Jack Ma goes missing after criticizing the CCP. BABA stock tanks. https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/kpsy0b/comment/gi1rh98
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GME revamp
GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
Bears after a green day
Itās 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaās frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherās basement, grab the keys to their tan ā97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word āVOTE,ā and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Itās 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaās frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherās basement, grab the keys to their tan ā97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word āVOTE,ā and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
a tesla drives down the street in 2021
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
Iām a simple guy
Iām a simple guy. I donāt know about all these fancy āfinancial instrumentsā or āmarket dynamicsā or āwhere the clit is.ā
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
Iām a simple guy. I donāt know about all these fancy āfinancial instrumentsā or āmarket dynamicsā or āwhere the clit is.ā
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
Daily WSB trader routine
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, donāt wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, donāt wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
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