[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

Obama

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April 2021

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chibi Vayne

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠭⣭⠻⠟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠁⠨⢰⠤⡐⡘⡙⠻⠟⠛⠻⡿⣷⣜⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣨⣤⣥⣦⣦⣤⡂⠱⡞⢸⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⡇⠂⠄⡀⠄⣕⣵⢿⣿⢿⣿⣟⣿⣝⡆⠁⠨⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⢁⠄⠤⠁⠉⢫⠮⡻⡿⠿⡓⠑⠩⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢉⣶⣿⣿⢁⡢⠑⢅⠄⠐⠈⠄⣬⣾⣳⣄⢂⠠⡠⢹⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⣄⣦⣾⡿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠌⠢⡫⡪⡾⣽⢿⣺⣯⣻⣯⢯⣫⣿⣿⢞⢾⢜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣮⣿⣖⢀⠄⠈⠎⠝⠹⡹⡳⡋⡓⠽⣑⢺⣻⡏⣽⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠁⣿⡷⠆⡐⠐⡐⡀⣲⢳⠨⡚⢞⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡥⣼⢝⡠⣥⣦⣔⢆⡩⡼⣤⢵⣮⢸⡪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡈⡁⠠⣿⣿⣿⣐⠈⠊⡊⠂⠯⠻⠁⠁⢼⣿⢰⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠌⠄⠠⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡆⡎⡔⡐⠄⠁⢈⠅⢢⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⡪⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⠂⠄⡂⠨⡈⠏⡇⢀⠄⠘⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣾⣻⣬⣮⠏⠈⠌⡂⢁⠄⠣⡣⡂⠠⠐⠄⢌⠉⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠁⠪⡢⠐⠄⡁⠠⠑⠷⣶⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⠂⡐⢰⡊⠠⢀⠡⠐⡭⡌⠄⠐⡀⠅⢐⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠠⠁⡐⡈⢴⣀⠁⠐⡈⢀⠡⠄⣳⣤⣂⣡⠈⢛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠄⠄⡀⣿⣿⣮⡄⠨⠄⠠⠁⠄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢰⣤⣟⣻⣿⡀⢁⢡⣬⣐⣀⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣤⣦⣟⣻⡟⣿⣟⣧⣔⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

Copy pasters are such idiots.

twitchquotes: Copy pasters are such idiots. Imagine being so dumb you just CTRL + C what other people write? Wasting oxygen for real. Try an original thought please.
twitch chat
March 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing