[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER

twitchquotes: ( 蜖掳 蜔蕱 汀掳) CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER ( 蜖掳 蜔蕱 汀掳)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

One chat, under Kripp, unbannable, with OJ and BM for all

twitchquotes: 銉洁技鈽戀勍溾槕嗉斤緣 I pledge allegiance to the chat of the United States of Kripparian, and to the Spammerino for which it stands, one chat, under Kripp, unbannable, with OJ and BM for all 銉洁技鈽戀勍溾槕嗉斤緣
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Military intervention on the territory of Kripparrian chat

twitchquotes: 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣THIS IS MILITARY INTERVENTION ON THE TERRITORY OF KRIPPARRIAN CHAT, WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT RUSSIANS IN THIS CHAT!! WE TAKING 1/3 OF THE CHAT OVER 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing