[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously

twitchquotes: Dear Twitch Chat users. Do u think its funny to copy pasta everything you see? Copy that, pasta that. Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously, and when i come here my mind explodes. Please, respect copy pasta. For me, it's about religion.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

Supreme

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April 2020

Discord logo v2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠁⢤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

Discord

Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
twitch chat
January 2020

League of Legends

No name calling

I just had a conversation w a 🐂 that didnt resort to name calling... We just spoke our peace and wished ourselves good luck and now i dint know what to do with myself. I think im going to go back and call him a bitch.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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