[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA

Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you? I simply can’t fucking believe that you would make such an idiotic decision. You’re a disgusting little crawly lobotomite and you deserve to perish in a dark deep abyss where you belong. I’ve gone ahead and removed one reddit upvote from your account by “downvoting” this comment. I hope you rethink your actions in the future. Fuck you.
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Vayne? Doublelift puts the game on another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Faker breaks records. Sneaky breaks records. Doublelift breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic. And his haircut.
twitch chat
December 2016
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom

twitchquotes: Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

ima firin mah lazer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣽⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢻⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿⠛⠊⠉⠛⢿⣿⣼⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⠏⢁⠈⠉⠉⠁⢀⣠⣀⡀⠀⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⢷⣶⣤⣶⠹⢇⣻⠏⠶⣄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠂⠐⠁⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣉⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⠻⣿⣷⣷⣧⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠛⠋⠉⢩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⡿⠿⣧⠸⣿ ⠋⣀⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠅⠀⠀⠀⣾⠿⠀⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣻⡫⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢻⠿⠋⣀⠴⣥⣀⣠⣤⣄⣴⣷⠭⠀⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⡿⠛⠉⣁⣠⠀⣠⣴⣿⡏⠐⢻⡻⣸⢯⣿⡽⠋⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠛⡉⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

Kripp. It's Morpheus from future talking to you

twitchquotes: Hello ĸrιpp, ιт’ѕ мorpнeυѕ ғroм ғυтυre тalĸιng тo yoυ. ι нave 2 cнoιceѕ ғor yoυ, вlυe pιll or red pιll. вlυe pιll вrιngѕ yoυ lιғe, woмen, cнιleттe, dog, caт, cнιld, caѕυalιтy and no vιewerѕ. red pιll вrιngѕ yoυ nolιғe, oj, no dιѕтracтιonѕ ғroм oυтѕιde world, pro ѕтaтυѕ and vιewerѕ. cнooѕe wιѕely мιѕтer ĸrιpperѕon.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing