[Copypasta] So you call these things "chips"?

So you call these things "chips"? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n pop westpoolchestershireshire queen's lovely jubily delights? That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruv
December 2020
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Hi Kripp, Google again here

twitchquotes: Kripp, Google again here. We've noticed that you've been away from Twitch for at least 2 minutes in the past. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still the merchandise? We're serious about raising the price if it's a problem to you. We just want you to have fun, and to of course buy more Twitch merchandise. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you (mostly us) much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbots

Hippo

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November 2014

Fall Guys

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August 2020

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
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