[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Addicted to copy pasta

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. You got me addicted to copy pasta you sick ***. I was 19 and on my way to my dream job when you first gave me a hit of this junk. Now I'm cappucino dongeringos in back-alleys just for another copy pasta. I'm chasing that first high and I'm scared I'll rip in pepperinos soon if I don't find help. Pls no crop a dingo pace the rhino my story.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020

Un'Goro volcano board copypasta

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 🥁 🍀 🐢 🍀 ☘ = 🌋
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

REVERSE BIG BANG

twitchquotes: ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ UNFOLLOW UNSUB UNDONATE UNBORN FORMAT:C DELETE SYSTEM32 CRAWL BACK INTO MOTHER REVERSE BIG BANG ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ riot ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

Text-to-Speech Playing