[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH LULW RANDOM HEALTH PROBLEMS LULW SUPER SPECIFIC SOCIETAL ISSUE LULW EMBARASSING MOMENT IN HISTORY LULW BRING UP YET ANOTHER SPECIFIC WEIRD EVENT LULW
twitch chat
May 2019

EU vs NA

Papparrian is disappointed in Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Papparrian. WHAT THE FUCK? Why are you playing a MOBA? I remember when you were a young boy and you wouldn't dare touch that shit. I'm dissapointed in you son. Rip in pepperonis
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

you can't spell "advertisements"

you can't spell "advertisements" without semen between tits
March 2021

We Live In A Society

We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or “Chad”). In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir. Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad. So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere “satire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us. Gamers Rise Up.
March 2021

Troll face 4

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May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing