[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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T U C K F R U M P brofist edition

twitchquotes: โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ Hey F R U M P, here's a " T U C K " for you. โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Anime girl

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

Itโ€™s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

Itโ€™s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? Itโ€™s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022

Vandelar from the castle jousting team

twitchquotes: Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern Kreygasm
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing