[Copypasta] We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma

FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iโ€™ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โ€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐Ÿš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wifeโ€™s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโ€™s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

HODL

๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. ๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

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