⠒⠒⠲⠦⣤⣤ ⣤⣾⡟⣋⣠⡄⡀⣀⢀⡢⢌⣙⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⠏⡸⠟⣩⢠⡀⠤⢠⡄⣲⣶⣿ ⣿⡿⢷⣌⡛⠧⠤⠄⠘⣛⣂⣼⣿⡇⢠⣶⡆⠄⣿⡶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠦⠬⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢹⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠃⢸⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣋⠠⠂⣰⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣉ ⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣤⡆⢸⣿⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣦⣄⡐⠲⣿⡋⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⣉⡑⠈⢻⣿⣿⠟⢉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠇⣼⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢤⣤⣤⠾⠿⠛⢛⣉⠉⡉⢻⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⠐⠄⡂⢀⣀⢐⡒⢒⠒⢒⠒⡒⠒⡒⢚⡉⣁⠰⠠⢀⣾⠇⣼⣿ ⣇⢻⣷⡈⢿⡇⢰⣌⡐⠨⢐⠛⠸⠇⠿⠇⠿⠸⠿⠘⣃⣩⡴⢁⣾⣿⣄⡟⢠ ⣿⡄⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⡟⢿⣷⣦⣌⡙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠃⡼ ⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣦⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠊⣴

ascii art

April 2021

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.

March 2021

[Copypasta] I'm epic gamer style

Mayor of Canadaland

Stream snipers

Hearthstone

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

haHAA emote

The Tomato Town Incident

Fortnite

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