[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle

twitchquotes: I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle ... the baller veganism ... the high fibre diet ... the dope falafel wraps. The dude is regular!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Watch Kripp's stream as punishment

twitchquotes: I'm typing this from prison where we are forced to watch Kripp stream as our punishment. If he gets to 12 wins we will all be let go. Otherwise we will be executed tomorrow morning. Please Kripp, we're all rooting for you BlessRNG
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Shut your eyes and listen closely

twitchquotes: Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Second breakfast

twitchquotes: "Rania, where's my breakfast?" asks the Kripp. "You already had it!" she replies. "Yes, I've had one, but what about second breakfast?" asks the Kripp. As Rania walks away, Kripp is startled. "I don't think she knows about second breakfast," Kripp panics, "What about brunch, elvensies, afternoon falafel?"
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
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