the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
GME to the moon
.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦ γγγγββ γ γγγΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγβγγγγγγγ β¦
γγγγγγγγγγ γ β β β β γγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγ,γγβββγ
.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎγββγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγβοΈif we holdγγ.
,γγγγγγγ.γγγγγγββββγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ
γγγγγγγγγγ. γγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββ β¦
γβββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγγββββπ gme γγγγ γγ,γγγ β β β β γ
γγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγβγγ
γγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγβγβββββββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγΛγ
ββγγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγ
βγγββββγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
γγ ββγγγγγ β¦ γγγγγγγβββββββββγββββββββγγγγ
γγβγγγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγββββγγ.
γβγγγγγ.γγγγ π γγγγγβββγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγ.γ
ΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγβγ π β β if we sell β β β β β β β ,γ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
.γγγγγβγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦
Λγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool
So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them.
Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself.
Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional.
Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
WallStreetBets
I saw JPOW at the grocery store
I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no.
He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good.
The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even"
Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on.
It was a pretty weird.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces itβs changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
WallStreetBets
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyβre trading/Iβm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donβt exactly know whatβs going on, itβs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is βtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketβ. They are βaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEβ. They acted as if GME was some βchildish financial playgroundβ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how βGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeβ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.