[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Roach boy =)

twitchquotes: no stories need bro =) yur on welfare not me=p so how is no job going for ya anyway? bottom feeding like your parents before u =) atta boy! stay at the bottom =) be a good lil roach. my job wouldnt be such a joke if it wasnt for u fools =) keep me comfy at the top =) its good to sit above roaches like u =)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

I'm gay because...

You are gay because you like men I’m gay because I hate women We are not the same
April 2022

Plankton

──────▄▄───────────▄▄─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€ β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–Œβ”€β–Œβ”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β–β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β–Œβ”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool

twitchquotes: Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games - AS USUAL. Have a nice life, "gamer"
twitch chat
July 2019

Tanner from High School

Momo 2

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β „β£°β£Ώβ‘‹β‘΄β£β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£―β‘–β£„β ˜β’Ώβ£†β „β „β „β ˆβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β ‚β£΄β‘Ώβ‘ƒβ‘œβ‘°β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ Έβ’ β Έβ£Ώβ‘†β „β „β „β „β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ’€β’ β‘Ώβ‘β‘Œβ£Όβ£»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „β‘†β£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β „β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⑇⑏⣸⣷⣳⣹⑿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣷⣿⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⠿⠻Ⓙ⣿⣿⣦⑸⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓕ⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‘β ¦β£„β‘Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ’ β£Άβ£Άβ£¦β‘Œβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ύβ£Ώβ‘†β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£‡β „β£Ώβ‘‡β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β Šβ „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£β£‹β£ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β‘ˆβ ’β šβ’›β£‘β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β „β „β „β „β „β  β’» β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ύβ£­β£½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ „β „β „β „β „β „β’˜β’» β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘·β „β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ήβ£―β£½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ£«β‘Άβ‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ‘€β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ›β£‘β£Ύβ£Ώβ‘•β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ‘…β „β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β£‘β£΄β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘‡β „β „β ˜β’―β£β£‘β£€β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β ™β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ£‘β£€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing