Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner
twitchquotes:
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me 
twitch chat
Weebs
KFC
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣭⣥⣭⣭⣍⡉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠠⠶⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⢀⡴⢊⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠙⡟⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿
⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠰⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⢋⢉⠍⢩⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿
⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠁⣑⣬⣤⡀⣾⣦⣶⣾⣖⣼⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿
⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⠟⠰⠻⠿⣣⡙⠿⣿⠋⠄⢀⡀⣀⠄⣀⣀⢀⣀⣀⢸
⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠄⠚⠛⠉⠭⣉⢁⣿⠄⢀⡿⢾⣅⢸⡗⠂⢿⣀⡀⢸
⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⣄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣾⠟⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⢸⡄⠄⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⣼
⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡸⣿⠒⠄⠈⠛⠄⠁⢹⡟⣾⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⣠⣴⣦⠄⠄⢸⣷⡹⣧⣖⡔⠄⠱⣮⣻⣷⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠚⠛⠁⠂⠄⠉⠉⡅⢰⡆⢰⡄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⣷⠘⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣀⣀⣹⣦⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
why are you gay
"why are you gay"
i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!
twitchquotes:
Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I'm meeting a girl (a real one)
Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)