[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Master the donger

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
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October 2014
imaqtpie

Blushing anime girl (ahegao)

⣿⣯⣿⣟⣟⡼⣿⡼⡿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠽⡟⢋⣿⣿⠘⣼⣷⡟⠻⡿⣷⡼⣝⡿⡾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣵⡇⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⡇⣴⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡇⠀⢣⣿⣷⣀⡏⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠁⠀⠛⠛⠋⠀⠂⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠉⠁⠀⠘⠛⠛⠛⠃⢸⣯ ⣿⡇⠀⣄⣀⣀⣈⣁⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠎⠈⠀⣀⣁⣀⣀⡠⠈⠉ ⣿⣯⣽⡿⢟⡿⠿⠛⠛⠿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢠⣴⣾⠛⠛⠿⠻⠛⠿⣷⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⣶⣿⣫⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠰⣿⠿⠾⣿⡇⠀⠀⢺⣿ ⣿⣿⠻⡀⠀⠀⠙⠏⠒⡻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡓⢚⠟⠁⠀⠀⡾⢫ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⡈⣉⡀⡠⣐⣅⣽⣺⣿⣯⡡⣴⣴⣔⣠⣀⣀⡀⢀⡀⡀⠀⣸ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⢾⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⠫⡾⠟⠫⢾⠯⡻⢟⡽⢶⢿⣿⣿⡛⠕⠎⠻⠝⠪⢖⠝⠟⢫⠾⠜⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⣀⣈⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣐⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡿⣿⣿⢽⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⢅⣙⣙⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣅⠀⠓⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2020

Weebs

NSFW

I hope Yuumi wins

twitchquotes: I hope Yuumi wins. I am a Yuumi main. I love cats, and my parents tell me I'm a parasite, so we have a lot in common. Yuumi might not be able to flash, but it lights up my life and heart. Go Yuumi!!!!!!
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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