[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have: 10% LUCK 20% SKLZ 15% CPW 5% PLTR 50% PAIN and 100% R.TO (RTN) is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
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twitchquotes: hello cute pie, my name is macaroni struthers and i am here to enlighten you about the dangers of a drug called "mary wanna." it is a very dangerous drug that can kill your life! so be careful please and do not consume it :)
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imaqtpie

Someone just posted that same paragraph...

twitchquotes: This is going to sound crazy, but someone posted that same paragraph just a minute ago. Here in this chat even. The odds of two people having the same paragraph-long thought is astronomical, especially in the same small website. Wow.
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

I am a silent guardian, I am the Dark Knight

twitchquotes: ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴏᴘᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴɢ's ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ "ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs". ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴡɪᴇʟᴅᴇᴅ ʜɪs sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴄʜᴇsᴛs. <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ "ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅɪᴀɴ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ".
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

DUDUDUDUDU

twitchquotes: ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~ DUDUDUDUDUDU ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~ ~ Kreygasm ~
twitch chat
February 2015
TidesOfTime
Text-to-Speech Playing