[Copypasta] Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp and Trump

twitchquotes: Aʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡᴀs ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʜɪs ʜᴇᴛᴇʀᴏsᴇxᴜᴀʟ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ. Nᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ᴇxᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ, ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ғᴇᴇʟs? I ʙᴇᴛ ʜᴇ's ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ʜɪs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ.Yᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴀsʜᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟᴠᴇs.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Ebolus enchantus

twitchquotes: (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp suffers from Casualitis

twitchquotes: Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Kripps anguish in his expression is palpable

twitchquotes: Kripps anguish in his expression is palpable, his gray eyes burning. 'im going to CHUGGA,' he murmurs, his voice full of longing. I brace my self for his cold hard thrust. his ice lance pierces. As he presses closer, my breathing quickens. He has lethal, my body explodes.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Coca Cola shortage

twitchquotes: THIS JUST IN: Stores across the world are reporting a major shortage of 'store brand Cola'. Sources indicate that over 20 million bottles were sold within minutes of an endorsement by some dirty Romanian living in Athens.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing