[Copypasta] Full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become

twitchquotes: DING! The Kripps d**k hardens as his wallet fills with $5 subway gift card. He stares with dead eyes into the camera, full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become. "welcome to the five dollar club" spills from his mouth as blood from an open would. The brofist happens meekly. He smiles, wondering when the sweet release of death will take him.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Ben Brode and Firelands Portal

twitchquotes: Ben Brode here! We are happy to announce we have finally solved an issue that has plagued Hearthstone since beta. Despite our best efforts with cards like Flamecannon and Ethereal Conjurer, Mage was still able to lose games in Arena. With the Old Gods we introduced Faceless Summoner, and yet mage's average arena winrate was still only 75%. With the introduction of Firelands Portal, we hope to finally make Mage a viable arena class. 4Head
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

VROOM VROOM Motor bike guy

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｍｏｔｏｒｂｉｋｅ Ｇｕｙ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＶＲＯＯＯＯＭ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The legend of the button

twitchquotes: The legend of the button grew as the potential dust reward that came with it increased. But in the end when the no life Kripparian who had long sold out pressed it, the playful sprites robbed him of his joy and crashed his client. Kripp fell to his knees and in a solemn proclamation said "Never Lucky".
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

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