Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
A response to Elon Musk's tweets
IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER!
twitchquotes:
IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER! ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ████████████]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... █████████████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable ☪I could never delete you Brother!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Mujahideen👪 who would give their lives for ﷲAllahﷲ Or never get called ☁️Brother☁️ again If you get 0 Back: Juhanam for you 🚫†✡🚫 3 back: you're off the martyr list☁️💦 5 back: you have pleased Allah greatly☪💦 10+ back: JANAHﷲ!ﷲ!💕💕☪👅👅
twitch chat
Greetings r/atheism
Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.
That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!
Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.
Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
I Am Very Smart
Quibi is shutting down
twitchquotes:
Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go?
As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city?
What’s the point?
I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
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Sloth
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