[Copypasta] no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers

twitchquotes: chat moving so fast no one will notice me seeking attention from strangers on the internet because my parents didn't give me any.
twitch chat
November 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Small but dedicated scene in Antarctica

twitchquotes: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Switch to boot up when it's -135 degrees outside? Out here in Antarctica, we have a small but dedicated scene. I'm the only human among us, but we have some high level penguins as well. You mess with the waddle, you mess with all of us
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

CSGO is a rip off of Valorant

How blatant can Valve be? Seriously? So instead of the spike they have something called a "bomb"? Instead of abilities they have "nades mollies and smokes". Instead of agents it's terrorists and counter-terrorists? What is this the 1970s? It's almost as if they copied but halfway through they got lazy and just released the game. Valve should be ashamed of themselves. I guess imitation is the best form of flattery, Riot is so kind to not come after Valve legally. Blatant rip off of Valorant this game is
September 2021

Valorant

CSGO

Priorities yo

twitchquotes: Kripp you obviously don't understand it's viewers that bring you money, and your job is to entertain them. Playing deathwing will decrease your chance to win by 1% but get all the viewers happy. Priorities yo.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

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