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More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youâre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itâs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youâre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itâs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
Fuck you all, Iâm never listening to this sub again.
Yesterday I said weâd see a rally like weâve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iâll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iâm only listening to myself now. Youâre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iâm blaming you. Of course itâs my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
Yesterday I said weâd see a rally like weâve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iâll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iâm only listening to myself now. Youâre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iâm blaming you. Of course itâs my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheâs humming a song you canât quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. âWhat do you want for Christmas?â You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. âNothing, really.â
âNothing?â She crawls into bed and touches your leg. âAre you sure?â Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyâll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, âWhatâs wrong?â
Stonks only go up.
But you donât.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheâs humming a song you canât quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. âWhat do you want for Christmas?â You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. âNothing, really.â
âNothing?â She crawls into bed and touches your leg. âAre you sure?â Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyâll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, âWhatâs wrong?â
Stonks only go up.
But you donât.
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
