[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Fancy BOOSTED

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ゚. * ・ 。゚☆・ 。゚☆・ 。゚ B O O S T E D ・ 。゚☆・ ゚. *・ 。゚☆・ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
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February 2017

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
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July 2014

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Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

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Hearthstone

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: 10 years since Dota 2 update. I walk through the e mpty streets trying to think of something else but  I always end up sitting here, in front of my comp uter. I stare at the screen for hours and try to s ummon Icefrog. I watch other games updating and ge tting new heroes but it is no good. I counter pick  Sniper to resist the meta, but it's all meaningle ss. The end is near. Then I look on the patch-upda te history and cry myself to sleep.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Silver 5, time for NA LCS!

twitchquotes: Hey guys. Me and my friends have always dreamed about joining the NA LCS. We created a ranked team, climbed up all the ranks till we got Silver 5. We have finally done it. Time for NA LCS! 4Head
twitch chat
August 2015
Riot Games

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EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing