[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AngelThump v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠙⢿⡿⠛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⣶⣦⡈⠃⡠⡺⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠀⢠⣾⣿⣆⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢠⠸⠟⠈⠛⠛⠛⠸⠿⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣧⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠿⠟⢋⣠⣾⣿⣿⢿⣻⣇⢸⡀⠀⢸⣦⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠙ ⣀⠚⠛⠛⣽⡿⠃⠛⣠⣤⡀⠃⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⣙⣘⠛⠗⢉⣁⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣤⣁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

Hello Reynad, this is your Mother

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you are going out with this new boy. I am very concerned. I dont like that Bro-Fister Kripp and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. Whatever happened to that Tides boy? He had the nicest smile. Please copy paste this message so that my daughter can see this. -.--.-
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste?

twitchquotes: Really? Is saying "Don't copy paste this" some secret phrase for "actually copy paste this". How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste if they ask you not to. Please don't copy paste this.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparrian, this is Reginald. It has come to my attention that you went 0-3 in Hearthstone arena. This is completely unacceptable and detrimental to the image of Team Solo Mid. Remove any and all affiliation with TSM and "BayLife" or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

Text-to-Speech Playing