[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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One condition: let me touch the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripparian, I see you have less viewers than your sexual partner, Reynad. I can guarantee you 5,000 viewers, bringing your count above his. There is but one condition - you must come to my home and let me touch the Kripparian. No copy pasterino dongerino kappacino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Fortnite default dance 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⣉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠉⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿ ⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⣿⣶ ⣤⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠉⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠒⠛⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠉⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⠀⠛⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠉
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Please confirm Kappa is working

twitchquotes: This is an automated message from Twitch TV. We have been experiencing technical difficulties related to the Kappa face. Please confirm that your Kappa face is working properly.
twitch chat
March 2014
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