[Copypasta] a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

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Jim Cramer responds to GameStop apes on Twitter

But you know what? I miss the good people whom i used to interact before these pathetic parodies of human minds ascended from the gates of hell. Well, now that i know they are going broke and just care about Gamestop and pump and dump schemes I will end their tyranny. NOW
September 2021

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I'm buysexual

Iโ€™m buysexual, sometimes Iโ€™m a top (when I buy) and sometimes a bottom (when I sell)
December 2020

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Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โ€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐Ÿš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wifeโ€™s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโ€™s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon

Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon. โœจ .-' `'. โœจ / \ . โ˜€๏ธ โ˜€๏ธ | ; โœจ | | ___.--, _.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. โœจ __.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""` ( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __ _`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . โ˜€๏ธ `---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.' | | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` โœจ \ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) โœจ โœจ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-. jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\ , _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . โ˜€๏ธ `--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | ( (/` ( (` ) ) '-; ` '-; (-' โœจ โœจ โœจ โ˜€๏ธ ๐Ÿš€ <--- BULLS โœจ โ˜€๏ธ โœจ ๐ŸŒ™ โ˜€๏ธ โ˜€๏ธ โ˜€๏ธ โœจ ๐ŸŒŽ โœจ ๐ŸŒ โ˜€๏ธ โœจ โœจ
December 2020

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