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[Copypasta]Man i love bull markets
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
Bears after a green day
Itβs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaβs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherβs basement, grab the keys to their tan β97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word βVOTE,β and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Itβs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaβs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherβs basement, grab the keys to their tan β97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word βVOTE,β and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
So Iβm an AMC shareholder
So Iβm an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I canβt believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now Iβm typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
So Iβm an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I canβt believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now Iβm typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
Apple announces an EV program
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp π
Elon TechnoCuckLord π€+π€΄
Jeff Divorcedzos π
Salmonella π Nutella π«
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman π€‘
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya π
Ryan Cocken your butthole π₯π¦ πππ³
π₯ Z π₯ U π₯ C π₯ C π₯
Tim π Bottom π ±οΈENIS
Jack Ma MIA π€·ββοΈ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the π»s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πβοΈ
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp π
Elon TechnoCuckLord π€+π€΄
Jeff Divorcedzos π
Salmonella π Nutella π«
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman π€‘
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya π
Ryan Cocken your butthole π₯π¦ πππ³
π₯ Z π₯ U π₯ C π₯ C π₯
Tim π Bottom π ±οΈENIS
Jack Ma MIA π€·ββοΈ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the π»s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πβοΈ