[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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Plants Vs Zombies Review

This game much bad! My son saw this game and told me,"daddy this game i much want, buy for me please." So I buy it for him. But little later, he come to me and say, "daddy this game much scary." I look at it and it say "Zombies eat your brains!!!" And to me was shock. How can this game be for kids? This game has plants, violins and zombies eat your vegetables! Zombies eat no vegetable, my son eat vegetable! Now my son is in hospital and taking pills for his shock. Thanking you for nothing EA games. I rate this gate 16 and over! You have being warninged!
April 2022

48 year man from Somalia, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: HELLO AM 48 YEAR MAN FROM SOMALIA. SORRY FOR BAD ENGLAND. I SELLED MY WIFE FOR INTERNET CONNECTION FOR PLAY "hearth stone" AND I WANT TO BECOME THE GOODEST PLAYER LIKE YOU I PLAY WITH 400 PING ON BRAZIL SERVER AND I AM RANK 23 ALREADY PLS NO COPY PASTE MY STORY
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Hearthstone

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985

Reddit Wholesome award

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢤⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⡶⢦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠖⠻⣶⠞⢧⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠛⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠨⣧⠄ ⢸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⠸⡇ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡇⠄⢀⡘⢣⣿ ⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣄⠄⠄⠦⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⠿⣶⣦⣴⠟⢹ ⢿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠜⠁⠄⣾ ⠈⢧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠇ ⠄⠈⠑⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⡴⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠂⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⡶⠶⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

Can I get my dick sucked by a tornado?

If you get pulled by a tornado, would the intense winds and stuff on your cock make you cum? And what would happen if that cum get thrown on something like a public park or near a school? Would you get registered if they found out it's your cum?
February 2021
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