[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Tides left reynad for C9

twitchquotes: ☑ “This team's salary is CRAZY!” ☑ “Reynad's contract can't win against a salary like C9's” ☑ "They NEEDED precisely those bonuses to get me to sign" ☑ “They bribed the only player that would turncoat” ☑ "They had the perfect negotiator" ☑ “There was nothing Reynad could do” ☑ “I backstabbed that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Kripp's skill and knowledge of Hearthstone is incredible

twitchquotes: Wow Kripp, your skill and knowledge of Hearthstone is truly incredible. Never before in the history of humankind has any person been as good as you are at this game, at this moment, with this deck, against this opponent. You will, you must win the game. There is nothing that can stop you now.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Is that insider trading?

If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy 🦃 Thanksgiving 🦃! Guess what 😯❓it’s that time ⏰ of year 🗓 to gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 up ⬆️ those dicks 🍆 chicks 🐥 and bicks 🤨 (big dicks) 🍆😫😫😫😫 I bet 😏 you’re all 😤😤😤 HORNY-copia 🌽 🥔🥕🌶🍆♋️👀👉👌 for SKANKS-giving 🤪😔🤤🤤😃😁😁 you’ll be saying 💬 thanks 🙏 for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK 🥳🥳🥳🥳 send this to 🔟 of your thiccest sluts with those hot 🥵 hot 🔥 tasty 🤤😋 peach pies 🥧 🍑 😏😏 if you know 🤔 what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹‍♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩‍👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

PepegaPls

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠤⣄⠛⠉⢙⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢉⣩⣭⣉⡶⡏⣠⣴⡖⠦⣝⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠐⢾⣿⣿⠋⠙⢿⣆⣿⣿⡇⠠⠌⣧⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢸⣿⡏⠀⠇⣼⡿⠸⠿⠿⠶⠒⣋⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠹⡏⠀⠀⢀⣊⣉⠀⠀⠀⢰⣀⠘⢄⡙⠛⢖⣛⡋⠐⠳⢬⡭⠽⠛⠉⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⣿⢭⡙⢷⣄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⡀⢠⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⡛⣓⡩⠽⣛⡶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣄⣐⣖⡉⡅⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢶⣭⣗⣂⠍⠛⠛⠛⢛⣫⣤⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠀⠀⡉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠁⢰⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

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