Itâs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaâs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherâs basement, grab the keys to their tan â97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word âVOTE,â and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Itâs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaâs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherâs basement, grab the keys to their tan â97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word âVOTE,â and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Wallstreetbet's Christmas break
Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I just figured out why they call them âBrokersâ
game of doctor
when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called âdoctorâ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donât even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called âdoctorâ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donât even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. âWhat?â you ask absentmindedly. Youâre looking at Futures, and youâre surprised to see them red.
âI want you to play with me.â She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnât totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, âI want to do that more.â
But youâve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. âUh huh,â you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donât realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donât say a word because you donât notice.
She hasnât left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. âWhat?â you ask absentmindedly. Youâre looking at Futures, and youâre surprised to see them red.
âI want you to play with me.â She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnât totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, âI want to do that more.â
But youâve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. âUh huh,â you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donât realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donât say a word because you donât notice.
She hasnât left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
What happened to this ad? :(