[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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YoDa

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣴⠈⠉⠁⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠁⠉⢿⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡀⠀⠑⡀⠘⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡀⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⡿⠛⠉⠛⠿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢠⣦⠀⡉⣑⣤⣿⣇⢀⠛⣠⢀⣆⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⣤⠠⣤⠤⣠⣿⠏⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠹⣿⣶⣶⣶⣴⠟⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠅⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
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YoDa

Fiddle this, Fiddle that...

twitchquotes: Fiddle this, Fiddle that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
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imaqtpie

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Pasta definition

twitchquotes: Pasta (Italian pronunciation: [ˈpasta]) is a staple food[1] of traditional Italian cuisine, with the first reference dating to 1154 in Sicily.[2] It is also commonly used to refer to the variety of pasta dishes. Typically, pasta is a noodle made from an unleavened dough of a durum wheat flour mixed with water or eggs and formed into sheets or various shapes, then cooked by boiling or baking.
twitch chat
December 2016

I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

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May 2019

I have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
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July 2020
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