[Copypasta] Chuck's Feeduck and Seeduck

The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where "feed" and "seed" both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Feeduck and Seeduck".
June 2021
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I've been making fake sub names for Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey, my name is Carlton Pasterino. I have something to confess. For the last 3 years I've been making fake sub names for Kripp. He pays me pennies and dimes to come up with 50 new names a day. From Thundercuck to MrRabbit69, I've made over 80% of his subs up for him. I'm tired of working like a child laborer. I'm ready to go back to college and make something of myself. I'm here to let the world know.
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

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I'm an elite smash pro

twitchquotes: Excuse me??? I'll have you know that I'm an elite smash pro in the smash ultimate leaderboards kid. I'm not gonna take any sort of disrespect from you, I've carved a name for myself in smash history bud. You're a nobody, Sakurai personally looks at all my matches to balance the game and I could get you shitty main nerfed to the floor if I fucking wanted to so watch your back you nobody.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2019

Classic

Navy Seal

I'm done with this chat

twitchquotes: That's it, I'm done. *** this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to *** Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be *** smarter discourse.
twitch chat
March 2014

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Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~โ€ข ~โ€ข ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing