[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Silence Liberal

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β–„β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–„β–€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–„β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€
February 2021

I want to play Patron Warrior but I'm missing some components

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I want to play Patron Warrior but I'm missing some components. I don't have Grim Patron, Frothing Berserker, Warsong Commander, the Warrior class, and the Hearthstone game. Can you suggest some replacements?
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Gru and Spongebob fanfic

August 2021

Spongebob

NSFW

i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates

twitchquotes: Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour ε‡Έ β—‰_β—”ΰΌ½ε‡Έ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing