Jack Ma goes missing after criticizing the CCP. BABA stock tanks. https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/kpsy0b/comment/gi1rh98
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Drunk at Applebees
I donāt care if thereās a microchip in the vaccine. Iād let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
I donāt care if thereās a microchip in the vaccine. Iād let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
āAre you coming to bed?ā your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youāll stop soon, though. āSoon!ā you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltāthe alternation feature brokenāon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyāre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeāhours?āyou realize youāre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
āAre you coming to bed?ā your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youāll stop soon, though. āSoon!ā you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltāthe alternation feature brokenāon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyāre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeāhours?āyou realize youāre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF.
Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it.
Do not sell if you see any of these things happen:
GME drops by 30% or more after hours
SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions
GME drops below $1 a share
The Gamestop locations near you start closing
GME files for bankruptcy
GME is delisted from the stock exchange
Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment
Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF.
Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it.
Do not sell if you see any of these things happen:
GME drops by 30% or more after hours
SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions
GME drops below $1 a share
The Gamestop locations near you start closing
GME files for bankruptcy
GME is delisted from the stock exchange
Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment
Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
Solar energy stocks at night time
Itās nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them