[Copypasta] I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I work hours and hours on those copypastas

twitchquotes: That's just great...really..i expected more from a "friend" of mine. You know, i work hours, and hours on those copypastas. I gave in all, really. I tried to make it perfect. Why? Because i wanted to impress you. Yes you. My "friend". Or at least i tought you were one. But when im done, you just stab me in the back, and steal my creation?! Really?! I would have expected somthing like this from a random twitch viewer, but not from you. Honestly, i think it's just simply disgusting. I...I can't even find words...You know what? If this is the reaction i'm getting, i'll just stop. Yes. I'll stop, and never post a copypasta ever again! It's because of you...my "friend".
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school. Its so cool to see you streaming on Twitch. Me and Dustin really miss you. The cheerleading team is nothing without you. And remember that kiss you and I shared in the back of the bus? Those were some good times. We should definitely hook up again XOXO
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Bernie Sanders chicken nuggest

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
April 2018

2016 US Election

LULW crying

⠙⠋⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠹⣿ ⣷⠿⠛⠋⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣶⣿ ⣧⡤⠄⠀⣀⣀⣤⣬⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⠛⠲⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣋⣴⡶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠙⣿⣿ ⡟⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠉⠛⠁⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣍⡉⠿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣬⣭⣭⣥⣤⣩⣍⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠛⠋⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠛⢿⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣸
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing