[Copypasta] Chuck's Feeduck and Seeduck

The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where "feed" and "seed" both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Feeduck and Seeduck".
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Missing shots

twitchquotes: 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I got him ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Pepega ▄︻┻═━一 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🦌 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 💥 󠀀
twitch chat
February 2021

nl_kripp this is le reddit army!

twitchquotes: @nl_kripp this is le reddit army! Please cease streaming or be prepared to get downvoted!! If you do not IMMEDIATELY stop streaming I'm going to meme you so hard that you're fedora falls off. I bet you did nazi see that coming. Nailed it, you see what I did there? DO NOT COPY PASTE THIS! Good day sir!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

Please say you're sorry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am a 14 year old boy from Canada. I played you today in arena and I won, I was excited to beat a famous player like you! I opened your stream, and I felt bad because you said I played badly and won because of luck. Please say you're sorry or I'll never play Hearthstone again. Please no copy pasterino 10th graderino
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing