Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
TWITCH RAIN
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ ββοΎ. * ο½₯ ｑοΎβοΎ. * TWITCH RAINοΎ ο½‘οΎβ. * ο½₯ ｑοΎββ ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
twitch chat
Ben Shapiro asks a girl out to prom
Ok, so l-let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, that, perhaps, I, Ben, was to ask you, Stacy, to the prom, right now. Now let me ask you, in that situation, would it not be in your best interest to say yes? I mean the answer is obvious, right? Now let's suppose, that in fact, I was doing so right now, in this room. Now, hypothetically, what would your response be?
Ben Shapiro
Just seen Biden in a hotel
twitchquotes:
Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering βcount every voteβ over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
2020 US Election
I wanna troll Reynard too
twitchquotes:
How do I do the salt emote I wanna troll Reynard too
twitch chat
Reynad
Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.