[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Copyright infringement of copypastas

twitchquotes: TWITCH CHAT, this is the POLICE. We have heard rumors that you have been performing illegal actions, such as copyright infringement in this stream. You must cease your use of these copy(righted)pastas immediately or you will be arrested for your crimes. Internet piracy is NOT a victimless crime, and you WILL be punished.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Vegan prison

twitchquotes: Attention Kripp: As a friendly vegan lawyer, you need to inform chat this is 100% sellout stream. If you want to stay away from vegan prison where meat is stuffed into all new inmates, inform chat now.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

VROOM VROOM Motor bike guy

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Motorbike Guy here. Just wanted to say: ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOMU ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing