[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

amogus is NOT funny

Oh so you said "AMOGUS". you think that's funny? well listen here you idiot, amogus is not funny. there is nothing funny about saying amogus. it just shows how braindead you are that a single misspelled word is what constitutes as humor for you. it is so dumb how you think that replying amogus to me makes you some sort of comedic genius. among us, is a DEAD game, and amogus is a STUPID meme. nobody cares about amogus, so stop sending stupid copypastas or making amogus jokes. you dont look funny, you look like an idiot, and dont make this into some stupid ironic copypasta ok?
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

Leifman the Salt King can save the world

twitchquotes: A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Salt king, a moderator named Leifman. And although his moderating skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save any chat. But I believe Leifman can save the world.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Ratge

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July 2021

Attention Twitch Chat. Kappa IS BEING REMOVED

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ATTENTION TWITCH CHAT. Kappa IS BEING REMOVED BY NAZI ADMINS. PLEASE SPAM Kappa SO THEY DO NOT REMOVE THE EMOTE. ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing