[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

To protect the chat from devastation... Team Rocket and Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴜɴɪᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇɴᴏᴜɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴏғ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴅs. ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ sᴘᴀᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ. ᴄᴏᴘʏ! ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ! ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴘᴀᴍ ʙʟᴀsᴛ ᴏғғ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴇᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʟɪɢʜᴛ! sᴜʀʀᴇɴᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴏʀ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ғɪɢʜᴛ! Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜᴀᴛs ʀɪɢʜᴛ!
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city? I thought not. It's not a story the Playmobils would tell you. It's a LEGO legend. Man Lego was a Dark Lord of building, so powerful and so wise he could use the bricks to influence the constructions to create rescue helicopters… He had such a knowledge of building that he could even keep the ones he cared about from falling. The dark side of the LEGOs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice threw him into the river in LEGO city. Ironic. He could rescue others from the river, but not himself.
December 2020

Lego City

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

monkaS BUTTON

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 🔴 BUTTON monkaS 👉 🔴 monkaS 👉 🔴 BUTTON monkaS 👉 🔴
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino

twitchquotes: Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino i solderino my weederino to the 420 lord to pay internet connection to play legenderino leaguerino. Plzerino notice me i playerin with 420 pingerino but im challenger 420 and i always end with 4/2/0 plz help me smokerino more weederino no copy pasterino
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing