I discovered recently if I am on a date and I’m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They won’t ask for another one then, I won’t have to politely decline.
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
GME short squeeze
Lets dumb this down for you apes:
- Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar
- One ape on the market has 5 banana's
- Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference.
- Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed
- If group of apes stay strong then price will go 🚀🚀🚀
WallStreetBets
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
“Are you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. “Soon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls.
After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
WallStreetBets
HODL
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑
🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑
🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑
🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑
🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
WallStreetBets
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you.
It’s an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
WallStreetBets
I’m a simple guy
I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.”
I like the stock, I buy the stock.