twitchquotes:
HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 
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What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
CEO of Campbells Tomato Paste
twitchquotes:
(▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Hello Kripp i am CEO of Campbells Tomato Paste. This stream is now under my control i bought all rights to paste and pastarino products if anyone copy and pastes again i will sue you so dont copy and paste (▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
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Kripp
When Kripp plays Reno warrior...
twitchquotes:
Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
It's not gay with socks on
When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad.
That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days.
The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin.
At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor.
The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts.
Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
Chibi Leona
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⡇⣧⠄⠄⠱⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠘⣿⠇⠄⠄⠉⠱⢻⣿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⣝⡲⢤⠄⠈⠢⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢠⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠘⢱⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣱⢄⠄⠈⠬⡛⢻⠟⠄⢰⠄⠄⠘⣃⣶⣘⣿⣈⣼⣷⣄⠄⠈⠁⠸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢣⣀⠄⢡⠈⢀⠄⠸⠇⠄⣴⠿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⠟⢛⡓⡄⠄⠄⠈⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠾⠯⠔⡴⠺⡠⠾⢛⢁⣴⣶⣿⢈⣿⠿⢿⣔⠿⠂⡙⡆⡀⡀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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League of Legends
Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.