[Copypasta] There was a bug in the toilet

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN โฌ‡๏ธ TO PEE ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ THERE WAS A BUG ๐Ÿž IN THE TOILET ๐Ÿšฝ BUT I THOUGHT ๐Ÿ’ญ IT WAS DROWNED ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ‘ป โ“โ”โ“โ” N WHEN I GOT UP โฌ†๏ธ โ€ผ๏ธIT WASN'T โŒ THERE ๐Ÿ‘‰ IM SOBBING ๐Ÿ˜ญ IS IT IN MY FUCKING ๐Ÿ† BUTTHOLE ๐Ÿ‘โญ• WHERE IS ITโ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธ
twitch chat
July 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

I canโ€™t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I canโ€™t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, โ€œDo you play Fortnite?โ€. At first I couldnโ€™t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. โ€œDude, do you play Fortnite?โ€ Then I heard someone respond behind me. โ€œFortnite?โ€ Then another. โ€œYeah, that game.โ€ I couldnโ€™t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with โ€œwhere we droppin' boys?โ€. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say โ€œTilted Towers!โ€
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

I want to come. Not on your face

twitchquotes: I want to come. Not on your face. Not on your titties. I want to come over whenever you need me. Those late nights when you have too much on your mind. Or you have nothing on your mind. Iโ€™ll be there, whenever you need me.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Bernie Sanders chicken nuggest

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
April 2018

2016 US Election

Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur

twitchquotes: Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur. Literally instantly you get disintegrated. Before you can even react, every fiber of your being is atomized and lost to a mere button press. Every memorable moment of your life and all hope of a future is wasted in this brief moment a BALD Texan disliked your level. In a flash your existence is nothing but a poof. Thereafter, the BALD Texan continues on, swiftly forgetting of your existence, you having been nothing but an obstacle in his way.
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur
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