[Copypasta] Hey mods, slow mode doesn't affect me

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).

twitch chat

June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

Everything points to Amogus

👉🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👈🏿 👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👉🏻 ඞ 👈🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿

ascii art

March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

April 2021

Classic

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ btsLdW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ btsKotlW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ mitchW ✓ singsingFcuk ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ btsGodzW ✓ merliniHappyMerlini ✓ taymooW ✓ rtzW ✓ admiralW ✓ envySwag ✓ sumailKappa ✓ btsMerliniW ✓ wtrWtR ✓ dagerDendi ✓ ppdSalt ✓ fearGASM ✓ singsingP ✓ fluffyW ✓ ratW ✓ Pleb test passed

twitch chat

April 2016

[Copypasta] Hey mods, slow mode doesn't affect me

MODS

Classic

Classic

MODS

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

Classic

WallStreetBets

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

Classic

Hearthstone

Everything points to Amogus

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

In Korea, heart surgeon

Classic

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

Classic

[Copypasta] Hey mods, slow mode doesn't affect me

MODS

Classic

Classic

MODS

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

Classic

WallStreetBets

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

Classic

Hearthstone

Everything points to Amogus

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

In Korea, heart surgeon

Classic

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

Classic

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