[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

wake up this is all a dream

twitchquotes: wake up thijs PepeHands this is all a dream, but we don't have enough money to keep you living through your coma PepeHands we tried everything, if you don't wake up in a week we'll have to unplug you. PepeHands we love you PepeHands
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say “OH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say “see you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter “u” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say “OH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

DrDisrespect zoomed in

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⣻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠀⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠛⠻⡃⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾ ⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⠃⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⡀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⢸ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠉⠙⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⡏⠻⠰⠂⢴⠖⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠐⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⡿⡿⠿⢿⠿⠿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡄⠹⡟⠿⣧⠀⠀⠹⠿⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠈⡟⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⠞⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠤⢞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

Thinking of the greatest Hearthstone player

twitchquotes: Sometimes, late at night when I am under my covers, I touch my stealth donger and think of the greatest hearthstone player, the very best there ever was, then in a desperate attempt to not fap i think of Kripp, and that's it, donger is gone, i whisper "casual" and go back to sleep.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Vapogender

twitchquotes: VapeNation Vapogender: A gender that sort of feels like smoke. One can see it and understand it on a shallow level but if one tried to go deeper it disappears, and one is left with no gender and only tiny wisps of the gender one thought it was. VapeNation
twitch chat
June 2016
Sneaky

VapeNation

Text-to-Speech Playing