[Copypasta] a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
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Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. β€œWhat?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. β€œI want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, β€œI want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. β€œUh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ape rocket

πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸ΅πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž
April 2021

WallStreetBets

I challenge you to β€œTurtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to β€œTurtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the β€œdock” is crowned Turtle 🀴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

The real power of compounding

Remember, if you lose 10% a day over several days you’re actually losing less money as time passes. This is what people mean when they talk about the power of compounding
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

WallStreetBets

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