[Copypasta] spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020
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Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas, and I need your help. The salinity of our oceans has reached an all-time low, and only you, with your incredible salt output, can restore them to their proper levels. The fate of countless species of fish and other marine life rests in your scrawny vegan hands. Lend me your aid and I will reveal the ancient Atlantean cure for male-pattern baldness! Aquaman out!
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
January 2018

Yes Chad (Nordic Gamer)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠂⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠷⠤⣄⠈⠛⠦⣀⠀⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠤⣘⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠓⠢⢤⣀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠓⢤⡀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⢀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠄⡀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⡶⠤⣄⡈⠳⣤⡀⠀⠙⠲⣄⡀⠈⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⡐⠀⣈⣁⣠⡀⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣷⣤⡙⢦⣤⣍⣓⣦⣰⣶⡽⣷⣶⡟⠛⠿⠿⠶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠋⠈⠉⠙⠉⠉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢦⣙⡄⠀⠉⠉⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠏⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣦⣀⣤⣶⣒⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⢀⣠⡶⠛⠉⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠚⠛⣦⠤⡤⠬⡙⠓⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢿⡉⠀⠒⠢⡄⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠆⠀⣻⣛⣂⣤⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣏⠳⣽⣤⡴⠦⡌⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⡌⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠳⡄⢸⡇⠀⢀⠇⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣴⡋⠹⣗⡙⠻⡇⠀⠈⣰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢿⠀⠹⢦⡀⢨⡁⣇⢀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⣤⣤⣶⣤⣤⡨⠀⢰⠖⠒⢤⡀⡼⡇⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡏⠘⠦⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠦⠴⠖⠒⠋⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢠⡀⢨⡙⠦⢤⣸⠟⡆⢠⢻⠃⢷⠀⠀⠘⠦⠀⠀⠁⠈⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣦⣵⣄⠉⡀⠀⠈⢿⠁⢴⡾⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠚⣿⠿⠶⠶⠶⣦⠃⡴⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⠾⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣦⠀⣠⡴⠶⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⠀⣿⠉⠄⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢯⠇⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠈⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡾⢀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢀⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⢰⣏⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣄⣸⣤⣴⠋⠄⠀⡄⠈⡻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠁⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⣷⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠙⠋⠈⣷⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡀⠄⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⡀⢀⣬⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣄⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⣀⣠⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
June 2021

Saddam Hussein hiding spot

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠹⠛⠛⠋⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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July 2021
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