[Copypasta] Is that insider trading?

If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. β€œWhat do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. β€œNothing, really.” β€œNothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. β€œAre you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, β€œWhat’s wrong?” Stonks only go up. But you don’t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

Ape rocket

πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸ΅πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸš€πŸš€πŸš€πŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸŒπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸŒπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading

Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing