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Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021

We politely ask for the program 'text-to-speech'

twitchquotes: (โ•ญเฒฐ_โ€ขฬ)\ Mr. Yanyuk we politely ask for the program 'text-to-speech" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (โ•ญเฒฐ_โ€ขฬ)\
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
What happened to this ad? :(

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Sneaky play more aggressive

twitchquotes: Im fUcKiNg tIrEd oF SnEaKy nOt pLaYiNg mOrE AgGrEsSiVe aNd tRy tO CaRrY GaMeS, hE SuPpOsEd tO StEp tHe fUcK Up, He iS AdC AnD BeEn pLaYiNg gAmE OvEr 7 yEaRs, LeT'S FuCkInG Go, AtLeAsT TrY To cArRy aNd mAkE PlAyS LiKe dOuBlElIfT AnD WiLdTuRtLe, If yOu fUcK Up tHeN U FuCk uP, bUt dOnT PlAy tHeSe sHiT AdC'S AnD ShIt pOsItIoNiNg iN FiGhTs aNd jUsT LeT ThE GaMe cOmE To yOu, TaKe fUcKiNg oVeR AnD OwN YoUr rOlE AnD CuRrEnT GaMe, He's tUrNiNg iNtO JuSt aNoThEr aVeRaGe aDc aGaIn. My rAnT Is oVeR
twitch chat
June 2017
Sneaky

League of Legends

I HECKING LOVE BUYING ELECTRICTY

twitchquotes: BatChest I HECKING LOVE BUYING ELECTRICTY BatChest I FEEL SO PROUD OWNING THESE ELECTRONS BatChest
twitch chat
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

What happened to this ad? :(

Survival Arena Developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (Survival Arenaโ„ข Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your Survival Arena shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel.
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

Intelligence and tolerance

twitchquotes: This is the best possible chat. The combination of inteligence and tolerance, it's just crazy. I never thought I'd ever say this, but you guys make me proud I'm a member of twitch chat. Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Male music with vocals of Gachirian era

twitchquotes: Dear host EZY WineTime of digital streams EZY WineTime gentlemen from chat EZY WineTime ask you to include male music EZY WineTime with vocals EZY WineTime of Gachirian era EZY WineTime
twitch chat
September 2020

KappaPride

Who is Octavian Morosan

twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

World War 2 in emojis

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜จ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโš”โžก๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒ๐Ÿšข ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณโ™ฟ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฃโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฒ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Žโ˜ข๐Ÿ’ฃ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERSโš ๏ธ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018

Kripp paints and is one off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But itโ€™s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. click He forgot to buy bullets. โ€œOne off lethal,โ€ Rania sobs.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Now that all the girls stop reading this...

twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Mods, can you please confirm that this was an original photo taken by OP

Mods, can you please confirm that this was an original photo taken by OP, otherwise this post should be removed as per subreddit policy. There is no further context provided here, how do we know that they didn't find this picture somewhere else? This directly affects our enjoyment of the post.
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

How traders politely decline the second date

I discovered recently if I am on a date and Iโ€™m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They wonโ€™t ask for another one then, I wonโ€™t have to politely decline.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(

Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him. Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldnโ€™t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I canโ€™t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

This AI's hero power is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ โ€œThis AI's hero power is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy deck can't win against a hero power like thatโ€ โ˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely those 4/4s to win" โ˜‘ โ€œHe hero powered the only card that could beat meโ€ โ˜‘ "He had the perfect hero power" โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing I could doโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI played that perfectly"
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son

twitchquotes: Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

I used to be a real ad

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??โ€ after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says โ€œalright, betโ€. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table โ€œfuck it, weโ€™re all in this roundโ€. Soju confidently throws down his cards โ€œ3 aces, KEWKโ€. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand โ€œI have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5โ€
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing