Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
I used to be a real ad
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Suicide test!
โ Wanna buy some dongers?
twitchquotes:
เผผเบูอโโฌโดโฌโด Psstโฆ Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
twitch chat
John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS
twitchquotes:
Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
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Kripp
I'm already Tracer
twitchquotes:
โ Maybe Iโll be Tracer ๐๐จ๐ฐ๏ธ โ Iโm already Tracer ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉ โ What about Widowmaker ๐๐ท๏ธ โ Iโm already Widowmaker ๐ธ๏ธ ๐๐ฟ๐ฏIโll be Bastion ๐ค ๐ซ NออEออ RฬทอFอ ออ BASอฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอาา โฐ๏ธ ๐คท Youโre right; so, Winston ๐ต๐๐ฟ ๐ I wanna be Winston ๐ฆ ๐ก๏ธ I guess Iโll be Genji ๐ฑโ๐ค ๐ Iโm already Genji ๐ค ๐ Then Iโll be McCree ๐ค ๐ ๐ซ I already chose McCree ๐โ ๏ธ โ I have an idea ๐ โ Whatโs your idea? 
๐ You should beโ ๐๐ฆถ ๐
Iโm not gonna be Mercy โผ๏ธโจ
๐ You should beโ ๐๐ฆถ ๐
Iโm not gonna be Mercy โผ๏ธโจ
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Overwatch
Greetings r/atheism
Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.
That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!
Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.
Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???