[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019

DrDisrespect zoomed in

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⣻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠀⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠛⠻⡃⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾ ⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⠃⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⡀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⢸ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠉⠙⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⡏⠻⠰⠂⢴⠖⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠐⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⡿⡿⠿⢿⠿⠿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡄⠹⡟⠿⣧⠀⠀⠹⠿⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠈⡟⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⠞⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠤⢞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

Kappa wave

twitchquotes: ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ KAPPA WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE KAPPANESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO KAPPAS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
October 2014

Bonjourno my name es Luigi

twitchquotes: Bonjourno my name es Luigi and i am from italiano and i own a restaurant called Dongerino where we make the best copy pasterino and copy pizzarino in the whole world so if you go to italiano plis come visit us you wont be disapointino. Sry for bad americano and plis no coperino pasta alfredo ravioli ravili give me the formuoli
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
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