[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What is so funny about copypasta?

What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
January 2020

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES

twitchquotes: MOSHI MOSHI 📞 AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES 📞 AYAYA NEED BACKUP 📞 AYAYA ARIGATO 📞 AYAYA
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

Kid you wanna see an awesome deck?

twitchquotes: Yesterday after he went offline, i was walking down Greece.. and i saw lurky shadowy person behind a wall.. i recognized him as Octavian (Kripp) after spectating him for 25mins.. he was trying to lure kids in.."(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst.. kid you wanna see an awesome deck?"?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Smash bros in the year 20XX

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Every official stream online has zero views because grassroots organizations have usurped all Esports streams. Nintendo is destitute and broke, their only source of income is through taxing sold copies of Melee, CRTs, and gamecubes. Society has evolved to the point that with a cybernetic implant, you can connect directly to netplay and shine on your opponent while broadcasting free of a DMCA complaint and a C&D letter from Nintendo. Doug Bowser is the last living human without an implant, and is found cold and naked, wondering why everyone is constantly talking about wavedashes.
twitch chat
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing