[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Seagull

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ—โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
December 2015
Kripp

It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. It's Seppuku or Harakiri.

twitchquotes: Iโ€™ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nihongo (Japanese for you gaijin), and Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous study abroad trips to Japan, and I have memorized over 300 kanji characters. You need to learn that the correct term for ritual suicide is Seppuku or Harakiri. It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. Please educate yourselves.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

You better wear the TSM T-Shirt

twitchquotes: Hello TSM_Kripp, TSM manager here. We can see that you aren't wearing our TSM T-shirt. Remember that it is a vital part of our contract. If you want the fuckmaster-vol7ron you better wear the damn shirt.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Which Rogue card should I pick?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Backstab (like you backstabbed Paparrian ) Betrayal (like you betrayed Paparrian ) or Vanish (like you vanished from Paparrian)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Huntard is confused

twitchquotes: ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ†๏ฝ•๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝ„๏ผŽ ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ•๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ผŒ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ” ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ผฅ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝ„ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ„๏ผŽ ๏ผก ๏ฝ“๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝŒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ†๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝˆ๏ฝš๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ผŽ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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