[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Menacing

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠿⣫⣥⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠾⢿⢟⣵⣾⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⡇⠙⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⢩⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⡿⣫⣾⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣠⣎⣠⣴⣶⠎⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠿⠛⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠉⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022

It's EXAM WEEK

twitchquotes: It's EXAM WEEK 😤😤 and it's TIME ⏱⏱ to WHIP OUT 😯😯 your EDUCATION ERECTIONS 🎒📚🍆🍆 and FUCK THESE FINALS 🤣🤣😉😉. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL 🍑📞 your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES 😏😏 and HIT 👊👊 the BOOKS 📘📗📙till your BRAIN 🧠🧠 is RUBBED RAW 😫😫 and your PEN 🖊🖊is DRY 😵😵. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE 💦💦 and do this THING 🙌🙌. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST 🤤🤤 SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! 😱😱
twitch chat
December 2019

Emoji Pasta

FeelsGoodMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠔⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⢼⡤⠔⠒⠀⠐⠒⠢⠌⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣒⠶⠤⠭⠭⢝⡢⣄⢤⣄⣒⡶⠶⣶⣢⡝⢿⣿ ⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠲⠮⢕⣽⠖⢩⠉⠙⣷⣶⣮⡍⢉⣴⠆⣭⢉⠑⣶⣮⣅⢻ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠒⠻⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⡿⠫⣿⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⠭⣥⣀⣉⡩⡥⠴⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠁⣴⣾⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠓⠲⡤⠤⠖⠐⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡻⢷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣽⣽⣛⣟⣻⠷⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⠾⠟⣯⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority

twitchquotes: Dear 👋 Twitch Partners 🤝 , Our 👉 community members 👪 are always ☑️ our priority 🛑. We received 📥 some reports ❗ describing ⌨️ the discomfort ☹️ some of our members 🗣️ felt after a Twitch Rivals 🤼 participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," 😶 both emotes are often ⏲️ used in toxic 💀 contexts. Please 🙏 refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead 👍. Best regards 👋, Twitch Team 💌
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November 2021
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