[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx

twitchquotes: We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

SYMMETRA ACTIVATED

twitchquotes: Jebaited BASTION OVERRATED Jebaited TORB OUTDATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited SYMMETRA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I am not a simp.

twitchquotes: And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.
twitch chat
July 2020

Simps

PunOko

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣅⠀⠈⢧⠀⠈⠛⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡶⠟⠀⠀⣈⠓⢤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣀⣴⠶⠿⠿⢷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠶⠛⠃⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣡⣄⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠛⢛⣲⣶⣿⣷⣉⠉⢉⣥⡄⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣿ ⡇⢠⡆⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡅⠀⠀⡄⠠⢸⣿ ⣧⠸⣇⠀⠀⠘⣤⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠀⠀⢰⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣷⣽⣦⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣶⠾⢟⣥⣾⣿⣧⠀⠂⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠒⢻⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣀⣾⣿⣿
June 2019

Weebs

5 men 9 eyebrows 1 dream

twitchquotes: This is Gambit ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º( ͡° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing