Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Chug jug with you (lyrics)
We got a...
1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!)
Ten kills on the board right now
Just wiped out Tomato Town
My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound
Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
He said..
"Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?"
"I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP."
"Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari."
"I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet."
"There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!"
I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend.
I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer!
Cool.. pro.. Fortnite?
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2
La, lA AUGHH
La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?)
Pro Fortnite Gamer..
Can we get a win this weekend?
Take me to Loot Lake!
Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate!
Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone!
I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone!
Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro!
He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack!
I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale..
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
Fortnite
Jared returns home from North Korea to Tobito
twitchquotes:
The year is 2028, Jared returns home to Nantucket after serving his 3rd tour in North Korea. Victorious but broken, he exhales hard as he looks up to see his quaint house on the hill. It isn't until that his eyes take in the grace and beauty of Tobito Flatdickacini that he finds the will to continue living. That night they dined on rum and cheese by candlelight and reminisced of 2016. The time of Harambe, the quarrel they had that lead to JABITO, and their asexual child, Plankie. 
twitch chat
Fate_Twisted_NA
League of Legends
Monitor always grey, need you to fix
twitchquotes:
☎️📞 
HELLO? Computer repairman?? ☎️📞 This is QT ☎️📞 Monitor always grey ☎️📞 need you to fix
HELLO? Computer repairman?? ☎️📞 This is QT ☎️📞 Monitor always grey ☎️📞 need you to fix
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
You will never be a crewmate
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.