[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

FOR THE HORDE tank

twitchquotes: β–ˆ SMOrc β–ˆ β–ˆ ]β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ ............β–‚β–„β–…β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–…β–„β–ƒβ–‚ ...........β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ] ...........β—₯βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β–²βŠ™β—€FOR THE HORDE
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born

twitchquotes: (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born. Every day he would dream of a better life, one with Spreadsheets and all the OJ he could drink. One day a magical Succubus came and whisked him away, she promised him glory, cats and best of all... Boobs. Now Kripp is dead. The End (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Kripp sends Hafu a romantic letter

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Hafu... Remember when i asked you to unleash your hounds on my freezing trap but instead you gave me an explosive shot to the face with your acidic swamp ooze? While i always love a good multishot to the face... you finished so quickly it fealt like i was having sex with Nozdormu or something... i mean, i am not just some succubus for you to shiv any time you please..
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

We subbed because we have cash, non-subs are trash

twitchquotes: Hey you poor, underaged trash. You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am sub. Means im VIP. Means I got cash. What you got? You got sh!t. You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. We subbed because we have cash. Real life jobs, real life credit
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

#1 'Cutest Teenage Streamer' from Casual Gaming Monthly

twitchquotes: Congratulations Kripp! You have been voted #1 'Cutest Teenage Streamer' by the readers of Casual Gaming Monthly! Your ability to still look adorable while losing game after game in Hearthstone is truly something special!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing