the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Iâm a simple guy
Iâm a simple guy. I donât know about all these fancy âfinancial instrumentsâ or âmarket dynamicsâ or âwhere the clit is.â
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
WallStreetBets
I couldnât tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do
I couldnât tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iâm jacked to the mfâing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFâER.
WallStreetBets
Bears after a green day
Itâs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaâs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherâs basement, grab the keys to their tan â97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word âVOTE,â and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
WallStreetBets
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
WallStreetBets
Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election
Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.