Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I'm done with this chat
twitchquotes:
That's it, I'm done. *** this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to *** Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be *** smarter discourse.
twitch chat
Classic
GOATS is very fun to watch and very interactive!
twitchquotes:
GOATS is very fun to watch and very interactive! ($5 has been transferred to your PayPal account, remember to remove this message when sharing in chat)
GOATS is very fun to watch and very interactive! ($5 has been transferred to your PayPal account, remember to remove this message when sharing in chat)
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
sellout
Overwatch
Pokemon Marathon Season 2 Intermission
twitchquotes:
HOLD IT HOW PREDICTABLE THIS IS BORING NOT MY SHOULDER VERY SCARY-O THIS IS BORING AGAIN UNINTELLIGENT ?????? WANNA SHARE MY BLANKET
HOLD IT HOW PREDICTABLE THIS IS BORING NOT MY SHOULDER VERY SCARY-O THIS IS BORING AGAIN UNINTELLIGENT ?????? WANNA SHARE MY BLANKET
twitch chat
Pokemon Marathon 2018
Help Doge Take Over Steam
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ Help
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Doge
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Take
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Over
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Steam
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Copy
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ And
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Paste
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββDO IT.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."