[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
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More Copypastas

Where was the Paw Patrol during the Iran Hostage Crisis?

As far as we know the PAW Patrol has the capabilities of international travel and possible covert operation capabilities. However, the PAW Patrol failed to assist in any way during the Iran Hostage Crisis of 1979, which is unacceptable seeing as the US diplomats were hostages from November 4, 1979, to January 20, 1981. Could it be that the PAW Patrol is run by Islamic extremist that utilize PAW Patrol to increase positive images of the extremist, while also taking money from the UN? Or that the PAW Patrol is US run, and was told by the CIA to not intervene with the hostage crisis? If it is the former, why so? Could the Iran Hostage Crisis be a hoax, used to crack down on Iran for bringing down the monarchy that was ruling Iran, made possible by a coup from the US and UK?
March 2021

Empirre is a terrible streamer

twitchquotes: Empirre is a terrible streamer and should be banned from twitch and this subreddit. Stop calling him australian xqc, you can't compare anything or anyone to this man. He makes hitler look good. On top of all of this, Empirrre broke into my house, killed my wife and daughter, stole all my life savings and burned the place down while I was at work. I honestly don't know what to do with my life anymore, he's taken everything from me. Love his streams tho keep it up empiL
twitch chat
July 2020
Empirrre

I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on

Hi (name), I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don't currently have a way to send you the 20" "horse shaft" you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon. Best Regards, PinkieCraft Server Manager "Keep on clopping."
September 2021

Traumatized Mr Incredible

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖➖⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
February 2022

Cum bee

⣿⡟⠀⢸⣿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⠄⢠⣼⣟ ⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠻⠶⢤⣀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⡦⠀⠀⠸⠉⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣉⠷⣦⡈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠐⢠⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣶⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠁⠀⠀⠙⣶⣤⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠚⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠰⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠋⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠳⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⡀⠀⢀⠐⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣮⣿⣿ ⣀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣉⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣾⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢻⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢠⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿
October 2021
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