[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

Just dropped down to say, I forgor

▬▬▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬▬▬ ▂▄▄▓▄▄▂ ◢◤█▀▀████▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◢◤ █▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ╬ ◥ █████ ◤ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ I forgor ╬═╬ 💀/ ╬═╬ /▌ ╬═╬ / \
October 2021

I forgor

Good Morning

twitchquotes: ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) GOOD MORNING ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

DickButt

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August 2015

Winston is basically an Anime character

twitchquotes: If you think about it, Winston is basically an Anime character. He has that epic anime leap, and that cliche genius anime glasses. I bet he gets all the ladies with his wit and charismatic humor. I wish I could be Winston, but I'm already winston :(
twitch chat
January 2019

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing