[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Old WeirdChamp

⡈⠉⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⢸⣿⣿⣿⡆⡀ ⠄⢀⣤⠛⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣥⣾⣯⣭⣭⣽⣇⢻⣿⢻⣿⡇ ⠄⠈⠁⡐⡄⠋⠉⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣻⡛⠫⠿⠿⠿⠿⠸⢋⣿⢟⡇ ⠄⠠⡆⡇⠈⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠄⠛⠃⠄⣐⡟⠓⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣀⠉⣼⡇ ⠆⠄⣭⠁⠱⢝⡋⠠⠄⠄⢴⣒⣉⣀⡀⣓⣶⣶⠆⠄⠘⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠄⣿⡇ ⡔⠄⣿⣿⡇⢙⣛⣒⠒⢒⣊⣩⣩⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⢸⡷⣲⣾⣅⠒⢁⣠⣍⣤⠿⠇ ⠄⢀⠟⢻⣿⣵⣦⣤⣬⣤⣤⣴⣿⠋⠄⣼⣿⣿⠈⢰⣄⠚⠒⠤⠤⢔⣻⣿⡒⠄ ⠄⠈⠄⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣀⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⢿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣍⣁⠄⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⣦⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣁⠚⠿⣿⢠⠿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡆⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡷⠄ ⡆⠄⠄⠰⡫⠏⠷⠋⢀⣾⢿⡳⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣦⡙⠟⣿⣟⣿⡏⢃⣰ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢁⠄⡶⠊⣇⡈⣥⣭⣽⡆⠄⠄⠲⣤⣈⢋⡿⣷⠄⢱⠖⠛⢱⣼⣿ ⣧⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠚⠉⠭⠭⠍⠻⠯⡭⠭⣟⡳⠆⣿⡇⣼⠺⠱⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⣵⡈⣹⡷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣀⣒⣖⣒⡒⠒⣒⢠⣶⣦⡉⣶⡗⢱⠇⣼⣿⣿ ⡿⢠⠄⠘⢣⠈⠄⢻⣬⡘⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠊⠄⠚⠏⣐⣵⠛⠁⢊⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⢹⣧⠄⠈⢃⠄⠄⠘⢛⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣬⢹⠟⢿⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021

Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity

twitchquotes: Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity. The closer you get to the mill horizon the more time expands, eventually becoming infinite. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Megamind Peeking "No Bitches?"

———————————No bitches?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ —————————————————————————————
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing