[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

What is inside that taco? Oh no it's Kripp's arena run

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull 0-3 TBCheesePull TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S KRIPP'S ARENA RUN LUL
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner's life continues its downward spiral

twitchquotes: After his shift at McDonald's, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, waiting for Kripp's stream to begin. As soon as Kripp's face appears, he begins one of his tirades, insulting and mocking Kripp, the happily-married, multi-millionaire video game streaming sensation. "That'll show him", Tanner mutters to himself, as his life continues its downward spiral.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Tanner from High School

I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend we're holding hands

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) sometimes... when i have a bad day.... I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend that we're holding hands (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Classic

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