[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.

twitch chat

May 2017

I sexually Identify as

Fuck minecraft

twitchquotes: Fuck minecraft. I've had it with this dumb, misleading game. Do you know how much time I've spent digging through my backyard, only to find worms and dog shit? And what the fuck is with those fucked up graphics? NEWS FLASH, the real world is not comprised of blocks but actually of hundreds of atoms, stupid Notch. In fortnite (battle royale game) trees fall down when you cut them, but it stupid minecraft they float in the sky,wtf (what the fuck), where's the immersion?

twitch chat

January 2019

EU article 13 comment is hidden

twitchquotes: [Comment will be visible after copyright review.]

twitch chat

March 2019

Head automatically goes to pillow

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Heroes of Storm，ｍｙｈｅａｄａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙｇｏｅｓｔｏｔｈｅｐｉｌｌｏｗ．Ｉｗａｔｃｈｈｉｍｓｐａｍ２ｓｋｉｌｌｓｗｉｔｈｎｏｇｒａｐｈｉｃｓａｎｄＩｆｅｅｌＩｈａｖｅｓｅｘｗｉｔｈｔｈｅｐｉｌｌｏｗ．ＡｌｌｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇＳＬＥＥＰ

twitch chat

March 2014

Kripp

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.

December 2020

[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

I sexually Identify as

Fuck minecraft

EU article 13 comment is hidden

Head automatically goes to pillow

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

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