[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Banger from /r/conservativerap

Aye Yuh Uh Skrrrt Yuh I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32) Instrumental break I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32)
July 2021

Poggers

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⢠⠾⣋⣭⣄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡎⣾⡟⢻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡼⣡⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⢿⣷⣾⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⣿⣇⣸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣦⣭⣭⣄⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣧⡘⠻⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⡇⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⣆⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⡀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⠁⠄⠐⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠄⠄⠻⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄
October 2018

Pepe

I just nutted to your comment FAQ (Reddit)

I just nutted to your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to: • ⁠you being a femboy, • ⁠Spreading sti infections, • ⁠Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot 😩 Remember: I’m horny uwu
June 2021

Reddit

Hello Kripp, I am Pappargoth the Ancient

twitchquotes: ╭(◕◕ ◉෴◉ ◕◕)╮ Hello Kripp, I am Pappargoth the Ancient, an Alien from the Planet Hardcore. We sent you to Earth, where your hardcore-ness would conquer the planet. We see you have failed in the mission and become casual.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Blue Lives Matter (Smurfs)

blue people don't exist. this is offensive. i have never in my life met a blue person. SMURFS ARENT REAL GUYS. IM TIRED OF SEEING THIS BLUE LIVES MATTER, SMURFS ARE NOT REAL THERE ARE NO BLUE PEOPLE. and even if they were real, they do not matter. i hate smurfs. theyre ugly and short. i could step on them. they have big noses. i just want to pick them up and bite their heads like laffy taffy. DO NOT STAN BLUE LIVES
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing