[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Yer in proper mess ya nob head

twitchquotes: ᴜ ᴡᴏᴛ ᴍ8? ɪ sᴡᴇʀ ᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜᴇᴇᴋʏ ᴄᴜɴᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴇ, sᴀʏ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs. ɪ sᴡᴇʀ 2 ᴄʜʀɪsᴛ I'ʟʟ ʜᴏᴏᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀʙʙᴀ. ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ sʜᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜ ᴏʀ ɪᴍ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇʙᴏʏs ʀɪᴛᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀɪɴ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇ. ᴛʜᴀ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛʟʟ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀɴ sᴏʀᴇ ᴊᴜs ʜᴇᴀʀɪɴ ʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ. ʏᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀ ᴍᴇss ʏᴀ ɴᴏʙ ʜᴇᴀᴅ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

i’ll have you know that i make over 6 figures

twitchquotes: sorry bud, i don’t have time to be in a little fictional world like you do. i’ll have you know that i make over 6 figures a year and live in a house with 4 bathrooms....and that’s not even including my investments....
twitch chat
April 2019

Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing