[Copypasta] no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Think of the saltwater fish

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ) Hey Kripp, Marine Biologist Gilbin Pastarino here. I come to you on behald of all the salt water creatures of the world as your body seems to have absorbed 99% of the oceans salt. Please thinkerino of the poor fisheroni. Thanks
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Hey Arnold!

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
September 2021

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

KFC

โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโขŸโฃ‹โฃญโฃฅโฃญโฃญโฃโก‰โ ‰โ ™โ ›โ ปโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ  โ ถโ ›โ ปโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโ „โข€โกดโขŠโฃดโฃถโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฟโก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ™โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ โ „โ ™โกŸโ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŽโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโขปโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโกŸโ „โ „โ „โ „โก‡โ ฐโ Ÿโ ›โ ›โ ฟโ ฟโ Ÿโข‹โข‰โ โขฉโฃ โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขนโฃฟ โฃฟโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ฐโ โฃ‘โฃฌโฃคโก€โฃพโฃฆโฃถโฃพโฃ–โฃผโฃฟโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฟ โกโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ จโฃฟโ Ÿโ ฐโ ปโ ฟโฃฃโก™โ ฟโฃฟโ ‹โ „โข€โก€โฃ€โ „โฃ€โฃ€โข€โฃ€โฃ€โขธ โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โ „โ šโ ›โ ‰โ ญโฃ‰โขโฃฟโ „โข€โกฟโขพโฃ…โขธโก—โ ‚โขฟโฃ€โก€โขธ โก‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โขงโฃ„โ „โฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃพโ Ÿโฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธ โฃฟโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โก€โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโขโฃดโฃฟโขธโก„โ „โขฆโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃ„โก€โฃผ โฃฟโฃงโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โกธโฃฟโ ’โ „โ ˆโ ›โ „โ โขนโกŸโฃพโก‡โ „โ ˆโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃงโฃ โฃดโฃฆโ „โ „โขธโฃทโกนโฃงโฃ–โก”โ „โ ฑโฃฎโฃปโฃทโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ „โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ „โ „โ ธโ ฟโ ฟโ šโ ›โ โ ‚โ „โ ‰โ ‰โก…โขฐโก†โขฐโก„โ „โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโ „โฃทโ ˜โฃงโฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโฃคโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ „โฃ€โฃ€โฃนโฃฆโฃฝโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
November 2018

Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €(\__/)โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €(โ€ขใ……โ€ข)โ €โ €my gf telling the waitress โ €๏ผฟใƒŽโ €ใƒฝโ €ใƒŽโ €๏ผผ๏ผฟโ €โ €my food is wrong /โ €๏ธโ €Yโ €โŒ’๏ผนโŒ’โ €๏ผนโ €๏ธโ €๏ธใƒฝ (โ €๏ธโ €๏ธโ €๏ธ(ไธ‰ใƒฝไบบโ €โ €/โ €โ €โ €| |โ €๏ธโ €๏ธโ €๏ธ๏พ‰โ €ยฏยฏ\โ €๏ฟฃ๏ฟฃใƒฝใƒŽ ใƒฝ๏ผฟ๏ผฟ๏ผฟโ €โ €๏ผž๏ฝค๏ผฟ_๏ผ โ €โ €โ €๏ฝœโ €(โ €็Ž‹โ €)ใ€ˆโ €โ € (\__/) โ €โ €โ €/โ €โ €๏พ`โ€”โ€”ๅฝกโ €\ (โ€ขใ……โ€ข) me
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing