[Copypasta] A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ NOT PRESSING β€œSELL” ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 I’LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP. GAMESTOP. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 TOMORROW, I THINK I’LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ I’LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND IT’S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND I’M NOT SELLING, AND I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€
February 2021

WallStreetBets

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord πŸ€–+🀴 Jeff Divorcedzos πŸ’” Salmonella πŸ” Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🀑 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole πŸ₯’πŸ’¦ πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³ πŸ₯’ Z πŸ₯’ U πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ Tim 🍎 Bottom πŸ…±οΈENIS Jack Ma MIA πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πŸ™βœοΈ
March 2021

WallStreetBets

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called β€œdoctor” basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. don’t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing