Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
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Pleb
twitchquotes:
βPlebβ is a shorthand for the English noun βplebeian,β an outdated term which originally referred to a commoner belonging to a lower socioeconomic class in ancient Rome. Online, the term has been often used as a pejorative label for someone who is considered unsophisticated or uncultured, or a person that can be compared as poor to the speaker.
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Trump
You are NOT a closer
It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
ludwig
Super Smash Bros
IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER!
twitchquotes:
IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER! ββ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ββββββββ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ββββββββββββ]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... βββββββββββββββββ] 99% complete..... π«ERROR!π« π―Trueπ― Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable βͺI could never delete you Brother!π Send this to ten other πͺMujahideenπͺ who would give their lives for ο·²Allahο·² Or never get called βοΈBrotherβοΈ again If you get 0 Back: Juhanam for you π«β β‘π« 3 back: you're off the martyr listβοΈπ¦ 5 back: you have pleased Allah greatlyβͺπ¦ 10+ back: JANAHο·²!ο·²!ππβͺπ
π
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HELLO
twitchquotes:
αββαββα HELLO HELLO HELLO αββαββα
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strifecro
YOU. ME. GAS STATION.
What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.