[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Michael Santano, you are a big SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hello Micheal Santano,this is President Obama,just wanted to tell you,you are a big S E L L O U T,I used to raise my donger to you sir but no longer,do not copy this post or I will NSA your butt.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Memes are a very important issue that we face everyday

twitchquotes: I'm here to speak with you about a very important issue that we in the LoL community face everyday, memes. Memes are infiltrating our ranked queues. Memes are infiltrating our in-houses. Memes are raping our mothers and killing our fathers. The World Health Organization has traced the source to a subset of extremely toxic streamers. This group of streamers is led by the one called imaqtpie. If you ever come in contact with imaqtpie, please do a 360 and moonwalk away from his stream. Unfollow and unsubscribe. If you do this, we may still have a chance. I dream of a future where LoL is played in parks and playgrounds, in office and student lounges, and even in the bedroom, completely free of memes. Please support our cause and no pasterini
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Born to be a Twitch channel mod

twitchquotes: You can say that I was born to be a Twitch channel mod. I catch a glimpse of copypasta, the adrenaline starts pumping. A whiff of drama, I snap into duty. My streamer calls for a chat ban, I erase that motherfucker from the history books of this channel. There is no !command I won’t code, no timeout I won’t give, no Twitch laws I won’t overlook, and no order I won’t obey to make my streamer happy. And if you become his problem, well, I’m sorry to say that I’ll become yours.
twitch chat
December 2019

MODS

Classic

chat I took an iq test yesterday

twitchquotes: chat I took an iq test yesterday and it turns out I'm a certified genius. don't let this affect your opinion of me. I'm one of you.. maybe just a little bit better and smarter and hotter. I'm still Pepega at heart, albeit 5Head in brain.
twitch chat
April 2021

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science” You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated. Best regards, -an atheist(?)
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing