[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
June 2019

PepegaEZ

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠤⠄⠄⣶⣶⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⠝⠻⢯⣥⣶⣶⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⠶⣚⣓⣒⠌⢛⡵⢋⣵⠶⢦⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢒⣉⣑⠢⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢩⣾⣿⡿⠛⢿⣮⠱⣿⣿⠠⡄⠹⡄⠠⠤ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣯⣶⣿⣿⣦⣙⠿⠿⠿⠆⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣏⣭⣭⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠼⣅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠ ⠺⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⡿⢿⣷⣮⡻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣵⣿⣿⣿⣮⣻⡿⠶⣚⠔⠄ ⠄⠈⠻⣿⢸⣿⡕⣷⣬⡻⢿⣷⣬⣛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣫⣥⠶⠛⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠻⢿⣮⡉⠉⠓⠶⣮⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⣰⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠒⠠⣄⣉⣙⣛⣛⣋⣁⣠⠤⠴⠖⢟⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣭⣭⠵⠶⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⠑⠢⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣷⣶⠶⣫⣼⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠋⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing