[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019

Crayon Shin Chan

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ 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September 2021

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, β€œMorbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, β€œIt’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing