the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Man i love bull markets
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
WallStreetBets
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐๐๐
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeโs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out ๐๐๐
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโs boyfriend.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon
Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon.
โจ
.-' `'.
โจ / \ . โ๏ธ โ๏ธ
| ;
โจ | | ___.--,
_.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. โจ
__.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""`
( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __
_`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . โ๏ธ
`---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.'
| | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` โจ
\ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) โจ
โจ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-.
jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\
, _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . โ๏ธ
`--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | (
(/` ( (` ) ) '-;
` '-; (-' โจ โจ
โจ
โ๏ธ
๐ <--- BULLS โจ โ๏ธ
โจ
๐
โ๏ธ โ๏ธ
โ๏ธ
โจ ๐
โจ ๐
โ๏ธ
โจ โจ
WallStreetBets
Genetics is the future
I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers.
Genetics is the future.
WallStreetBets
We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.