[Copypasta] spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020
(ā–€ĢæÄ¹ĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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July 2021

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Bring us the Forsen here and now

twitchquotes: ą¼¼ ĀŗŁ„ĶŸĀŗ ą¼½ Magic forces black and white. Reaching out through space and light. A perfect man I summon now. Bring him now into the light. Be he far or be he near. Bring us the Forsen here and now. ą¼¼ ĀŗŁ„ĶŸĀŗ ą¼½
twitch chat
August 2015
Forsen

Going face was the correct play

twitchquotes: Breaking News: Popular vegan salt miner kripparian was found dead this morning after both of this meat starved dogs ate his face while he was sleeping. Officials are saying that circumstances lead them to believe that "going face was the correct play". More at 11
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Everything points to Amogus

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ»šŸ‘‡šŸ»šŸ‘‡šŸ»šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘‰šŸ» ą¶ž šŸ‘ˆšŸ»šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘†šŸ»šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ¼šŸ‘†šŸ¼šŸ‘†šŸ¼šŸ‘†šŸ¼šŸ‘†šŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘†šŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘†šŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘†šŸæšŸ‘ˆšŸæ
March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

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