[Copypasta] spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers โ€œ1โ€ โ€œ9โ€ โ€œ8โ€ and 4โ€ on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. โ€œItโ€™s for hunting,โ€ you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. โ€œOne more thing.โ€ You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. โ€œI need to see your vaccination cardโ€ It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. โ€œDon't worry, it will all be over soonโ€ He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your โ€œsocialism is for figsโ€ shirt into your arm. โ€œNighty nightโ€ Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
twitch chat
March 2019

AMONGUS AMONGUS AMONGUS

โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿ‘ฆ SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’ž AMONG ๐Ÿ’ฐ US ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐Ÿ˜ฑ! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ AMONG ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ US ๐Ÿ‘จ IS THE BEST ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ FUCKING ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ GAME ๐ŸŽฎ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ RED ๐Ÿ”ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ COME ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐Ÿ‘€ ME SCAN ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ WHY ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿค” IS NO โš ๐Ÿšซ ONE 1๏ธโƒฃ FIXING ๐Ÿ‘พ O2 ๐Ÿ…พ ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก OH ๐Ÿ™€ YOUR ๐Ÿ‘‰ CREWMATE? NAME ๐Ÿ“› EVERY ๐Ÿ’ฏ TASK ๐Ÿ“‹ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Where Any sus!โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! Any sus!โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Where!โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Any susโ“ โ“ Any sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ Any sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ think ๐Ÿค” it was purple!๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€It wasnt me I ๐Ÿ‘ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Emoji Pasta

One hour of Trump's streaming per evening

twitchquotes: I'm not allowed to take sleep inducement medication, because of a previous addictions to psychoactive drugs. So, my doctor instead prescribed 1 hour of Trump's stream per evening. Kappa
twitch chat
March 2015
Trump

Joe from the US marines thanks Kripp for playing Diablo 2

twitchquotes: Kripp! This is Joe from the US marines, thank you so much for playing Diablo 2 again, whenever we need to torture a war criminal for information we just force him to watch, after a few minutes they all break in utter despair and boredom. God speed Kripp!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing