[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

EU article 13 comment is hidden

twitchquotes: [Comment will be visible after copyright review.]
twitch chat
March 2019

John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body

I get a feeling that John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body. He has a lot of discipline, he was the most hardworking WWE wrestler during his time at the WWE, always coming early and putting in the work. He is extremely wise beyond his years. When confronted with a stalker, he gave the guy life lessions. He is extremely patient and show the same restraint an Asian person has. I don't know if he read a lot of Art of War or Eastern philosophy when he was younger. He learning Chinese and playing piano shows me that he is very discipline and very eager about self improving. He is a millionaire and is famous, but yet, he still wants to improve. Interestingly enough, he didn't marry some hot female despite Nikki Bella expecting a proposal. He started dating and actually married Shay Shariatzadeh not long after meeting her. John Cena wanted a smart girl, and Shay had a career and wasn't just hot. So there are many examples that John Cena surprise me as a person. Not many white people can legit speak Mandarin for that long after learning it for a short period of time. His pronunciation isn't the best, but he has ways with his words and his mind is sharp. No wonder he is so successful.
June 2021

Yassuo ditches Trick2g

twitchquotes: Hey, Yassuo! Big fan of the stream, I can't believe you're not playing Yasuo as much anymore...RIP. I guess that's what happens when Yasuo gets gutted, lol. Anyways, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco. I just have a question about the skill build: Should I max Backstab like you backstabbed Trick, Deceive like you deceived Trick, or Hallucinate like you made Trick hallucinate about being able to play at Twitch Rivals with his friends?
twitch chat
November 2019
Yassuo

League of Legends

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 12

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠖⠚⢉⣩⣭⡭⠛⠓⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⢀⡴⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠁⣠⠋⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣹⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠃⢀⣇⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡑⢄⡀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⢻⡟⡻⢶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠟⡳⢿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⣸⠀⢸⠃⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠈⣿⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⡏⠀⣼⠀⢳⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣀⣀⠔⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀ ⠀⢸⠃⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢶⡇⠀⠀⢰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀ ⢰⠇⡄⠀⠀⠀⡿⢣⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⡞⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀ ⣸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠤⠶⠶⠾⠤⠄⢸⠀⡀⠸⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀ ⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⡀⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡌⣵⡀⢳⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀ ⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠮⢧⣀⣻⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧ ⣇⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡎⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⢻⠀⠈⠰⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠘⢮⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⡆⠀⠀⠇⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣄⡀⢢⡀
April 2020

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing