[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT

twitchquotes: Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT, cream, do you know what blue light is? Anybody knows what blue light is? No, not bud light. I think that's a beer brand. Talking blue light. Anyways, RFLCT is a new skin care product that protects against blue light and unwanted blue light that may be coming from your monitor. So that's my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little bottles. Stuff like that.
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October 2021

my dream is full of monkaS in chat

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 ⚠️ ATTENTION ⚠️ my dream is full of monkaS in chat, pls help me fulfill my dream monkaS ☝️
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June 2017

Kermit the frog caused 9/11

Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
February 2021

ANELE

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣻⣯⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠊⠻⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⠤⠠⠃⠄⠄⠙⠋⠁⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢴⠄⠄⢸⣧⣬⣤⣽⡆⣰⣦⢀⣳⣀⣁⣾⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⢈⣛⣛⣛⣫⡴⣿⣿⢀⣝⣛⠛⢛⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣚⠿⠿⢇⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠹⣿⠟⠛⣿⢿⣿⡌⠛⢻⡫⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠉⠄⠲⣦⣤⣤⡶⢀⡘⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠈⣦⣬⣭⣭⡤⠂⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠙⠛⠃⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

I'm gay because...

You are gay because you like men I’m gay because I hate women We are not the same
April 2022
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