[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Brofist straight in your pepperonis

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, I ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ. Mʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs sᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ "ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴜᴘ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. Iғ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟɪғᴇ, I'ʟʟ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs. Tʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ, ᴀssʜᴏʟᴇ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Mayor of Canadaland

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʏᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴄᴀɴᴀᴅᴀʟᴀɴᴅ. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴍʏ sᴏɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀ sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴜs ᴏᴜʀ sᴀʟᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴅʀʏ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ɪs ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ʜᴀʀᴅ-ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅᴀɪʟʏ ᴍᴇᴀʟs. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hello Kripp, proud brony here

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 Hello Kripp, proud brony here. I was just wondering if you could played the "dreadsteed" deck as it reminds me of my waifu Twilight Sparkle. Thanks, it would mean soooo much to me (✿☯‿☯✿) 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Wagner Opera Topdeckhoffen

twitchquotes: Gᴜᴛᴇɴ Tᴀɢ, Hᴇʀʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ! Mᴇɪɴ Nᴀᴍᴇ ɪsᴛ Pᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴠᴏɴ Pᴀsᴛᴇɴʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Hᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ Dᴇᴜᴛsᴄʜʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ Wᴀɢɴᴇʀ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ Tᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Rᴀɴɪᴀ ɪs Vᴀʟᴋʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀs Pᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ. Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴘᴏᴜʀs Oʀᴀɴɢᴇɴsᴀғᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ ɪɴ sᴋʏ ᴀs ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢʜᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Pʟᴢ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏɢᴇɴ ᴅᴀᴀɢᴇɴ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

One mouse to rule them all

twitchquotes: Three mice for the Diablo 3 players under the sky, Seven for the Hearthstoners in their halls of stone, Nine for Path of Exile doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the Land of Greece where the Shadows lie. One mouse to rule them all, One mouse to find them, One mouse to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
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