[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist

"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?" Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?" Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-" Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?" Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-" Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?" Reporter: (silence) Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o." (Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question) "B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o." Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-" (The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben) All: "And Bingo was his name-o!" (Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
October 2021

Ben Shapiro

Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always!

twitchquotes: Hey Mods, I hope you can see this message now that the chat has died down. I wanted to say congrats! I know it's hard to manage a TwitchTV chat but I always want to tip my hat off to you guys. Through thick and thin I will still be here to always support you. I know times are hard, but you always come back with a good attitude. I wish you the very best on your next timeouts, and hope you get an even better ban score. I will continue to be here and find new TOS violations as always. Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always! You should be proud.
twitch chat
November 2014

MODS

I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!

twitchquotes: I'm SICK of STREAMERS referring to all us all as "Twitch Chat" as if we're some sort of hivemind. I am NOT a DRONE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
twitch chat
May 2015

Amogus Army

๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble

twitchquotes: Prepare for trouble! And make it double! To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples within our nation! To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above! Jessie! James! Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! Meowth! That's right!
twitch chat
August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Text-to-Speech Playing