Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire
twitchquotes:
Hello "Kripparrian", this is *** Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire. I hear you are starting a cooking show "Papparrian & Lil' Kripp's kitchen" and I would like to send you my special pasta recipe to get you started you lil fucker. cheers mate. Please no copy tagliolini, serious business
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Kripp
Having to call a judge âyour honorâ is so cringey (found on /r/unpopularopinion)
âYour Honorâ. I mean gimmie a fuckinâ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too?
Iâve seriously seen courtrooms where theyâll say âSirâ and the judge will be like âItâs âYour Honorâ young man!!â
Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title? Use âSirâ like everybody else.
Itâs some LARPING Iâd expect kids to do. âOh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!â
Shut up.
EDIT: Iâm literally 22 and have never been in front of a judge, yâall, please relax and slow down with the theory crafting/ story writing.
EDIT 2: A lot of people are saying âitâs just a title, like Doctor!â. Judges have a title like âDoctorâ, itâs called âJudgeâ - Doctors donât expect us to call them âThy Healerâ or some crap like that.
Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag
twitchquotes:
BAN ONE 12 YEAR OLD AND YOU GET THE WHOLE 9GAG
BAN ONE 12 YEAR OLD AND YOU GET THE WHOLE 9GAG
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Ban X Get The Whole Y
I sexually identify as Harambe
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Harambe
I sexually Identify as
I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military
Ok. Listen up bud. Youâre a kid, and youâre getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it werenât for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So donât get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, youâre going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign Iâm tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. Youâve been warned.