[Copypasta] Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates

twitchquotes: Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour 凸 ◉_◔༽凸
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Grand Dragon Jebodiah Pasterino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is the Grand Dragon of the KKK, Jebodiah Pasterino. I see you're wearing one of our signature white hoods. We at the KKK do not associate with casuals such as yourself. Please remove the hood or we will take legal action.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

What is left of the Kripp we all loved?

twitchquotes: Ｎｏ ＰｏＥ， ｎｏ ｃａｔｔａｒｒｉａｎ， ｎｏ ＯＪ， ｎｏｔ ｎｌ． Ｗｈａｔ ｉｓ ｓｔｉｌｌ ｌｅｆｔ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｋｒｉｐｐ ｗｅ ａｌｌ ｌｏｖｅｄ？ Ｎｏｗ ｈｅ ｐｌａｙｓ ｃａｓｕａｌｓｔｏｎｅ， ｆｉｓｔｓ ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｒｓ， ｄｒｉｎｋｓ ｍａｎｇｏ ｊｕｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｐｌａｙｓ ｆｏｒ ＴＳＭ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

But then came Casualstone

twitchquotes: Know, O Chat, that before the rise of the Succubus, there was an Age undreamed of, where difficult bosses lay spread across the games - World of Warcraft, Diablo 3, Path of Exile. Hither trod Kripparrian, mightiest gamer in the land, to crush the bosses beneath his feet. But then came Casualstone.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

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