[Copypasta] Is that insider trading?

If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

WallStreetBets

GME short squeeze

Lets dumb this down for you apes: - Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar - One ape on the market has 5 banana's - Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference. - Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed - If group of apes stay strong then price will go ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€
January 2021

WallStreetBets

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. ๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโ€™s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโ€™s a ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโ€ฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called โ€œdoctorโ€ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donโ€™t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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