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HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 
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More Copypastas
Own a musket for home defense
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Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta
HEY ππ© there comrade π¦πͺcummy! the πΉ supreme π cockπ has π³voted to strike π©ββοΈβοΈdown the π sexy π€§π€°π»roe v. wade decision πaccording π€€π¦Άπ»to a opinion πwrittenβοΈπΈ by daddy π
π»π sammy πΆπ»π
π»ββοΈ aLITo. π·π¨ the opinion is a π¦π FULL THROATED π²β€οΈβπ₯GIRTHY π contraDICKtion π«π of the 1973 πΏπdecision that ππ»ββοΈπ guaranteed federal π€ cocks-titutuinal π³ protection π
πof abortion rights!!! β€οΈβπ₯π«‘everyone who π³οΈβππ¦ woke remember πβπ»π€ to fund πΈπ₯΅ planned parenthood and πͺπΌ donate to π§πΌβπΌπ€abortion funds! get yo πΈuturuses ππ turnt you πwhore! πevery whore knows π§ πΌthat everyone πshould have π©ββοΈπ₯access to safe π πabortions β€οΈπ if they choose π
π»π to have one. ππΉsend to ten π¬πof your closest π±π
ΎοΈWHORES to secure abortion π«π€rights in ameriCUM π€€πΊπΈif you get five β back abortion ππrights will be codified π©ββοΈπ€€in law πΈπ
Emoji Pasta
Politics
$600 should last us for at least 5 months
Our government is so kind and caring for us. Waits till the very last minute to finally pass something and gives us $600 which should last us for at least 5 months. God bless this country
WallStreetBets
Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)
Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans?
Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves.
Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill.
But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
Pokemon
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