[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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OkaygeBusiness (fits twitch chat)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⡕⠉⢠⣄⠈⠙⠁⢰⠄⠀⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⡅⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⢀⠘⠛⣀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⠴⠶⣤⡀⢶⣦⣿⣦⣤⣀⣤⠴⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠐⢶⣈⠛⠦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⠖⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠉⠓⠶⠤⢤⣬⣭⡭⠭⠭⠷⠖⣒⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠶⠶⠦⠤⠶⣶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣼⣿⡁⠀⢹⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⡠⠋⡉⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢩⡍⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠓⣆⠀⠉⢉⣿⡿⠉⢶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢧⣾⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⢃⡘⠳⣄⣀⣀⠔⠻⣀⠛⠒⣶⣯⠛⢷⣤⡈⣷⠂⢀⡟⢁⠼⠟⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⠚⠓⠒⠒⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣾⣷⣮⣴⠗⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
October 2021

Pepe

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon."

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a 1k MMR feeder who studies dragons, I am telling you, specifically, in dota, no one calls wyverns dragons. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "dragon family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Varanidae, which includes things from wyverns to eldwurms to drakes. So your reasoning for calling a wyvern a dragon is because random people "call the flying lizards dragons?" Let's get gyarados and charizards in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a noob or a feeder? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A wyvern is a wyvern and a member of the dragon family. But that's not what you said. You said a wyvern is a dragon, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the dragon family dragons, which means you'd call eldwurms, drakes, and other flying lizards dragons, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
January 2021

Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you shut the fuck up for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that little card game tournament. Peace out, squirt
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019

Sneakily squeak until light of dawn

twitchquotes: When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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