I just figured out why they call them ‘Brokers’
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
I'm buysexual
I’m buysexual, sometimes I’m a top (when I buy) and sometimes a bottom (when I sell)
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor
Just heard an employee use the “F word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
WallStreetBets
Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance
Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have:
10% LUCK
20% SKLZ
15% CPW
5% PLTR
50% PAIN
and 100% R.TO (RTN)
is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
WallStreetBets
Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025
The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.