I just figured out why they call them βBrokersβ
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Bears after a green day
Itβs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaβs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherβs basement, grab the keys to their tan β97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word βVOTE,β and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
WallStreetBets
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces itβs changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
WallStreetBets
GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME
πππ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE πππ
LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. Itβs the only weapon they have on us, but it wonβt work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Donβt pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.
APES TOGETHER STRONG π¦ π π
WallStreetBets
Classic
Ape rocket
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WallStreetBets
Fuck you all, Iβm never listening to this sub again.
Yesterday I said weβd see a rally like weβve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iβll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iβm only listening to myself now. Youβre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iβm blaming you. Of course itβs my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow