[Copypasta] Exercise caution and stay away from the Subs

twitchquotes: SECURITY ALERT: A Romanian man, roughly 6'5", skeleton thin, with black hair and scraggly beard has been seen riding the NYC Sub train and violently "Bro-Fisting" passengers. He's accompanied by a short Asian man dressed as Hitler who reputedly cuts out the tongue of anyone who refuses to give him $5. Exercise caution and stay way from the Subs!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp subscribes to life

twitchquotes: Ｉ　ｕｎｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｔｏ　ｗａｔｃｈ　Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ，　ｄｅｖｏｔｅｄ　ａｎｄ　ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ｈｉｍ，　ｈｉｓ　ｃｈａｎｎｅｌ；　ｈｏｗ　ａｍ　Ｉ　ｒｅｐａｉｄ？　Ｋｒｉｐｐ　ｂｅｔｒａｙｓ　ｍｅ，　ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｉｎｇ　ｈｉｍｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ＬＩＦＥ！　i’ｍ　ｓｏｒｒｙ　Ｋｒｉｐｐ，　ｂｕｔ　ＴＨＩＳ　ＭＯＮＴＨ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅｎ’ｔ　ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ，　ＵＮＳＵＢＢＥＤ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's Sellout Castle

twitchquotes: It is the year 2016, the Paparrian waits patiently outside Kripp's Sellout Castle. The butler, Trump, opens the door and bows, "His Grace will see you now." Trump brings the Papa into Kripp's throne room, where he sits on a jeweled throne with the Succubus. "Kripp, my son," begins the Papa, but Trump interrupts, "You must pay to speak."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

sellout

It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. It's Seppuku or Harakiri.

twitchquotes: I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nihongo (Japanese for you gaijin), and I’ve been involved in numerous study abroad trips to Japan, and I have memorized over 300 kanji characters. You need to learn that the correct term for ritual suicide is Seppuku or Harakiri. It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. Please educate yourselves.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

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