[Copypasta] Todd Howard Fallout 76 announcement

twitchquotes: Hey, gamers. It's me, Todd Howard with an important announcement. Fallout 76 was all an early April Fools' joke. To help us release the REAL game, Fallout: New Vegas 2, all I need is your credit card number, the expiration month and year, and the three digits on the back.
twitch chat
November 2018
Fallout 76 was a huge flop on release. Massive PR backlash.
What happened to this ad? :(
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This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

If the human body is 75% water...

twitchquotes: If the human body is 75% water, how can you be 100% salt? Kappa
twitch chat
September 2015
Reynad

salty

cannabis addiction

twitchquotes: iam a 7 year old boy with a cannabis addiction, iam in rehab and i only have lol streams for entertainment, i wish to be the best mordekaiser in ze world, can u teach me bjerg? This is my story dont copy paste plz
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

FrankerZ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣬⣇⣀⣠⡿⠋⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠹⣿⣿⡽⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠙⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠈⢻⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⠿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠛⠛⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
September 2020
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