[Copypasta] Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kirby with gun

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
October 2018

Squid game has ruined my life

Squid Game has ruined my life. I canโ€™t look at a PS4 controller without bursting out in laughter because it remind me of the guards. The electrical room from among us already ruined my fucking life and now the signs on it gives me a fucking heart attack because squid game. Shape toys? THE FUCKING GUARD SIGNS AGAIN! Pineapple guy is player #001? Wtf. The neutral emoji I canโ€™t even look at it it turns into player #456 in my sleep. Nikocado Avocado has a square sign on his chest I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS A SQUARE GUARD WTF!!! I canโ€™t even eat doritos because of squid game. I canโ€™t even play fucking splatoon because of that horrible squid game. The ๐ŸŒ emoji just fucking turns into the doll from the first game and I canโ€™t make it stop. I wanna fucking kill myself my life is fucking ruined
October 2021

Squid Game

George Orwell ruined my life

Iโ€™m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was โ€œsexually harassingโ€ her. Itโ€™s clear she just wasnโ€™t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. Iโ€™ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how Iโ€™m clearly in the right everyone seems to think Iโ€™m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

Doot diddity donger cuckerino

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob ๐““๐“ธ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ฐ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ฌ๐“พ๐“ฌ๐“ด๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ธ CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie

Infinite Cum

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. Itโ€™s been three minutes. You canโ€™t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. Itโ€™s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a birdโ€™s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the โ€œCummet.โ€ You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
June 2021

Infinite Cum

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing