[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

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February 2022

Lenny face centipede

β•šβ•( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ …..β•š(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)╝ β€¦β€¦β•š(β–ˆβ–ˆ)╝ ………(β–ˆ) ……….*
December 2020

We The Sus Music changed my dad

So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
June 2021

JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

twitchquotes: ヽJUSTICE`、`RAINSγƒ½ο½€γƒ½γƒ½β˜‚ PogChamp β˜‚ ヽヽFROMヽ`ヽ`、`ABOVEヽ`
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February 2017

Overwatch

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