[Copypasta] Maximus Kappacus Spamicus, commander of the Twitch Armies

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ My name is Maximus Kappacus Spamicus, commander of the Armies of the Twitch, General of the PJSalt Legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor Kripparrian. Father to a banned son, and husband to a banned wife. I will slay all moderinos, whether in this chat or the next. <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

MODS

salty

I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Infected with the Dank Pasta Virus

twitchquotes: bᎽ ᏒᎬᎪᎠᎥᏁᎶ ᏆhᎥs mᎬssᎪᎶᎬ ᎽᎾu ᎪᏒᎬ ᏁᎾᎳ ᎥᏁfᎬᏟᏆᎬᎠ ᎳᎥᏆh ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus. ᏆᎾ ᎶᎬᏆ ᏒᎥᎠ Ꮎf ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus, ᎽᎾu musᏆ ᏢᎪss ᎥᏆ ᎾᏁ ᏆᎾ ᏆhᎬ ᏟhᎪT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ I'm cured!!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing