[Copypasta] Todd Howard Fallout 76 announcement

twitchquotes: Hey, gamers. It's me, Todd Howard with an important announcement. Fallout 76 was all an early April Fools' joke. To help us release the REAL game, Fallout: New Vegas 2, all I need is your credit card number, the expiration month and year, and the three digits on the back.
twitch chat
November 2018
Fallout 76 was a huge flop on release. Massive PR backlash.
What happened to this ad? :(
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AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021

MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers you’d find on Xbox lobby’s. I’ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. I’ve tried to tell him that’s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesn’t listen to me and insists he isn’t racist and that he’s just saying it because he’s angry. I’ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldn’t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
September 2021

Fortnite

Popeye

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September 2021

Trump gave Katie Kripp's MITHRIL ARMOR

twitchquotes: Hello "Kripp" ...or should I say COCKTAVIAN. Guess who? YEAH. It's KATIE. From HIGH SCHOOL. Ever since you left me to play this stupid game, me and Trump have decided to continue playing Runescape WITHOUT YOU. And guess what? He gave me your MITHRIL ARMOR. Have fun playing this stupid card game, JERK!.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
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