[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Minion Joker

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–Œโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–Œโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€
September 2021

Enable Adblock

twitchquotes: qtpie, I just want to let you know that I disable adblock for your stream because I want to support you. However, due to you running ads DURING A GAME, I have now decided to re-enable adblock.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables

twitchquotes: Hello, Mr. Veganarrian, it's Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables. We prepared your package containing: Extra Thicc 30cm Cucumber and Huge Fat Watermelon with hole. You can come to pick it up any time, and we recommend you to bring your slave Rania because package is heavy. Have a nice day and go green!
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hello! My name is Reynad!

twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Kermit the frog caused 9/11

Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing