[Copypasta] Todd Howard Fallout 76 announcement

twitchquotes: Hey, gamers. It's me, Todd Howard with an important announcement. Fallout 76 was all an early April Fools' joke. To help us release the REAL game, Fallout: New Vegas 2, all I need is your credit card number, the expiration month and year, and the three digits on the back.
twitch chat
November 2018
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NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ NOT PRESSING โ€œSELLโ€ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš Iโ€™LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ CANโ€™T STOP. WONโ€™T STOP. GAMESTOP. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš TOMORROW, I THINK Iโ€™LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ Iโ€™LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITโ€™S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND Iโ€™M NOT SELLING, AND Iโ€™M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Forsen's face

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ฐโขกโฃพโฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก…โ ˆโขพโขงโฃซโ „โฃกโ „โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โ ธโฃฟโ โขฟโ ‹โขฑโ „โ โกโกžโ ฃโ ปโฃฟโขฃโข›โก„โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โก„โฃ”โขฏโฃ…โ ‰โ Šโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ „โ โ „โข›โฃกโฃงโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โข€โฃ โ ฟโ ฆโ ฟโ ‰โข€โฃคโฃถโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃฆโฃ„โก€โ ˆโขปโฃทโฃคโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โข€โข‡โกดโ ‚โข€โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโก€โฃˆโฃฟโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ ‡โ โ ƒโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โ ˆโ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ ธโ „โก€โฃผโกฟโ ‹โฃ โฃคโฃ„โฃ€โฃˆโ ™โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ‰โข€โฃ€โฃ โฃคโฃ‰โ โ ˆโก„โ „โ „โ „ โขฐโฃ‡โขฐโขณโฃฟโฃฅโฃพโกฟโ ›โข›โฃ›โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโข›โฃ›โกปโขฟโฃทโฃ„โขทโ „โ „โ „ โ โฃ‡โกพโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฐโ Ÿโ ญโ นโขทโฃบโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ดโ Ÿโ โขนโ †โฃปโฃฟโฃผโ „โ „โ „ โ „โ ธโขงโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โ ปโขญโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โ ปโ ฟโฃฟโ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโฃฉโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃธโฃโฃ‰โฃ‰โฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃจโฃฟโฃŸโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ‡โ „โ „ โ „โ „โฃธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ˆโ ›โ ›โขฟโกŸโ “โ „โ ‰โ ™โ “โ ฎโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก„โ „ โ „โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ€โฃญโฃคโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ „ โ „โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‡โ บโฃงโฃ„โก€โขฏโฃฉโก…โฃถโฃ’โฃคโฃฉโกโฃฝโก โ ‚โฃผโก€โฃธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡ โ „โก‡โ „โ „โ ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโฃคโฃคโฃ‰โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃคโฃพโกฟโ „โขป
September 2019
Forsen

Bender

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
September 2021

TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them. Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem. At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancรฉe, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day. While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made. Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that! Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
August 2021

Classic

By the order of Donald of the house Trump

twitchquotes: SMOrc By the order of Donald of the house Trump SMOrc First of his name SMOrc True heir of these United States SMOrc Builder of Walls, Protector of the Border SMOrc I deport you from this chat
twitch chat
October 2016
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