the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
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More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Not financial advise
I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
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Mitch is the type of dude who...
Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole
Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco
Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal.
Mitch the kinda guy to leave โsmile moreโ on the tip section of a receipt
Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant
Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit
Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands
Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy
Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
WallStreetBets
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp ๐
Elon TechnoCuckLord ๐ค+๐คด
Jeff Divorcedzos ๐
Salmonella ๐ Nutella ๐ซ
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman ๐คก
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya ๐
Ryan Cocken your butthole ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ณ
๐ฅ Z ๐ฅ U ๐ฅ C ๐ฅ C ๐ฅ
Tim ๐ Bottom ๐
ฑ๏ธENIS
Jack Ma MIA ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the ๐ปs' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods ๐โ๏ธ
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Drunk at Applebees
I donโt care if thereโs a microchip in the vaccine. Iโd let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
WallStreetBets
My wife told me to talk dirty to her
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said โdirtier!โ So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said โdirtier!โ So I said โIโm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iโm gonna put it in long and deep. Iโm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.โ
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weโre getting a divorce.