[Copypasta] Todd Howard Fallout 76 announcement

twitchquotes: Hey, gamers. It's me, Todd Howard with an important announcement. Fallout 76 was all an early April Fools' joke. To help us release the REAL game, Fallout: New Vegas 2, all I need is your credit card number, the expiration month and year, and the three digits on the back.
twitch chat
November 2018
Fallout 76 was a huge flop on release. Massive PR backlash.
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

It's 2094 and Jared still can't get back to challenger

twitchquotes: It's the year 2094 jared still can't get back to challenger. Qt and dom have trolled him in every promo he has played for the past 80 years. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Domo Kun

─────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„ β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–’β– β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β– β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€ β”€β”€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–β–’β–’β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–β–„β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–€β–€β–„β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀───────
ascii art
September 2021

Mindless spam

twitchquotes: Mindless spam.Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products made by the Hormel Foods Corporation. Is mindless spam therefore precooked meat products with the brain left out? Or maybe it's the repetitive commenting withought the use of any cerebral capacity? YOU be the judge
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Cybrix's voice

twitchquotes: ＀ｅａｒ οΌ£ο½™ο½‚ο½’ο½‰ο½˜οΌŒ οΌ© ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½‚ο½…ο½…ο½Ž ο½“ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½…ο½Œο½™ ｄｅｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｏｖｅｒ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½Œο½ο½“ο½” ο½ο½ο½Žο½”ο½ˆ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½ο½ο½Œο½ο½”ο½…ο½„ ο½“ο½•ο½‰ο½ƒο½‰ο½„ο½…οΌŽ １ｆｔｅｒ ο½ˆο½…ο½ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ｙｏｕｒ ο½–ο½ο½‰ο½ƒο½…οΌŒ οΌ© ο½Žο½ο½— ο½’ο½…ο½ο½Œο½‰ο½šο½… οΌ© ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½Žο½ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½Œο½…ο½†ο½” ｔｏ ο½Œο½‰ο½–ο½… ｆｏｒ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½—ο½‰ο½Œο½Œ ο½‹ο½‰ο½Œο½Œ ο½ο½™ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½† ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ ο½—ο½…ο½…ο½‹οΌŽοΌŽοΌŽοΌŽ οΌ΄ο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‹ο½“ ｆｏｒ ο½ο½ο½‹ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ｍｙ ο½„ο½…ο½ƒο½‰ο½“ο½‰ο½ο½Ž ｓｏ ｅａｓｙ OpieOP
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp
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