[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming

I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming. Ever since I was young, I've dreamed of understanding "the pain of being famous", and producing shitty keyboards. People say to me that he was only popular in 2017, but I disagree. He will always have a special place in my heart. From a young age, I knew I was different. Dying my hair blue, being overly cocky, and stealing others' identities were just a few of my favorite childhood pastimes. I'm just not like other guys. From now on, I want you guys to call me Ninja Fortnite Gaming (Tyler Blevins is not acceptable). My pronouns are fort/nite. If you don't use or respect them you're a gamephobe griefer and need to try out his new skin and Gfuel flavor Chug Jug to become more culturally sensitive. Use code NINJAYT for 30% off your order today. Thank you for being understanding.
April 2022
Ninja

LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED

twitchquotes: LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016

Doge

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–“โ–„โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ
November 2014

We wub you Reynoodle. Give chat a kissy kiss.

twitchquotes: (ใฅ ๏ฟฃ ยณ๏ฟฃ)ใฅ We wub you Reynoodle. Give chat a kissy kiss. (ใฅ ๏ฟฃ ยณ๏ฟฃ)ใฅ
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

Let's snipe

twitchquotes: "PARFAIT!", says the Chief of the French Police. "We now have ze best one! Come my friend, together we can stop ze terrorists! Welcome to our ZNIPER TEAM!!". A smile appears on HufferNudes face. "Let's snipe".
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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