[Copypasta] One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his games—casual.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Kripp starts a salt mine

twitchquotes: As Kripp frantically tries to fix his router and internet issues. The stays dedicated and vigilante. After trying to fix these issues that arose at hand he finally came to realize that this was all worth nothing. He stopped fixing the issues and threw his computer out the window. He started up a Salt Mining company in the Himalayan mountains called Kripp Salt. He is starting a family and all is well. Thanks Kripp. BibleThump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Why does Kripp have the personality of an unflushed toilet?

twitchquotes: I don't get why Kripp has to have the personality of an unflushed toilet when he streams. At least when he's in mumble we can love to hate Cybrix. And a mumblebro or two spices things up. It gets old watching Kripp eat Greek food, mute his mic to kiss the succubus, and bitch about RNG.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
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