Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
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More Teamfight Tactics Copypastas
Privyet, Komrade Toast!
twitchquotes:
Privyet, Komrade Toast! Is your cousin Dmitri from Mother Russia! I am of hearing that you make much moneys by playing simplistic chess game for toddlers and whining like little baby in front of thousands of simpletons! BLYAT! You should play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go! Already I am recruit by man with enormous forehead for professional team Tampon Storm and will be winning many tournaments, yes! Don't be a cyka, you capitalist pig, and stop crying like baby! Love, Dmitri.
twitch chat
DisguisedToast
Teamfight Tactics
Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive
twitchquotes:
Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
Teamfight Tactics
the unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
k3soju
Teamfight Tactics
Soju Going 8th Checklist
GOING 8TH CHECKLIST: I already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔
k3soju
Teamfight Tactics
Negatron Cloak
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⠞⠛⢶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡶⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⣰⠇⣈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⡗⢿⣶⣶⣤⣴⣾⠟⢠⡏⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⢶⣤⣀⡺⠿⠋⣠⡾⠄⠄⢤⣶⣤⣄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⡄⠄
⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣣⣿⣷⣌⡛⢿⣿⣾⡟⠁⢤⣤⣀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠙⢿⣷⠄
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢭⣶⣇⠄⠻⣿⣧⡀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠙⠇
⢰⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠹⣿⣿⣄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣴⡄⠄
⢸⡿⣱⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣦⠄⠈⢿⡿⣱⣿
⠘⣵⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⢾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⡜⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠁⣿⡿
⢸⣶⣍⢿⢧⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⡜⣿⣷⣴⣦⣀⠘⠄
⠄⠻⣿⢇⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠘⡽⡟⢫⣴⣶⡆⠄
⠄⠄⠙⢷⣿⡭⠡⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⠄⢫⠄⣀⡹⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠃⠄⢀⣚⣭⣭⣭⡍⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣂⠄⣼⡿⣣⡟⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣁⣀⣈⣩⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⡶⠋⠄⠄⠄