I discovered recently if I am on a date and I’m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They won’t ask for another one then, I won’t have to politely decline.
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K
Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
WallStreetBets
Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?
This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
Am I The Asshole?
WallStreetBets
Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk
Jeff Bezos
-Bald
-Exwife took half his networth
-Second richest person
Elon Musk
-Grew back full head of hair
-Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne
-Richest person
TSLA > AMZN
WallStreetBets
Classic
Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good.
Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good.
༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ
༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ::;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . .
༼ つ ◕_ :;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
༼ つ :;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
༼ ;::,':;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
WallStreetBets
Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon
Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon.
✨
.-' `'.
✨ / \ . ☀️ ☀️
| ;
✨ | | ___.--,
_.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. ✨
__.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""`
( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __
_`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . ☀️
`---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.'
| | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` ✨
\ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) ✨
✨ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-.
jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\
, _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . ☀️
`--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | (
(/` ( (` ) ) '-;
` '-; (-' ✨ ✨
✨
☀️
🚀 <--- BULLS ✨ ☀️
✨
🌙
☀️ ☀️
☀️
✨ 🌎
✨ 🌝
☀️
✨ ✨