[Copypasta] no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017
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God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

3Head You have entered BREXIT

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง 3Head You have entered BREXIT. Type 3Head to become a citizen. โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
August 2019

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€
ascii art
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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