[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Please fulfill my dreams Kripp

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Alnilamlol - I am a long time viewer and you never brofisted me when i subbed 1 year ago BibleThump - please fulfill my dreams kripp .. Please .. BibleThump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Sorry I dropped my bag of doritos

twitchquotes: ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of doritos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing