[Copypasta] Lmao you call yourself a COVID-19 fan?

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.

April 2021

ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid"

twitchquotes: ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid," is a strategy employed by many LCS teams in order to tilt their opponents. However, its successfulness is questionable, especially since it made TL lose the fastest ever international Bo5.

twitch chat

August 2019

League of Legends

I hope Zoe wins but in Spanish

twitchquotes: Espero que gane Zoe xD. Soy main de Zoe y es tan tan divertida!! Me encanta trolear con su burbuja, y sus diálogos son tan monos como cuando canta sobre tarta de chocolate LOL! Es super random pero también mas lista de lo que parece, justo como yo xD

twitch chat

October 2020

League of Legends

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ

twitch chat

January 2015

Kripp

Classic

salty

Hearthstone cardback

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ascii art

July 2015

[Copypasta] Lmao you call yourself a COVID-19 fan?

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid"

League of Legends

I hope Zoe wins but in Spanish

League of Legends

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

Classic

salty

Hearthstone cardback

Hearthstone

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