The FinanceTLDR newsletter is essential reading for the casual investor. Sign up for free.

[Copypasta] I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

You've been gnomed

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████
██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████
█████▓███████████████▓███████████
████▓█████████████████▒██████████
████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████
█████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████
██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████
███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████
█████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████
██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓
▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓
▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█
▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████
█▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████
███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████
░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄
░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█
░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░
October 2018

Classic

REKT Not REKT

☐ Not REKT ☑ REKT ☑ REKTangle ☑ SHREKT ☑ REKT-it Ralph ☑ Total REKTall ☑ The Lord of the REKT ☑ The Usual SusREKTs ☑ North by NorthREKT ☑ REKT to the Future ☑ Once Upon a Time in the REKT ☑ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT ☑ LawREKT of Arabia ☑ Tyrannosaurus REKT ☑ eREKTile dysfunction
May 2014

Shrek

Classic

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

twitchquotes: Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE 🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶 CONGA LINE 💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶💃🏃🚶
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

Among Us is ruining my fucking life

I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore. Please fucking end my suffering.
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing