Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
What happened to this ad? :(
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I don’t know what Overwatch is
twitchquotes:
I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what “Junkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with “This is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. “This is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
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Overwatch
98% of memes aren't even remotely funny
twitchquotes:
Did 👏 You 👈 Know? 💭 98% of 💦 memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even 🌃 remotely funny, 😄 but 🍑 rather 
an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
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Among Us is love, Among Us is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life."
My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold.
I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees.
I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love.
My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.
Among Us / Amogus
NSFW
The unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
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Kripp
Obi Wan Shapiro
Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.