[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
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My 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe"

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, mom here, my 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe". I dont know what that is, but a quick Google search shows Kripp subscribers are linked with NaCL overdose disorder. Can you explain this? - Sincerely, a concerned parent
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May 2015
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salty

Amaz and Kripp

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
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August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Pizza baked, crust is cheesy, hey y'all, gimmie gimmie

twitchquotes: ヽ༼OpieOP༽ノ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ʙᴀᴋᴇᴅ, ᴄʀᴜsᴛ ɪs ᴄʜᴇᴇsʏ, ʜᴇʏ ʏ'ᴀʟʟ, ɢɪᴍᴍɪᴇ ɢɪᴍᴍɪᴇ ヽ༼OpieOP༽ノ
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November 2014
Kripp

D3 is boring

twitchquotes: Hmm, something tells me that Kripps audience has gotten enough from D3 for most part... Just can't really put my finger on... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing