[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Entire screen goes gray ever 30 seconds

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Whale and bee wrestling

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡴⠊⠉⠁⠄⡱⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⢩⢽⡝⠒⠒⡩⢍⣍⠉⠁⠄⢄⣸⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠟⠚⠋⠄⠄⠄⠣⠻⠟⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣆⠄ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠢⡀⠄⠄⢧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄ ⠄⠉⠑⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⠄⠄⠻⡛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⣲⠒⢦⣀⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣱⣄⣠⠴⠚⢭⡙⠉⠙⠲⣼⡷⠤⠤⣤⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⣇⠄⠸⡇ ⠄⠄⢎⢰⣿⠈⠄⠘⢄⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⣇ ⠄⢀⠎⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⠄⢨⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡇ ⠄⢜⢀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣾⣿⠇⢀⣼⣿⡿⠄⠈⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⡏ ⠄⠘⠢⢄⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠚⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠦⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⡿⠉⠄⠄⣠⠾⢋⡼⠃ ⠄⠔⠂⠈⠙⢲⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⡡⠤⠶⡋⠁⠄⢸⡇⠄ ⠎⠄⡠⠴⠒⠼⣿⣽⣯⣶⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣶⡇⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣧⡀⠄⠸⡇⠄ ⣀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡎⠄⠄⡰⠠⡙⢦⣀⢧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⢸⠁⠄⠊⠄⣀⠇⠄⠉⠛
March 2021

Teamfight Tactics

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

WTF IS GIGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect seven letter emote for a mega-sized british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the MEGALUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could MEGALUL at the LUL fags but now GIGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

4 streamers lived in harmony until the Trump nation attacked

twitchquotes: Kripp, Trump, Kolento, and Hafu. The 4 streamers lived in harmony then everything changed when the Trump nation attacked. Only, Kripp master of all the OJ, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he bmed.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing