Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER
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( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
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Kripp
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store
twitchquotes:
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
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Surprised face emoji D:
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣉⣩⣤⣬⣉⣉⣉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠙⢻⣷⡆⠹⣿⣿
⣿⡇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣴⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿
⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻
⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢛⣋⣉⣉⣉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸
⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸
⣇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼
⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣬⣉⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣆⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⠌⠛⢛⣋⣉⣁⣸⣿⡿⠋⣠⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣶⡈⠙⢿⣿⣟⣈⣉⣩⣥⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣉⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣈⡉⠉⠛⣋⣉⣉⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!
twitchquotes:
Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
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Infinite Cum Part 3
Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone.
You are alone in the universe.
If there were aliens, they are dead now.
It’s over.
In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body.
Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent.
You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence.
You are alone.
You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you.
With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it.
It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door.
You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over.
You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life.
The cum stops.