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75 streamers found.
83 tags found.
4745 copypastas found.

The Airport Security Test!

twitchquotes: ✅ 🏻 🏼 🏽 🏾 🏿 🚫 The Airport Security Test! Can you pass through? ⎝ 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018

Chat Test

LEGO Yoda CBT lyrics

[Verse 1] Crush my cock with a rock I must. Maximum pain I must endure. Ok, here we go. [Chorus] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
January 2021

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

POWERING UP PORTAL ONLINE

twitchquotes: <(-O-)> POWERING UP <(-O-)> PORTAL ONLINE
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

Small but dedicated scene in Antarctica

twitchquotes: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Switch to boot up when it's -135 degrees outside? Out here in Antarctica, we have a small but dedicated scene. I'm the only human among us, but we have some high level penguins as well. You mess with the waddle, you mess with all of us
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Kripp Jr

twitchquotes: The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr. "Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you!", he says topdeckingly... "Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad", Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr. begins to cry....
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Jeff Bezos could give every person 1 BILLION dollars

Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!
October 2020

hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold

twitchquotes: hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold and i loveeee fortnite! all the cool kids at my school play it, and i subbed to ninja because he told me to, and he has lots of viewers haHAA
twitch chat
July 2018
Ninja

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect. I shall take a moment to teach the people about bee excrement. Firstly, to the woe of those into both pee and bee, bees do not pee. Insects entirely lack kidneys, bladders, livers, and more. Now, to the question regarding the post, do bees fart, and if they do, is it an extremely dirty fart at that? Well, lets first discuss bee poop. bees mostly use everything when making honey, which is basically pure energy and nutrients. Bee poop is mostly undigested pollen grains and more complex sugars. A bee could poop in your ice cream, and you would be none the wiser. you might even like, it better, for reasons ranging from "culinary" to sexual. Bees are surprisingly clean creatures, and despite bee poop basically being failed candy, bees always leave the hive to poop, they do not poop inside the hive. As for the farting part, it is without a doubt that any animal could potentially have air trapped inside it, and therefore must expel it, however farting as we know it is much more than that. Regardless, a bee would not "fart", and if they did, it would be more akin to a floral perfume than a burst of sulfur and feces. also the head and legs look a bit weird, 4/10
May 2022

A baby to listen to every night

twitchquotes: I sleep with your stream on every night. I used to be married, you know? She left because she can't stand your voice. I chose you. I'll always choose you, because if I can't have kids with the love of my life, at least I'll have a baby to listen to every night. BabyRage
twitch chat
May 2020

There was a bug in the toilet

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 🧘‍♂️💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ ‼️IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 👉 IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
twitch chat
July 2020

Only three more COVID variants until Sigma

MASKS UP😷 AND TITS OUT💯👏🙌ONLY THREE MORE COVID🦠VARIANTS🤤UNTIL SIGMA ΣΣ😩 You know what that means you 🅱OOSTED💉SLUTS👅👀 It’s time to get on that COVID Grindset™ before you get 🤯infected🍆🍆🍆by the SUPERIOR😤variant‼‼ The sixth 6️⃣wave🌊👋 is CUMMING💦💦📈🅱eta males at the bottom😓👇of the corona🍺sexual🥵 hierarchy 🏆 should ☠prepare to get FUCKED🍑🍆this time⌛ by the extra👌large🤪spike👆protein mutation☢🤤😫 Send this to 1️⃣9️⃣ of your most IMMUNO⛔COMPROMISED🚫😨😨 friends💩otherwise😳there will be💀 another VERY long📏🍆LOCK🔐DOWN🙈‼‼
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

forsenpepE

⠄⣾⠟⢋⣉⣙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⣶⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⣿⣴⠟⣋⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠻⣿⣷ ⣿⠘⠋⠉⠉⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣾⣥⣶⣶⣤⣍⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠘⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⣀⣀⣚⣛⣉⣥⡴⠾⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⡋⠄⠄⣀⠉⠛⠿⢿⠟⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⠛⠿⠟⢻⣿⣡⣴⡶⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡙⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣽⣿⠟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣿⣿⣮⣭⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠏⣁⣀⢔⠿⠋⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⣰⣟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⠞⣉⣁⣉⣁⣈⡀⠘⠛⠛⠉⣤⣚⣛⣙⣋⣻⣇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣼⡟⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⣀⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⢻⣀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡈⠻⢷⣤⣙⠒⠶⢤⣭⣭⣭⣭⠍⢉⣩⣾⡿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣈⡛⠻⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⣛⣉⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⠟⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠶⡶⢶⠲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

I hate the French language

I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations. I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
April 2022

Will you be my Quaran-TINE?

twitchquotes: Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
twitch chat
March 2020

Simps

Coronavirus

COVID

Hey, I noticed you were a female

Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Pakistan Official discord. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play mini games? I am a mini-game aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)
May 2021

Simps

It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing