Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Upside-dong
twitchquotes:
( Νo Ν‘Κ Νo) im upside-dong ( Νo Ν‘Κ Νo)
twitch chat
MushIsGosu
Time is tickling
Time is tickling β°β° SEND ππ² this π€³ to TEN (π) FESTIVE FREAKS π
πΏπ―ββοΈπΊ if u get π BACK your a π€€π STUFFED STOCKING SLORE ππ§¦πππ»ππ³ get 5οΈβ£ BACK and ur a πππ Horny Xmas Ham ππ·π€ͺπͺ΅π₯ππ but if u get 0οΈβ£ back π΅ u got a π₯ DRY Cπ
ΎοΈAL CUNT π§π΅π°ππ±π₯²π
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Christmas
HBoxβs tag actually has a secret meaning
twitchquotes:
fun fact: HBoxβs tag actually has a secret meaning. the Box is for his name, Boxuel. the H stands for βHjelteβ since he plays with the heart of William Peter "Leffen" Hjelte every tourney
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Dear women who post nudes on reddit.
Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.."
It's tits. It's always fucking tits.
This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something?
"I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants."
I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
The year is 2035, you buy g fuel with doge coin
The year is 2035, you enter your local 7/11 to buy yourself a g fuel before your shift in the local crypto mine. The android working the counter says they only accept doge coin. You pull out your phone, draw a stick man in less than five seconds on a yellow back ground and then sell it as an NFT. From the sell you make 6 doge coin, about 5 million dollars in old world money. You go to buy the drink only to find out that from the time you closed your phone to the time you talked to the cashier the coins had dropped in value to only 3 dollars per coin and you now owe at least 10 doge coin to the robot for the gamer fuel. You leave the store, frustrated, and drive off in your Tesla