twitchquotes:
๐ According to statistics spamming MEME's makes you happy 
๐ According to statistics spamming MEME's makes you happy
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
Urgot demands playtime!
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr Rodriguez Qtpie. This is Urgot, the best ranged champion since Thresh ADC. I must confess that I find your consistant playing of other ADCs whilst neglecting me racist. Urgot demands playtime!! 
twitch chat
imaqtpie
twitch chatting requires a BIG BRAIN
twitchquotes:
If you think about it twitch chatting requires a certain level of intelligence considering the vast number of emotes, knowing which scenarios to use them, and remembering how to spell them (including capital vs lowercase letters)
twitch chat
k3soju it's a neighth
soju ponders with the idea of slamming a cav spat. Hovering his chain over his spatula while he contemplates. Suddenly, he slips - accidentally slamming the cav spat ON HIMSELF. Twitch chat watch as soju twists and morphs into a horse live on stream. He stares into the camera... "it's a neighth"
k3soju
Teamfight Tactics
Kripp's kidney stone surgery
twitchquotes:
There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
Kripp