[Copypasta] My donger is half my age

twitchquotes: ◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕ ɪ ᴍ**ᴛᴜʀʙᴀᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴɪᴠᴇᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ʜᴀʟғ ᴍʏ ᴀɢᴇ ͡◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Repeating yourselves like parrots

twitchquotes: Wow, you imbeciles are especially stupid tonight. Repeating yourselves like parrots, spouting puerile taunts at each other, using crude 'emoticons'... Can you even form SENTENCES? One day you'll all be too dumb to even type your 'dongers,' and then twitch chat can finally have some merit. Until then, I'll stick to the moderated streams..
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I hate Twitch Chat

Canadaland

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked

twitchquotes: Diablo. PoE. WoW. GW2. Long ago,the four games lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked. Only Kripp, master of no life gaming, could stop them, but when the world needed him the most, he played ResidentSleeper stone.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing