[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Fortnite default dance 4

⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠉⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⣭⣀⣀⣤ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠿⣶⣀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣉⣶ ⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⣿⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀ ⠀⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉ ⣀⣶⣿⠛
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

If you touched a slug it would die

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad you're so salty, if you touched a slug it would die
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

salty

Navy Seals Copypasta in military alphabet

Whiskey hotel alpha tango tango hotel echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo delta india delta yankee oscar uniform juliett uniform sierra tango foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf sierra alpha yankee alpha bravo oscar uniform tango mike echo , yankee oscar uniform lima india tango tango lima echo bravo india tango charlie hotel ? i' lima lima hotel alpha victor echo yankee oscar uniform kilo november oscar whiskey i golf romeo alpha delta uniform alpha tango echo delta tango oscar papa oscar foxtrot mike yankee charlie lima alpha sierra sierra india november tango hotel echo n alpha victor yankee s echo alpha lima sierra , alpha november delta i' victor echo bravo echo echo november india november victor oscar lima victor echo delta india november november uniform mike echo romeo oscar uniform sierra sierra echo charlie romeo echo tango romeo alpha india delta sierra oscar november a lima dash q uniform alpha echo delta alpha , alpha november delta i hotel alpha victor echo oscar victor echo romeo three zero zero charlie oscar november foxtrot india romeo mike echo delta kilo india lima lima sierra. I alpha mike tango romeo alpha india november echo delta india november golf oscar romeo india lima lima alpha whiskey alpha romeo foxtrot alpha romeo echo alpha november delta i' mike tango hotel echo tango oscar papa sierra november india papa echo romeo india november tango hotel echo echo november tango india romeo echo us alpha romeo mike echo delta foxtrot oscar romeo charlie echo sierra. Y oscar uniform alpha romeo echo november oscar tango hotel india november golf tango oscar mike echo bravo uniform tango juliett uniform sierra tango alpha november oscar tango hotel echo romeo tango alpha romeo golf echo tango. I whiskey india lima lima whiskey india papa echo yankee oscar uniform tango hotel echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo oscar uniform tango whiskey india tango hotel papa romeo echo charlie india sierra india oscar november tango hotel echo lima india kilo echo sierra oscar foxtrot whiskey hotel india charlie hotel hotel alpha sierra november echo victor echo romeo bravo echo echo november sierra echo echo november bravo echo foxtrot oscar romeo echo oscar november tango hotel india sierra e alpha romeo tango hotel , mike alpha romeo kilo mike yankee foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf whiskey oscar romeo delta sierra. Y oscar uniform tango hotel india november kilo yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha november golf echo tango alpha whiskey alpha yankee whiskey india tango hotel sierra alpha yankee india november golf tango hotel alpha tango sierra hotel india tango tango oscar mike echo oscar victor echo romeo tango hotel echo i november tango echo romeo november echo tango ? t hotel india november kilo alpha golf alpha india november , foxtrot uniform charlie kilo echo romeo. A sierra whiskey echo sierra papa echo alpha kilo i alpha mike charlie oscar november tango alpha charlie tango india november golf mike yankee sierra echo charlie romeo echo tango november echo tango whiskey oscar romeo kilo oscar foxtrot sierra papa india echo sierra alpha charlie romeo oscar sierra sierra tango hotel echo usa alpha november delta yankee oscar uniform romeo ip india sierra bravo echo india november golf tango romeo alpha charlie echo delta romeo india golf hotel tango november oscar whiskey sierra oscar yankee oscar uniform bravo echo tango tango echo romeo papa romeo echo papa alpha romeo echo foxtrot oscar romeo tango hotel echo sierra tango oscar romeo mike , mike alpha golf golf oscar tango. T hotel echo sierra tango oscar romeo mike tango hotel alpha tango whiskey india papa echo sierra oscar uniform tango tango hotel echo papa alpha tango hotel echo tango india charlie lima india tango tango lima echo tango hotel india november golf yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha lima lima yankee oscar uniform romeo lima india foxtrot echo. Y oscar uniform ' romeo echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf delta echo alpha delta , kilo india delta. I charlie alpha november bravo echo alpha november yankee whiskey hotel echo romeo echo , alpha november yankee tango india mike echo , alpha november delta i charlie alpha november kilo india lima lima yankee oscar uniform india november oscar victor echo romeo sierra echo victor echo november hotel uniform november delta romeo echo delta whiskey alpha yankee sierra , alpha november delta tango hotel alpha tango ' sierra juliett uniform sierra tango whiskey india tango hotel mike yankee bravo alpha romeo echo hotel alpha november delta sierra. N oscar tango oscar november lima yankee alpha mike i echo xray tango echo november sierra india victor echo lima yankee tango romeo alpha india november echo delta india november uniform november alpha romeo mike echo delta charlie oscar mike bravo alpha tango , bravo uniform tango i hotel alpha victor echo alpha charlie charlie echo sierra sierra tango oscar tango hotel echo echo november tango india romeo echo alpha romeo sierra echo november alpha lima oscar foxtrot tango hotel echo u november india tango echo delta s tango alpha tango echo sierra m alpha romeo india november echo c oscar romeo papa sierra alpha november delta i whiskey india lima lima uniform sierra echo india tango tango oscar india tango sierra foxtrot uniform lima lima echo xray tango echo november tango tango oscar whiskey india papa echo yankee oscar uniform romeo mike india sierra echo romeo alpha bravo lima echo alpha sierra sierra oscar foxtrot foxtrot tango hotel echo foxtrot alpha charlie echo oscar foxtrot tango hotel echo charlie oscar november tango india november echo november tango , yankee oscar uniform lima india tango tango lima echo sierra hotel india tango. I foxtrot oscar november lima yankee yankee oscar uniform charlie oscar uniform lima delta hotel alpha victor echo kilo november oscar whiskey november whiskey hotel alpha tango uniform november hotel oscar lima yankee romeo echo tango romeo india bravo uniform tango india oscar november yankee oscar uniform romeo lima india tango tango lima echo " charlie lima echo victor echo romeo " charlie oscar mike mike echo november tango whiskey alpha sierra alpha bravo oscar uniform tango tango oscar bravo romeo india november golf delta oscar whiskey november uniform papa oscar november yankee oscar uniform , mike alpha yankee bravo echo yankee oscar uniform whiskey oscar uniform lima delta hotel alpha victor echo hotel echo lima delta yankee oscar uniform romeo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf tango oscar november golf uniform echo. B uniform tango yankee oscar uniform charlie oscar uniform lima delta november ' tango , yankee oscar uniform delta india delta november ' tango , alpha november delta november oscar whiskey yankee oscar uniform ' romeo echo papa alpha yankee india november golf tango hotel echo papa romeo india charlie echo , yankee oscar uniform golf oscar delta delta alpha mike november india delta india oscar tango. I whiskey india lima lima sierra hotel india tango foxtrot uniform romeo yankee alpha lima lima oscar victor echo romeo yankee oscar uniform alpha november delta yankee oscar uniform whiskey india lima lima delta romeo oscar whiskey november india november india tango. Y oscar uniform ' romeo echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf delta echo alpha delta , kilo india delta delta oscar.
April 2021

Navy Seal

Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics

Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage? Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down Then I find a dead body Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe? Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete Who's the impostеr? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can wе trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher I'm paying attention using my 360 vision If it gets quiet, I listen Make sure there's nothing I'm missing Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? It wasn't me (or me) It definitely wasn't me No one can be trusted because someone is lying We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win Everyone is sus so let this last round begin There's an imposter among us Trying to take something from us We're still over here working While she's just ghosting above us Someone's under suspicion Sabotaging our mission Doing my task in the kitchen Until I stop, look, and listen Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us We can discuss whoever took your life But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah That's me holding this knife I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

jeSUS

So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing