[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Intelligest response to "Who asked?"

What if somebody did ask, huh, what then? I'm sure they were quite satisfied with the answer. But you, no, you cannot for the life of you find a way to somehow think about what someone else thinks or feels. When you imply that nobody asked, you're talking solely about yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. Try to find the simple joys of life instead of wasting perhaps the best years of your life away, sitting in your shit smeared, cheeto dust covered, cum bespeckled ergonomic office chair. Maybe start working out, think about somebody other than you, secure yourself a date, anything will work, so long as you get the fuck outside and stop asking "who asked" every 2 fucking minutes, because quite frankly nobody asked for your opinion as well. You're but a speck of extra stinky shit in a pile of manure, that's all the significance you have in this world, but you can change that with 4 simple words: Shutting the fuck up. Thank you and have a good day
November 2021

Who Asked?

Warrior vs warrior

twitchquotes: HEH, GREETINGS ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper ARMOR UP ResidentSleeper I can take the hit ResidentSleeper Welcome to the grand tournament ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper TANK UP ResidentSleeper I'M OUT OF CARDS
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Kripp please lick knee twice

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ส€ษชษดแด แดส สŸแดแด แด‡, แด›สœษชs ษชs Rแด€ษดษชแด€. Mส แด›แดษดษขแดœแด‡ แด€สŸสŸ แด›ษชส€แด‡แด… แดแดœแด› า“ส€แดแด สŸษชแด„แด‹ษชษดษข สแดแดœส€ sแดกแด‡แด‡แด› แด‹ษดแด‡แด‡ แดŠแดœษชแด„แด‡ แด€สŸสŸ ษดษชษขสœแด›. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ สŸษชแด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ แด‹ษดแด‡แด‡ แด›แดกษชแด„แด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษชษด ส€แด‡แดกแด€ส€แด… ษช ส€แด€ษชsแด‡ แดœส€ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ ษดแด แด€สŸ แด˜แด€แด„ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แด€ แดษชแด…แด…สŸแด‡-แด€ษขแด‡แด… แดแด€ษด แด„แดแดแด˜สŸแด€ษชษดษชษดษข แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แด„สœษชสŸแด…ส€แด‡ษด ส™แด‡แด€แด›ษชษดษข สแดแดœ ษชษด แด€ษด แดษดสŸษชษดแด‡ แด„แด€ส€แด… ษขแด€แดแด‡. แด€ษดแด… แด˜แด‡แดแด˜สŸแด‡ แด˜แด€ส สแดแดœ $4.99 แด›แด แด…แด sแด. แดแด€สส™แด‡ สแดแดœ sสœแดแดœสŸแด… แด„แดษดsษชแด…แด‡ส€ แด˜แดœแด›แด›ษชษดษข แด›สœษชษดษขs ษชษด แด˜แด‡ส€sแด˜แด‡แด„แด›ษชแด แด‡ สแดแดœ ส™ษชษข ส™แด€ส™ส.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Obama

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ– โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2021
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