[Copypasta] I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Holding up a sign

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April 2021

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Creepy frontal pepe smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⠟⠉⠋⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠹⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡤⠖⠒⠛⠛⠒⠒⠲⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⡔⣁⡤⠖⠒⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠤⣉⠳⣆⣠⠞⢉⣁⡤⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⡉⠛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡅⠀⠀⢸⠏⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣼⡧⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠦⣙⢦⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⡏⡇⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⢙⣿⠿⢿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢠⣴⡾⣿⡿⢻⣷⣦⡀⠀⠈⢻⡇⠀⠐⠛⣿ ⠟⠁⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢠⣿⣇⣀⣼⣷⣾⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠈⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⣠⣾⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙ ⣰⠞⠛⠲⢄⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠖⠚⠁⠀⠙⠷⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⢤⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻ ⠹⣇⠀⢳⣄⡀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠘⣦⠀⠹⣍⠒⠤⣀⡀⠀⠉⠓⠶⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠖⠛⠉⠀⣀⠤⠒⢉⡴⠁⢀⠞⠁ ⠄⠀⠈⠳⣄⠈⠓⢤⡀⠉⠁⠒⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠉⢁⣠⠖⠁⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀ ⣯⣆⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠙⠲⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⠴⠒⠉⢀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠠⣾ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠦⣄⣀⠉⠙⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠋⠉⣀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡦⣶⠤⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠓⠒⠶⠤⠤⠤⣤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠶⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠒⠒⠒⠶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠒⠊⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Pepe

Feller on a farm

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⡇⠀⠀ KKona ⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣤⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡷⠀ ⠻⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀⢹⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠛⠓ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠟⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm making sure Wendy's gets the FRESHEST ingredients
April 2019
NairoMK

Kripp is a professional children's card game streamer

twitchquotes: Who the hell do you think you kids are? Kripp is a professional children's card game streamer and mobile games salesman, and you think you can just come in his chat and criticize him and his plays like you know something he doesn't? Get real. Maybe if you ate your veggies like my boy Kripp, you'd have the brainpower to make crazy split-second analytical decisions that can beat the other kids on the playground. Show some fucking respect
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing