[Copypasta] Chuck's Feeduck and Seeduck

The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where "feed" and "seed" both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Feeduck and Seeduck".
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My favorite character is the reaper guy

twitchquotes: My favorite character is the reaper guy. he is very powerfull. special move, honestly is one of the best in the game and so he comes equipped with these two revolvers and only takes about 3 or 4 shots to actually execute a kill so it comes really in handy specially when you come from the side.
twitch chat
October 2020

Overwatch

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

monkaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠸⠄⢀⣀⠠⠤⠤⣀⡀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠦⠘⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣧⣄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣙⢿ ⠁⢸⠀⠸⠅⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡉⠙⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⡉⢻⣿⡆ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣶⡿⠟⠸⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠶⠬⠾⠿⢃ ⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⠤⠬⠭⠁⣤⠤⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠠⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠒⠒⠂⠰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣧⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡶⠶⠶⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⠿⠛⣡⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⡶⢟⣸⣿⣿ ⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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