[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Grand Dragon Jebodiah Pasterino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is the Grand Dragon of the KKK, Jebodiah Pasterino. I see you're wearing one of our signature white hoods. We at the KKK do not associate with casuals such as yourself. Please remove the hood or we will take legal action.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Leave the competition to the the competitors

twitchquotes: WHY in the FUCK do you PLEBS roll in here and think you can backseat game the GREAT [insert streamer name]. He is a god who floats in your sea of wrong on his ship of right. His plays are FLAWLESS and every loss he takes is pure, unadultared, rng, bullshit. Get your tiny minds out of here and go watch something more casual!! Leave the competition to the the competitors. [insert streamer name] god has essential work to do.
twitch chat
April 2020

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called “doctor” basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. don’t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Using a copypasta as an insult

You can't imagine how motherfucking much you humiliated yourself by using someone else's copypasta to insult me. Just shows how pathetic 12 year old you are, can't even make original insult. Now that you embarrassed yourself infront of everyone, use your fucked up brain and don't try to claim it's your original insult, cause dumbfuck, I read first 20 words and already suspected it to be copypasta, did some research and I was right. You're a motherfucking masochist who's habit is to humiliate himself infront of everyone, that is the most pathetic part. And is this what you do in every argument? Using someone's insult copy pasta because you can't come up with original insult and then, if they find out it's copypasta, you use another copypasta which "says" copypastas are stupid. Damn I was right about you being fucked up 12 year old.
February 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing