[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018

Team Bull vs Team Bear

Team Bull Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi Donny "Stop the count" Mango Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen Lisa "Su Bae" Su Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen ------------------------------------------------------------------------ VS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Bear Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet Which team will win? Team Bull or Team Bear? Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Special Guests: That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18 Life savings SPCE calls guy Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Amazed Face

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄ ░▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄░░█▄ ░▀▀▀▀▀███▄░░░░░░░▄███▀▀▀▀░░░█▄ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░▄▀▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▀▄░░░░█ █▄████▄░▀▄░░░░░░▄█░▄████▄▀▄░░█▄ ████▀▀██░▀▄░░░░▄▀▄██▀█▄▄█░█▄░░█ ██▀██████░█░░░░█░████▀█▀██░█░░█ ████▀▄▀█▀░█░░░░█░█████▄██▀▄▀░░█ ███████▀░█░░░░░░█░█████▀░▄▀░░░█ ░▀▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░█ ░░░▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░▄▄███████▄▄░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░█████████████░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░▀█████████▀░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀
August 2018

Haha Jonathan, You Are Banging My Daughter

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠾⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠤⣬⣽⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⢀⣽⣦⡎⠁⠒⠒⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣧⡀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣧⣦⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣠⣴⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣄⢺⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠄⡀⠄⣸⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡆⠄⣀⣛⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⠽⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2021

HandsUp

⣿⣻⢹⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⡏⡿ ⡏⠋⠘⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣸⣝⣯⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠃⢳ ⡇⠀⠀⢘⣱⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠾⣻⣿⠏⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡛⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠊⠉⢡⣠⣶⣶⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠀⣾ ⣿⠁⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⢁⡾⠿⢿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠟⢻⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⠶⢿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡂⠈⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing