[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Guys this is not a C9

twitchquotes: Guys this is not a C9. They purposefully left the point knowing they wouldn't be able to win the fight. They simply left it to save their strength for the next round, as expected from a top tier team
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

This guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!” ☑ “My appendix can't win against an appendicitis like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely that appendicitis to win" ☑ “He topdecked the only appendicitis that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect infection" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Leper Gnome guns

twitchquotes: fuckin reymad m8, why do you look like you're 15 years old? You even old enough to drive there m8? I used to remember back in the old day your dad would yell at you on stream. I miss those days. Somebody needs to smash your face m8 all you do is play hearthstone all day. You obviously don't lift with those leper gnome guns you got there.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Batman Amogus Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠻⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⣿⡻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠱⠆⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣼⣽⣯⣻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠏⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣷⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠈⠳⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠴⠞⣿⣿⡿ ⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⠃ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣉⡉⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣩⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣮⣹⢧⣿⣿⣿⡃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠁⠉⢉⣹⡏⠉⠉⠉⡙⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠉⣹⣿⣌⣩⣿⡏⠉⣽⠝⢻⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⢀⡀⠀⣿⡿⠷⠶⠶⠶⣶⠟⠉⢉⢉⠙⠙⠻⣾⣦⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠙⢻⡇⠀⠶⠤⡏⡇⠀⢤⠀⠀⣯⠠⠄⢈⣉⣁⣀⠷⢸⡏⠉⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠁⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣶⣾⣷⣶⣿⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣿⣤⣬⣤⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing