[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Imaqtpie, where are you listening to this VILE music?!

twitchquotes: QT have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that. I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Michael 'imaqtpie' Santana.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Danksteed of Infinite Value

twitchquotes: 🐎 If you see this horse while scrolling the chat you have been visited by the danksteed of infinite value. Good trades and prosperity will come to you but only if you copy pasterino this in chat 🐎
twitch chat
September 2015

Hearthstone

NOT ANOTHER CHILDREN'S CARD GAME

twitchquotes: Kripp sighs sitting at the dinner table. “I have to play hearthstone again, FUCK!” Rania consoles him, “It’s okay sweetheart. I love you.” Kripp responds in tears “I have been having fun playing POE but I only got 6k viewers last night, how will we eat if I don’t play that goddamned Hearthstone for these morons!” Rania wraps her arms around Kripp’s neck, “It’s okay baby, it’ll be different, when Artifact comes out!” Kripp lets out a scream, “NOT ANOTHER FUCKING CHILDREN’S CARD GAME!”
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Artifact

Albanian virus

twitchquotes: Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

Story about the Romanian Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Here's the story about the Romanian Kripparrian. Born to a Momarrian and Paparrian. Lived in Canadarrian for some timerrian but is engaged to a womanarrian in Greecerrian. Rainarrian has absorbed Kripparrian and will one day make many babyarrians. Kripparrian and the familyarrian lived happy ever afterarrian. Please no copy pasterrian.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing