[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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forsenE

⢸⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣗⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠫⢁⣥⣤⣤⡁⠢⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⣿⠿⠿⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡇⠛⠉⠍⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣶⣤⡠⠄⠼⠗⠄⢠⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⢛⠛⠥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣅⣐⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣊⣁⠑⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣤⣔⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣽⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠⡾⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣗⠜⠋⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⣼⣷⣦⣤⠭⠍⠉⠙⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⣠⡿⢟⢿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠒⠄⠄⠄⠰⠊⠓⠂⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⣿⣿⣿⣁⣠⣤⡀⡄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠂⠊⠈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2019
Forsen

Emote

Cum

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡖⠋⠉⠉⠙⢲⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⣤⡄⠀⠠⣤⠀⠀⢤⡄⡠⠤⣤⡀⡠⠤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⢿⡇⠀⢀⣿⡀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠒⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠈⠛⠒⠁⠛⠃⠐⠚⠛⠂⠐⠚⠓⠂⠐⠛⠓⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

NOT ANOTHER CHILDREN'S CARD GAME

twitchquotes: Kripp sighs sitting at the dinner table. “I have to play hearthstone again, FUCK!” Rania consoles him, “It’s okay sweetheart. I love you.” Kripp responds in tears “I have been having fun playing POE but I only got 6k viewers last night, how will we eat if I don’t play that goddamned Hearthstone for these morons!” Rania wraps her arms around Kripp’s neck, “It’s okay baby, it’ll be different, when Artifact comes out!” Kripp lets out a scream, “NOT ANOTHER FUCKING CHILDREN’S CARD GAME!”
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Artifact

God of War Kratos

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September 2021

Jared we need to talk, are you boosted?

twitchquotes: "Jared we need to talk" said QT sitting down at the table. "We think you have a problem" said Dom. " are you boosted?" they asked in unison. Jared began to break down and cry as he looked at his D3 account. "I dont think I'll ever get to play with you guys again unless I do" said Jared. "Quit being a *** pussy" said Dom and QT as Jared eyed the glock on the table next to them.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing