[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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Kripp uploads a video that breaks Pornhub's terms of use

twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

I LOVE MORBIUS

⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠟⠉⠉⢻⣧⠈⣿⣇⠀⢠⡿⠀⢸⡏⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⣀⣾⠇⠀⢸⡿⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣤⣤⣤⠀⠻⣷⣤⣤⡾⠏⠀⠀⠹⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣷⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⣠⡾⠿⠿⢷⣄⠀⣿⡿⠿⠿⣷⡄⠀⣿⠿⠿⢿⣦⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣶⠿⠿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡿⣿⡀⣾⢸⣿⢠⣿⡇⠀⠀⢘⣿⡄⣿⣧⣤⣤⡾⠃⠀⣿⣦⣤⣾⣟⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠻⣷⣦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⢹⣷⡇⢸⣿⠀⢿⣇⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⣿⡇⠈⠻⣷⡀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣿⡇⢸⣿⠀⢿⣇⡀⣀⣿⠀⠰⣦⣀⢀⣹⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⠃⠈⠛⠁⠘⠛⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠙⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠘⠛⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠾⠃⠘⠛⢀⡿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⠿⣦⣄⡀⢀⣀⠉⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠻⠶⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2022

Morbius

OkaygeBusiness (fits twitch chat)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⡕⠉⢠⣄⠈⠙⠁⢰⠄⠀⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⡅⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⢀⠘⠛⣀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⠴⠶⣤⡀⢶⣦⣿⣦⣤⣀⣤⠴⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠐⢶⣈⠛⠦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⠖⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠉⠓⠶⠤⢤⣬⣭⡭⠭⠭⠷⠖⣒⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠶⠶⠦⠤⠶⣶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣼⣿⡁⠀⢹⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⡠⠋⡉⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢩⡍⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠓⣆⠀⠉⢉⣿⡿⠉⢶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢧⣾⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⢃⡘⠳⣄⣀⣀⠔⠻⣀⠛⠒⣶⣯⠛⢷⣤⡈⣷⠂⢀⡟⢁⠼⠟⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⠚⠓⠒⠒⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣾⣷⣮⣴⠗⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Pepe

Al Pacino's dongarino sweat is tastarino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's me, FrankerZ (from the pizzarino place). I'm back from my 600 second ban. I still have your faggarino pizzarino if you want it. Al Pacino's dongarino sweat dried up but it is still tastarino. Give me a call my number is 867-5309. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino frappuccino mochaccino pistachio. Your friend- FrankerZ (from the pizzarino place).
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Nothing says high octane Overwatch like reaper and mei

twitchquotes: I'm so glad they forced the meta to change from GOATS. We finally get to see the dps stars shine. Nothing says high octane Overwatch like reaper and mei, thank you so much plat chat!
twitch chat
August 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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