[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The Bible is an amazing manga

The Bible is an amazing manga. Chapters 1-5 were written by this guy named Moses but for some reason the author changed around. Abram is definitely my favorite character although for some reason they retconned his name to be Abraham, and in some regional publications his name is Ibrahim. The best ship is Abram x Sarah. Also, they totally nailed the new testament chapter, with some great character development. I never expected Judas' betrayal either.
April 2020

Weebs

A New Toucan Has Arrived

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘Aโ–‘NEWโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘TOUCANโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘HASโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ARRIVEDโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ– โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
January 2019

Classic

Mimikyu

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโกคโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃพโฃฟโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃพโฃฟโกŸโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โขธโ ›โ ‰โขนโ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก โ „โ  โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โก˜โ €โ €โ €โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โ –โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โฃพโฃฟโฃฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โก‡โ €โ €โ €โขกโ „โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โ Šโ €โ €โ €โ €โก โ žโ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โขƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ —โ šโ ‰โ ‰โ €โ ˆโ โ €โ €โ €โข€โก”โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ ธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃดโฃถโฃ„โ ฒโกŽโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ ƒโ €โ €โข โฃคโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ ˜โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โก†โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ›โ ‰โฃดโฃ†โขนโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โฃ‡โขฐโกงโฃ‰โก‰โ €โ €โข€โก€โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃฟโกทโข โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โขปโ ˜โ ƒโ ˆโ ปโขฆโ žโ ‹โ ™โ บโ ‹โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โขกโ Ÿโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ณโข„โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ โขฒโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก†โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกฐโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฟโ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ƒ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โกžโ โ €โ €โฃพโ €โ €โฃถโ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฆโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ โ € โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โกฐโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ €โ ˆโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ ฐโฃฎโฃ‰โฃ€โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ปโฃฟโก‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ปโ ฅโ คโขคโฃถโข„โ €โข€โฃ โฃ„โ €โ €โข โฃถโฃคโฃ„โ ˆโ ‘โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ โ ˆโ ‹โ โ  โ โ €โ ˆโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
November 2020

Pokemon

Guys please be careful before posting

twitchquotes: Guys please be careful before posting, I see some messages posted multiple times by mistake this is actually very annoying and cringe, read chat first to make sure your message wasn't already posted :D
twitch chat
February 2020

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing