[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

4Head balance cans

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  DrinkPurple ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ  4Head
twitch chat
September 2016

PepegaPirate

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠐⢦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠖⠁⢀⣾⣆⡰⠶⡷⠶⣀⣾⣄⠄⠈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡄⠄⠠⢤⣤⠔⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⣤⢣⣤⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠣⢤⡠⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡟⠻⣿⣿⡿⠻⡟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠞ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠊⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠢⣤⣤⣴⣶⡶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣆⢒⣤⣤⠄⢠⠤⠤⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢻⣿⠁⡀⣿⡎⣿⣿⣀⣃⠧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡹⡼⢿⣠⠵⠿⣑⢿⣟⣛⠤⣩⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⢏⡜⡻⣷⡽⣿⣷⣭⣿⣮⣽⣯⣽⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⡿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣌⢷⣙⠾⠯⣒⡿⠭⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠭⠭⠟⢣⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣮⣟⠷⣦⣤⣝⣛⠲⠶⠶⠒⢂⣀⠠⠄⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠿⢿⣿⡷⠶⠭⠭⠭⠵⠶⠒⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2021

Pepe

Principle of explosion

We know that "Not all lemons are yellow", as it has been assumed to be true. We know that "All lemons are yellow", as it has been assumed to be true. Therefore, the two-part statement "All lemons are yellow OR unicorns exist" must also be true, since the first part "All lemons are yellow" of the two-part statement is true (as this has been assumed). However, since we know that "Not all lemons are yellow" (as this has been assumed), the first part is false, and hence the second part must be true.
August 2021

Please top switching the first 2 letters of words

twitchquotes: Dear chat, please top switching the first 2 letters of words; thereby forming a new or complety bogus word. For example in the two word sentence: "MIC MUTED". I and manny others have no idea what this means because you have switched the M with M and the M with the M. This confuses me to infinity. Thanks in advanced.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing